A Life worth living...

A Life worth living...

Namaste everyone,
Lives of ordinary people are  not that flamboyant and full of success stories..We do not have a story of Rag to Riches as well...we fall in the category of  pretty average kind of life.
Average average..we call ourselves average in everything..average life style, average looks..average aspirations...average everything..but do we  know the reason or do we even ever bother to do anything about it.. The answer is a obvious "No"...
"Hum log khud apne aapko average samjte hain..lekin expect karte hain ki, others should think highly about us,without really doing anything about it..."🤔🤔our strange expectation from ourselves..
We all have been given a life worth living..but we never bothered to live,  we simply exist..like the furniture of our house..we are there ,we are somehow useful..but not something that someone can not do without..
We wasted many years doing nothing...or managed  to live in whatever little we already had..We never thought of really achieving  something..we never tried something new..we never tried things we would really love to do if we were not having social  pressures.(I am not at all telling to run away from responsibilities  and your present life)
We never lived because we either never find anything worth  doing mainly because  of our own incompetence or never gave importance to living life to the fullest..
Life is always worth living, loving and enjoying... Everybody in this world has their own bunch of problems..
The problem is not others but we ourselves..we are indifferent  towards our own growth..we never gave importance  to the fact that life is not infinite..we all have a limited predefined  amount of time..like we all keep postponing living a healthy  lifestyle or to the minimum going for a walk..we keep saying,"kal se start karenge" we will definitely start tommorow..
When we give least importance  to health related things how can we exoect pur ownselves to do something really related to self growth and learning..we never want to come out of the comfort zone  of our so called ordinary lives..we feel not only unworthy for a better life but also think of a thing we can do without..
We should not forget that as time passes, so does years simply doing nothing significant..We keep on giving excuses,after a particular problem passesin life another emerges ,If we wait for all problems  to simply vanish  away ,its never gonna  happen..(My problems were like when kids grow up I  will start,when  the courses will be free or on discount then only I will join..when my maid will start coming then I will start,when we go to  hometown then I will start,when kid's vacations will start,then I  will definitely  start)..but never started and wasted so many years that now I personally  feel  many things I would otherwise  would have loved to do ,I  can not do..due to my age..or health  issues ...
Please donot waste your lives by waiting for all problems  to get solved before making a start..We  have to begin from somewhere, sometime then why not now???
Life is worth living ,everybody in this world is atleast worthy of doing whatever  they love to do or are passionate about..So follow your instinct,follow your dream and  make the best of this precious  life of yours..and "Let's  prove to the world that Life is worth living."🥰🥰

Remembering failures..on the roof top...

Remembering failures..on the roof top...

Namaste everyone,
Today a weird  feeling cropped into my mind,I had gone on my apartment's  terrace for a walk in the evening..as we can not go anywhere in these Corona times..I very rarely go for a walk on terrace..but weather was very awesome , as everybody knows about the beautiful  Bangalore  weather..it was very cloudy as well.. instead of walking I thought of simply standing in one remote corner of the terrace..I was just staring the dark black clouds ..wind was chilling and hitting me hard on my face...and along with them came all the bad memories  of how low I felt when ever I failed ..all the times I tried but could not achieve anything .. bad experiences that I had over the years of my life that I donot like at all..It made me remember, all bad decisions  I took..without thinking about the consequences that worstly  affected my life both personally and professionally..
Remembering failures is no way convenient and comfortable ..
"I really felt sad and a tear came rolling ....I was weak and vulnerable ...at that time."
I thought I am noway near to what I really aspired for ..how weak I have become ,so underconfident..I saw darkness..all over..that was in my mind aswell, suddenly I saw bright yellow light coming from the sun..it was not that bright but it was there...
Along with that came the sounds of my kids calling "Mamma Mamma..,come we are waiting  for you.."
Suddenly I came out  of that shell of negativity  and darkness that had  engulfed   me  standing there..
This strong feeling  reminded me that  not everything is wrong in everybody's life..not in mine either..Something to love ,something to cherish for,something to live for, is always there..but with all that negativity that we are in ,we fail to see them or even feel them...I do have a failed professional  life, but I have my kids  and for them I am the best..and the most important..
Although this feeling is true to the core and nothing can be more satisfying  than this..but tricky part here is that  this very feeling is not  for ever..I am not saying it will  dissapear completely but will surely start to fade away as kids will be growing and becoming  more and more independent...
So ,what is the solution ???What  I feel is, we have to start focusing on ourselves,we have to take time out of our busy personal schedules..we have to take out time for some kind of self development ,self grooming  and learning.. It can be anything  but something totally focussed on our ownselves..It is important  and inevitable,  sooner or later we all will realise this ,so  why not start now...Think about it..🤔🤔

Carrying on with life is difficult...but worth it..

Carrying on with life is difficult...but worth it..

Namaste  everyone,
I wonder sometimes why it is so so... difficult for us especially the ordinary ones to  carry on...We are carrying  on not only in personal but also  in professional  lives...
In our personal lives we are always the adjusting ones ,the understanding ones..who are always ready to compromise  so that relationships  donot break..We are like this and we donot find anything  wrong in this,this  is part of our nature..but this is not at all easy ..Many a times things do get of control and it really gets very difficult  to carry on..We value our relations,they are very important  and inevitable  for us..we love them and care for them..this gives us immense motivation to carry on no matter what..
On  the other hand as far as our professional  lives are concerned  we are not that strong and highly motivated..we make it a thing that we can even do without(I am here more concerned about females who sacrifice their professional life for their personal lives).This sense  of least prioritising  our professional  lives over personal lives.. over the years not only spoiled our professional  carriers  completely but also label us as under achievers , unsuccessful  and unworthy  even in the eyes of those for whom we took all these decisions..These decisions that we usually  take , totally ignore our professional  life and  is not at all recommended...I know there are some important  years of our lives when we need to prioritize  our personal  lives..and professional  life does take a back seat.. but total ignorance  towards professional  carrier is a real bad we do to ourselves..We do carry on like this for years but sooner or later this  decision  of ours will start showing  it side effects..resulting in low self esteem,low confidence and degraded respect of our own self in our own eyes..forget about how low people also start looking at us because of a failed carrier..
Now even if we make a new start after  gathering  all the courage  in the world..it  gets very very difficult to carry on..This struggle is real..We appear old school..we lack  confidence,we lack knowledge..we are not up to date.. our expertise  is also years old..and of course fear of judgement is always there as a constant haunter to us..Believe  me its true as I face it and continue  to do so...
One thing that keeps me going is the thought that when am quite good (as I personally  feel😊😊) and successful  in my personal life , its not because everything is quite outstanding in my personal life..but the reason is I have decided  to carry on..I prioritise  my relationships the most..they are my love and my life..So So...If   in a similar manner I decide to give importance and priority  to my professional  life ,I will definitely  be able to carry on..Over the years as we nurture our relationships..Everything is not absolutely  fine in relationships  also..but we do not decide to quit..then in this new journey  of ours ,of course  everything will also not be easy and comfortable..but if we decide to continue with the thought that professinal life is also important..(not for the money related things ..they are also of course important)but with the thought that it is solely  for our own self growth  and satisfaction. Sooo...Please  carry on..even if you are not getting any results or even negative results..continue your journey...atleast you will little closer to your destination  with each passing day..and will surely succeed 😊😊
P.S I started my blogging journey  a month ago and am not of course  that successful today..but I personally feel  ,if I can relate with any body reading this, one day I surely  will..😊😊

What are our fears??Failures,rejections or losing someone..

What are our fears??

Namaste  everyone,
Everyone in this world has some kind of fears.
Dictionary meaning  of fear is 'an unplesant emotion caused by the threat of danger,pain or harm'.
We ordinary  people have fears that really create a sense of unpleasantness in our minds  that if we express ourselves or start living for our ownselves or if we will start doing something  new ,we feel the threat of judgement by others ,that further leads to the  sense of danger  in the form some kind of insult ,verbal abuse or some kind of ruthless  statements  that really hurt our dignity  and self confidence and further leads to immense pain that is of course  not visible to any body..that harms us in numerous  ways like depression, low self esteem,lack of confidence and a strong feeling of unworthiness..We all do have fears of failures, rejections or fears of losing someone or things very close to us..We continue to live in fears for years altogether  only because of the fear of the consequences of our fears..In this long continuous  process we become  so emotionally  weak..that we forget to live,we just want to be part of the crowd,we can never think of trying  something new,we can not do anything that is beyond the set rules of society..We just want to please everyone ,we can never say "No" to anyone ,we will never let others know what is going through  our  minds , how insecure and weak we actually  become  we  have no idea about..
I personally  feel "Fear" is something  bad that we expect  that it may happen in future.
I am not saying fears are totally unreal..but the thing is till it has not happened or turned to reality , Why can not we just try to  turn the tables??..Why can not we try doing something about it..we feel the threat of judgement by others ,that further leads to the  sense of danger  in the form some kind of insult ,verbal abuse or some kind of ruthless  statements  that really hurt our dignity  and self confidence and further leads to immense pain that is of course  not visible to any body..that harms us in numerous  ways like depression, low self esteem,lack of confidence and a strong feeling of unworthiness.. We fear failure,but Why can not we work more harder?? ,try giving more than  our 100%,Why can not we prepare ourselves  for all kind of results??..Why can not we become mentally strong??..Why can not we have a Plan B,Plan C.....and so on..if Plan A fails...why can not we change our mindsets..Think about it..Let me know how you all feel about it..🤔🤔
Taking fears head on is not easy but it is definitely  not impossible ..atleast we can live life happily before anything bad happens as we actually  assume it to happen..With nurturing our self growth , our self confidence  can definitely  be boosted  and we become head strong to face life as comes to us .😊😊

My diary,my best friend, Day 2.

My diary,my best friend..2

Namaste everyone,
The day I started writing  my diary,I am feeling relieved a lot ,One funny thing I realized is that "I also talk a lot.." although in the form of my writings  to my diary.. Fear of judgement  is not there,I donot have to feel anxious  that my thought process does not gel well the contemporary  ways of our society 's functionalities most importantly, I will never hurt anybody ever ..That has always been my priority, that is the main reason I donot talk much or speak out loud or even speak without thinking and as a result of which I always present a polished version of myself..I never want to hurt anybody in this world ever..
With my writings  my sole intention  is to express my ideas and feelings in a free manner and noway intend to be rude or insulting  to others. One more important  thing ,I can easily  say 'No' to things I donot like ,I need not seek approvals  for every thing I do..I need not  pretend to be 'OK'all the time..I can feel sad  about things happening..I can tell how I actually felt about the loose comments people make on me ...without telling them.Although in real life also I do not bother much  but deep down I do feel offended in many ways,but I was never able to express in any possible  way..but now I can easily tell "My best friend,  My Diary". I  also do had a strong feeling that no body was really bothered also...
But now I am enjoying my freedom of expressing myself freely  and fully.. Sometimes what we actually  feel does not feel relevant to others..It is  possibly because thought process  of no two individuals  can be totally  same..I agree with this..we ordinary people often choose to not express or tell our feelings if we experience rude, unbothered or indifferent  behavior  from others.
The best thing about my best friend,my Diary is that I can clearly  pull my heart out,can say whatever I feel like saying..and surprisingly my silent listener will 100% agree with me ..😊😊😊Isn't  it delightful..that You really have somebody who never disagrees with you and  will always  have the patience  to hear you out any time of the day..And  bingo..it never complaints about anything..expects nothing..absorbs all negativity in our minds without passing a single abusive judgement..This makes me really understand why we all can become each others diaries..A life less diary can give you so much satisfaction  that nobody in the real word can ever give..It also gives a huge scope of introspection..that what have we become..all of us really..Think about it🤔🤔

My diary,my best friend ,Day 1

My diary,my best friend..

Namaste everyone,
My dearest diary ,the only real friend I have..Sounds strange but it is true..to the core..People will  be surprised  to hear this...As I have a full family life ,I have kids ,although I stay in a nuclear  family with my husband and two kids in Bangalore..I talk with my mother and with my  sister almost daily..I do have good neighbours also  and it appears that I do have a pretty normal life,and it is true also ..but the thing is about my thoughts  that continuously remind me of a unsuccessful life of mine and  that  bothers me, I lack a real purpose,but "everybody will be surprised  if I say I have nobody to talk to and I donot tell people what I actually feel but present a very fine version  that everything is pretty good.."
My mother will start scolding me if she somehow oneday reads it and will definitely  say that I am mad..Actually I am realĺy fed up of these superficial talks that say," Are You Ok" and the obvious anwer is ,"Ya , absolutely ".. 
I was always surprised  to see people being so socially  active ,they talk soo much..they may actually  feel free to talk ,They look attractive and good..They are very very active  on  Facebook  ,Instagram and WhatsApp...They share their personal life  on social media and feel comfortable about it..But on the other hand I never share anything on my social media accounts although I have them, for scrolling  into other people's  lives ...I donot have many photographs  of myself to change my DP daily ,some people change DPs hourly..I find it very strange..Its not that I am  telling them to stop because I donot do it ..But  I feel that they do live life and If they choose to or feel free to share it or even flaunt it that is absolutely  their choice..
But the thing that has started bothering me is , What is wrong with me?Why am I so introvert..Why can not I even change my DP ,may be because it will  allow people to judge how I look,how boring is my life if I share pictures on Facebook..Why am I  unable to express what I feel,what I really want..I donot know..
Actually  people around us also feel that our feeling like this is not at all important.. But now that I   have started writing  my diary,my only friend I really feel free now I have someone  to  talk to I donot have to sugar coat my feelings and expressions about things ,people and circumstances..It is surprising  , how I am expressing my feelings quite freely,as nobody is gonna judge me about my failed life so far..nobody will tell me that I am mad..about the way I feel about life , I  do  not have pretend  anything.. I need not fake my feelings..I have always felt ,Why I feel alone in crowd..I am looking for answers..my diary will help me find answers..😊😊

Why are we waiting for something to go terribly wrong with us??

Why are we waiting for something to go terribly  wrong  with us??

Namaste everyone ,

One  thing that disturbs me badly is.. why  we ordinary people  are not able to make a new start ,why are we so complacent  about ourselves..hum apne liye kuch karna kab start karenge.. kya hum kuch bahut galat hone ka wait kar rahne hain.. what are we waiting  for??"Are we waiting  for something to go terribly wrong??" Something very rude ,very insulting ,very demeaning.. reminding us of being worthless,fit for nothing...with no financial stability..no bank balance nowhere to go,as we become like ,we can not stand for a single day without others..  the list is endless...or we will try taking very very  little steps everyday for ourselves.
Take a simple example most people donot start working out or focussing on their health before they get real fat or their sugar levels go up or they start suffering from some disease...

Doing some thing that we love to do,we like..we feel happy about...we  feel complete doing... this is not the case that what we will  start to do  will start giving results  immediately... we will start earning  today itself  if we  are  doing it for financial  independence.. or  simply for feeling  fresh  and healthy.. goals can be different .... but we have to start... how much silly stupid senseless it may appear...but we have to make a start ,a new beginning..

That day should be today.. that time should be now...but gathering the courage is difficult  I know  I understand ,I have felt that.. we donot know the right direction to move ... initially even if we start,we can fail.i also failed..10 to 12 times..and finally I stopped  trying  in that particular  direction..did not do anything for months,  believing  that am not meant to do anything special or worthy for myself...Although I strongly believe  that I always give my best for others around me..but when ever it was  something  about myself I was not able to do anything..mere pass apne liye na hi time hai na motivation..
Over the years I have realised that even if want to do anything we are not fully equipped  to make a start..neither resources nor confidence..and moreover even if talk  about doing something new , even our closed ones feel disinterested ,  because of our past track record of failing most of the time...but the thing is without preparation,  we can not even pass a simple test..then how can we expect  to do great  without any proper  knowledge, practice and confidence and moreover we have left our studies  years ago..did not upgrade ourselves  for anything, never focused  on self grooming, self development or atleast having a hobby..These are the reasons for the failure  that we are facing today  , the main reason  being the lack of right attitude..no matter what ,just make a start..start learning something  new.. start

with making little changes in your daily schedule..so that you can atleast have 2 to 3 hours for ourselves...and then practice  practice  and practice , be consistent and patient and consistency  and patience is the key here...please ,please do not focus on results initially. it may take time.. but we all will be successful  for sure...😊😊

No time for our own selfs..

No time for our own selfs..

Namaste everyone..

Whenever we think we should start now, kahiin se toh start karte hain.. apni ruki hui si professional ya personal life ko,first thought that strikes our mind is.. "we donot have time.." arre humare paas toh time hi nai hai..kuch bhi naya  karne ka.. naya karna  toh door ki baat  hum log toh apne liye jo bahut jaroori bhi hota hai use bhi  karne ko talte rahte hain.. reason wahi.. ki , hamesha apni priorities ko apni family ki priorities se peeche rakhna..and is mei,  we do not do any favours.. aisa karna humein acha bhi lagta hai.. kyunki we do all this out of love and care for them... but  isi bhag daud  mei hum khud bahut peeche rah hate hain..hum apni life ko apni family par poori tarah  dependent  bana lete hain.. par actual mei hum aisa unke support system banne ke  liy karte hain ,taki woh log life mei   kuch ban payen ,kuch achieve kar saken..but hum ordinary logon ka kya  ??? 
Jo apni family apne bachon ko ordinary se extra ordinary banane mei lage rahte hain ,hamare sapne  bhi unki life successful banane ke liye hote hain.. hum ordinary logon ke sapne bhi hamare khud ke liy nai hote..aur is sab se humein khushi milti  hai..  aisa karne mei koi burai bhi nai hai.. par humein kuch hadh tak apne bare mei sochna hi padega..humein apni life ko koi real purpose dena hi hoga..jo humein real fulfillment  ki feeling dega, humein mentally strong banayega  and above all humein  har apne se jude logon ko aur better  way  mei emotionally and even financially  bhi support kar sakne ki  himmat  dega.. but of course road is not going to be easy...but we can start any time..... otherwise  kuch na achieve kar pane  ke sath sath yeh dukh  aur guilt rahega..ki kabhi kuch naya karne ya even sochne ki bhi koshish nai ki....😏😏

Failing the first selftest..all the time..

Failing the first selftest..all the time..

Namaste everyone..

Whenever we think of starting something new.. jab bhi kuch naya karne ka sochte hain.. hamara mind kya games khelta hai  hamare sath ... and apni is nai soch ko jo of course  abhi budding stage mei hi hoti hai.. sabse pahle  hum khud ke mind ke self test mei  hi  99% of the times fail kar dete hain.. kuch bhi naya kar pana kabhi bhi easy nai hota..apni comfort zone se bhar nikalna padta hai.. usse bhi pahle apne khud ke  mind mei , jo judgements chal rai hoti hain ,jo  mostly negative hi hoti hain.. un sab ko sideline karna padta hai.. jo kar pana hamare jaise ordinary  logon ke liye aasan nai hota .. maybe because hamara track record hi aisa raha hota hai..kabhi life  mei kuch achieve  hi nai kiya  hota.. poori zindgai  bus underconfident se ,shy se  bane rahte hain.. pata nai  kyun?? logon ki judgement  toh baad mei aayegi pahle apne aapko khud hi ek 'failure for life' maan ke chalte hain.. itna darte hain logon ki judgement  se jo of course  harsh hi hogi..  bahut kam hi supportive and positive hogi.. but iske liy hum kuch nai kar sakte ..but jo kar sakte hain woh yeh hai ki.. be little soft and supportive  to yourself also.. self pity khate rahna band karna hi padega.. agar sach mei kuch karna hai.. apne self test mei khud ko paas karvana padega..nahi toh aise hi chalte rahenge.. zindgai bhi chalti rahegi.. but hum apne minds mei kahin ruke se , stagnant se.. rah jayenge...
This mindset  is not healthy for anybody mentally nor physically..Something  needs to be done immediately..
We are not doing any good to any one by continuing  in this mental state..Being  like this we  all become easily  irritated , sad ,moody and silent  from within..We have to break this silence  ,we have to come out of the shell low self confidence and sense of unworthiness.. and for this start  feeling joyful of whst you are doing and start now..😊😊