Why Do We Feel Alone At The End Of The Day?

Feeling lonely at the end of the day...

Namaste everyone,
An average person  meets around 10,000 people in their life times...but fail to find a right person, a real friend, a faithful loving partner or a single person who loves them unconditionally...🤔🤔

Mostly people feel alone...they have no one to talk to,no one to share their feelings with..no one to tell what they are going through..or sometimes  even if we express what we are going through nobody bothers to pay any attention.... It is definitely  strange...but this has become  the harsh reality of today's  world where people have been replaced by gadgets and smartphones..

We feel as if we are strangers and we donot know much about each other because we are unable to open our heart in front of them..and same might be the case with them as well..despite of having so many people around us,even in the presence  of our known loved ones and family.. everybody on sometime or the other does feel lonely..

We are unable to express our feelings because deep inside us we always fear that others will judge us for being weak,stupid, silly , underconfident and therefore  a loser for life...
We feel lonely because we fear to make others part of our lives..we donot want them to know about our weaknesses or even strengths, we donot trust people around us ...
The reasons of not trusting people  are usually  the bad experiences of the past and mostly our own insecurities  about ourselves...
The thing is life can not be conducted  in this manner..feeling lonely  and depressed..Life is given to  us by God  as a gift ,we just can not waste it like this feeling sad,lonely  and depressed all the time..
This is true that many times at the end of the day,due to whatever good or bad happenings during a day  we feel lonely..but we can not adopt loneliness  as our habit and slowly  slip into the hands of depression..with each passing  day..
Nowdays  people have stopped giving importance  to feelings,even the family members donot have time for each other...Real friends   have also become  rare and friends  with benefits  are common..
In the absence  of  a strong relationship  actually  people start feeling  weak within themselves..although  they donot tell what they are going through..but the reason is obvious..Without friends,  family and our partners life seems to be nothing..
Materialistic things can never replace human relationships...
These materialistic desires can keep us busy a whole day..and leave us alone at the end of the day with nobody whom we really love and care for..When we start feeling lonely materialistic things start losing their importance...Although  I am myself  a strong  believer  that without money and materialistic things even strong relationships get into troubles.. and sometimes  even donot last longer..but without our loved ones and family  financial success loses all meaning..It appears worthless...
Dear readers,We feel lonely because many a times we are extremely dissatisfied  and disappointed with the world and people around us..but when we look at our strong relationships ,our real support..all the problems of the world appear to vanish and we get a new energy to deal with all circumstances  with much more courage and confidence..We have to create  a delicate balance between the emotional and financial  needs of life..This is the only solution to avoid loneliness in our life 💞.

Expectations from relationships....

Our Expectations from Relationships

Namaste everyone, 

In today's world people expect a lot of things from other people(the ordinary foolish ones )  whose expectations they never  bothered  or even tried to fulfil  but expected full commitment from others as their  right..

This thought keeps disturbing me ,"I am never good at meeting my own expectations from me but quite exceptional at meeting expectations of others from me.Strange but true..😂😂.."

Life has been quite strange as far as distribution of equal responsibilities on  expectations  of people from each other ..Everybody will agree on the fact that people usually expect more but put least efforts in fulfilling  other people's expectations.....

A relationship  is responsibility of both the individuals involved..but over burdening any one is not at all justified..but we forget that this overburden will eventually result in frustrations ,anxiety and disspointments..These are no healthy or positive signs for a longlasting  relationship..I wonder why people donot  value their relationships and continue to devalue them.. never prioritise them..and more importantly continue to take them for granted...as if the other partner is their some kind of emotional slave or something similar..

In this illusion that all relationships will somehow continue as the  other person is ordinary, weak and a  emotional fool ... despite of you being selfish ,indifferent , disrespectful and ungrateful.. even  very very important and strong relationships end or lose their charm and eternity...

Dear readers,Pardon me if I sound rude..but I personally donot want anybody to misuse their relationships in any sense...Because we donot have any idea about how severely we are damaging the self esteem and confidence of our weaker counterpart...How come people that love us the most, care for us the most and prioritize us before their ownselves..??We end up hurting them badly...just because ,We  donot care...and take them for granted...🤔🤔😕

I need Wings to fly...

Namaste everyone,
"I need wings to fly ,I need them,I may not say  it directly to anyone but I do need them..."

This is what I was feeling deep down ,every day and night ...every moment ...I am sure ordinary people like me do share this state of mind ...at atleast at some moment in their  lives...
We were deep down desperately waiting for something to click..but the thing was everything was really imaginative...neither we ever had the confidence  nor the courage  to make a new start...
We were in need for something of our own....the thing we really owned,the thing that we earned..the thing that was totally our own brain child, some thing worth for us to be proud for  first and then wanted to make others  proud too..this was and has always  been our intention...
We  have the feeling of a failed life (as it was appearing to be so..)...We lack purpose ,the eternal  feeling of  accomplishment of our own  is major miss in our lives...
We want to dream ,we want to fly but never had wings...wings of self confidence,wings of positivity...wings of hardwork...wings of  realization  of self worth..wings of thoughts that we can do it..wings of being fearless of failure...wings of freedom from judgements from others ...
Growing all the above wings are not at all easy for ordinary people but  one thing is sure that they can be developed...these wings require continous hard work and a belief  that we can achieve  what we aspire for in life...it will not happen in a single day but continous nurturing of our wings with knowledge, positivity and diligence, conversion of dreams into reality is definitely  assured..soo donot stop trying..donot stop dreaming...
"Wings to fly are not given by others ,we have to grow them..with  never ending efforts and preservance.."
One most important thing that still bothers me is..stop depending on others  to give you wings to fly..they will never or I should say they can never give the full strength  for our development..stop  expecting this from others...they can help us in some possible ways..but can not walk the whole way for us...this is our journey..a journey for self fulfillment..self development..in search of a real purpose, so it should we owned by us completely, we should be totally responsible  for it..so start dreaming , start flying....😇😇😊😊

Gratitude,Gave me a sigh of Relief. 

Namaste Everyone, 

Every body nowdays talks about Gratitude.I used to think I am not successful in any possible sense..I am pretty average or may be below average..in everything I have..I am not  professionally successful..I belong to a normal family..I am not super talented or even talented in some sense.. I don't own a legacy or family fortune..What should I be thank

ful for??What is this Gratitude?It is the sense of being thankful or having a sense of appreciation for things we already have or given to us somehow..

GRATITUDE... If we start feeling it, Feeling it from the Heart ..Our own rage against our own life starts to calm down.

When Nothing Else seems to work..and We  are surrounded by darkness of Failures...We feel Lost..We feel failed.It really gives a sigh of relief...Like Feeling Freah air...Like feeling Rain..Like feeling waves  at a  Quite beach ..This can go to the extent that  the only thing thankful for can be ,"Being still Alive"..It gives us hope to somehow continue. 

I may sound little sarcastic ,sad or depressed which I am...but this tiny feeling of Gratitude is helping me to  continue and It is a fact ...at least for me.. 

Dear Readers ,try being thankful for tiniest things in your life that you really feel thankful for..and then just for a minute think of people that Even don't  have that..Suddenly things will start falling into place..You will start feeling hopeful that whatever mess is there in your life  that can be cleared..things will work out..It  is just a matter of time..

It  definitely makes us compassionate and fills us with empathy..It calms us and our disturbed mind because we start having the feeling that we also have  atleast something..

Some times we all are going to some phases in life where nothing much is in our hands..What else is our way out ..I myself used to get irritated, annoyed,sad and disappointed when nothing works out..Things get ugly..Be it in Relationships or in professional lives...But when We start looking  at a the thin yet bright silver lining around the dark cloud..

Dear Readers  ,I am not saying it is easy to see..But one thing that am sure is that It is there..But our disillusioned mind could not see it..or feel it..

It is definitely because of repeated failures at personal or professional fronts..but we  forget that Life Goes on..It doesn't not stop for us feeling sad about it..So why not look for things that make us feel alive and significant in some possible way..makes us feel happy..in what we really want to do and not we are forced to do... Such things exist in everyone's life .Some see it ,some don't..People who are able to identify the little little yet the most significant things in  life ,live life to the fullest and others just  kept complaining and simply  waited for life to just pass by..and expected miracles to happen..which never happen  and they  continue to live in their mindmade shells forever ..I have myself spent years in this mindmade shell of mine..And many of us still continue to do so..

Dear Readers, Please Don't waste your lives ,There is no age  or perfect timing for  making a fresh start...Just make a start ...

Why other people's opinion matter so much..?

Why other people's Opinions  matter so much..?

Namaste everyone,
We live with so many people around us,some like us  may be some donot..Similarly  we also like some and dislike others..or mostly for many people around us they are least bothered about our aspirations  but we are very much bothered  about their opinion about us..🤔🤔
But this thing is for sure..What they think about us, we exactly donot know but form so many assumptions  about it ,and sometimes  feel amazed with their positive responses  and when we get a negative response we get depressed or even a slightest  hint that they have something bad for  us irritates us  and disturbs  our mental peace..
We all are social people  and opinions  of others around us do affect us..
Controlling our emotions and reactions towards what others do to us and think of us is not a easy thing to master...but we have to master it  there  is no other way...

If we are really serious  about what we really want to achieve  or become in life..others opinions should  never have bothered us...
Specifically for ordinary  people with very low selfconfidence and a lot of insecurities ,it's really not easy...the only way out is to be not bothered ....but most of us including  myself do the opposite..We feel unimportant,we feel unworthy ,we feel unfit ,we feel annoyed ,we feel disappointed, we feel restless...we actually  feel all the negative thoughts disturbing  over mental peace totally...
The way out of this mess is the belief that other people's  opinion  doesnot  define us...
It was nothing related to them...They never know what we went through  or still going through..It is our journey...Their negativity  has nothing to do with our goals..but we ourselves  give them so much importance  that things that should be ignored completely take so much importance  in our minds that they start impacting our mental state and even our goals...
Other people never knew: What we exactly go through?? What are our feelings..??What are our aspirations...??What are our real dreams..??But they judged us on our failures but  they fail to see our efforts...
I personally  feel we should  not be much affected by their appreciations as well..they are as temporary  as their judgements that keep on moving up and down depending  upon our achievements in life..
Other people's  opinion feeds on our importance  given to them..more we give them attention  more big they become...and start affecting us badly..making us weak and fragile..
Dear readers ,we have to make choices here..Are we ready to compromise  our dreams only because  some people around us donot appreciate us ,donot  give any or even little importance to our dreams or even donot believe  that we can achieve  anything in life... their negative or positive comments  should decide the direction of our life???Are they the drivers of our lives..??Are we so much dependent  upon their  approvals  that we can not even take a step forward without it..????
The thing is  we ordinary  people usually make a lot of sacrifices, be it our dreams ,aspirations  or feelings..We do it out of love and sometimes as a responsibility but changing our life's path by only fearing judgements  from others or their opinions about us is not at all good for  the emotional health of a ordinary person..These fears  may not show any side effects  immediately  but with due course  of time...It will definitely  lower our moral ,It will deviate  us from what we truly  want to do, It will clearly indicate  a weak personality  filled with insecurities...and of course  a under confident  individual... But also these people who judged us badly way back on our endeavors,will be the ones who will label us failures for life...
The thing is, there  is never much strength  in anybody's  opinion  about us to stop us from following  what we really aspire for...it is all about our own weaknesses...for sure..Stop blaming others  for your failures...
We should  rather use their judgements  as loop holes in us and try to improve  further but no way stop...We should  work even much more  harder because  it is about  our dream...😇😇and our dream is important  to us...you can also go through  the following  post that describes  how important  our dream is for us👇👇
https://myheartfultalks.blogspot.com/2020/07/my-dream-is-important-to-me.html

Can we forgive  and forget?

Namaste everyone,

We all have experienced things done by people around us intentionally or unintentionally  that hurt us in some way or the other..

As a  simple and ordinary person and not having a successful  and busy professional life  we are mostly dependent on our relationships..and are very pure towards our feelings towards them.. We expect a lot from our relationships as we are totally committed  towards our relationships...

We have heard that forgiving people gives us immense peace and satisfaction..It may be true for some very big hearted people but not for ordinary people like us..This is my personal  opinion..Some may agree and some others will definitely disagree... Forgiving and forgetting comes into picture when we have to some how continue with the same person or people even after they committed things to us that were noway acceptable that too multiple times..... 

In our day to day lives we usually forgive each other for doing things that are usually done unknowingly or unintentionally...I accept that and am also in favour of forgiving when someone does something  wrong unintentionally or unknowingly...

My major concern is about people very close to us and when they hurt us that too multiple  times I don't see any justification in forgiving them...Actually  it was very difficult  for ordinary people like us to let others even  know that we will never forgive and forget the wrong doings  they did to us..Reasons being :

1.They were very close  to us ...

2.We ourselves never had the courage to express what we actually  felt about their behaviour towards us.

3.They were very important to us..

4.We kept ourselves in a illusion that we are also important  to them..

5.We thought we won't  be able to survive without them..

6.We will feel emotionally weak and alone without them..

7.We fear losing them , if we will tell them what we are exactly feeling about them..

8.Our relationship  will end..

9.We don't want to hurt them even when they are continuously hurting us.

10.We blame our ownselves  for other people's rudeness or indifferent behaviour.

11.We feel helpless and underconfident without them..

12.We loved them truly..

The list is endless..But one important  inference that we get from all above reasons is that I personally feel it is our own emotional weaknesses and insecurities that were responsible for making us tolerate behaviour that was not even forgivable or tolerable or even slightly acceptable .. I very well know we fall into relationships and want to continue out of love only ..There is no other reason but sometimes (am not saying all the time or all the people) people use their relationships  for their selfish motives and fake their emotions for the same..But one day or the other the other person  will definitely  realise the fact that there is only selfishness and no love..Infact love was never there..In that case ,I see no way out  in forgiving such people or forgetting their wrong doings to us..Atleast it is impossible  for totally committed ordinary people for whom relationships  are the only things they have..Relationships are our strength ,our motivation and purpose of life..

Deep down I also know it is very difficult to implement but we have to get out of it first emotionally and mentally.. Then only we will be able atleast protect ourselves  from this never ending emotional abuse..More importantly we are not the revenge seeker types..so atleast getting out of a failed relationship is our only saviour. 

The whole thing revolved around the fact that even after knowing something was definitely going wrong but many a times we ignored and somehow tried to drag the relationship...We were fair towards the relationship but not towards our ownselves...

Dear readers ,in my opinion instead of forgiving and forgetting what bad others did to us, for their whatever own selfish motives , we should gather courage and mental strength  to not only throw such people out of our lives but also out of our minds... Otherwise we won't be able to come out of this emotional mess and we will be  dragging ourselves again into it..and will not be able to start  a new life ...We have to  be strong enough  to accept that  although something wrong people did to us..but we can not allow its repercussions to haunt us all our lives...We have  to make a fresh start...with lessons learnt..👍👍.

 Finding myself in this chaos of life...

Namaste everyone, 

What kind of mindset I have??

I mostly  felt sad, failed, uncomfortable, surprised,confused , insecure, underconfident, restless, purposeless and ordinary..but there was no way out of this..Chaos of life is overpowering me , now even important life events  underwhelm me..I feel lonely...Don't  want to share any feelings  with anybody..

 Dear readers,I have felt the above feelings and many ordinary people may have felt the same or still feeling the same way.. Reasons  for these feelings are both external and internal...but the thing that I also realised  very lately was that  our external envionment and things done to us by other people is not in our control ,they anytime unexpectedly  hurt us but how we felt from inside was the only thing important . It was our reactions to the external stimuli  that made our situations worst ,We failed to realise this basic fact and continued to live a depressed life...

I was myself never important to myself neither my aspirations..I felt no purpose and more importantly I  felt unworthy for any damn little thing...

Dear readers ,This above mindset is not at all good,You shouldn't fall into this trap of negative feelings and complexes ,they will not take us anywhere but simply drag us deep down into feelings of more and more worthless.. And surely we become worthless and purposeless with passing  time because we are not at all doing anything except for cursing ourselves and our negative situation... We have to get out of this negativity because it is not real but life is real and precious ...We just can not waste it ,sitting idle and thinking thoughts of unworthines and loneliness...

Work on yourself ,try to keep yourself  busy in things you really want to do,It doesnot matter how insignificant and silly it appears to others... While you are in transition state of coming out of dark zone and just beginning or I should say thinking of starting something new donot judge yourself so early and donot rush looking for results..Give yourself time and you can easily see imporovement with each passing day..Most importantly keep a check on yourselves donot let any negative feelings overpower you..

This sense of a failed life that we always had will definitely  begin to vanish with each passing day as you start focussing on yourself and your dream...Of course this will take time..but atleast you will be moving ahead and will not be  anymore stuck in your mindmade pool of negativity and sense of unworthiness..

Dear Readers , It's extremely  difficult to find a tiniest possible  peaceful space that only  belongs to you in this world unless you continue to live without any focus on yourself and your dreams..Think about It..Donot waste your lives....You are not Late, Just start..

 My life,without me

Namaste everyone, 

"Seems strange and annoying  but is a truth that we ordinary people live a life that is purposeless but more importantly we live a life that has nothing to do with us or our aspirations..."

"Am I  living a life, without me?"Looking for answers of strange questions like this disappoints us but usually we are not able to find a way out..

Strange but absolutely true,this has been our only way of life..Nothing bothered us initially..Living a life that has nothing to do with ourselves will sooner or later result in big void in our own lifes.. Think about it..🤔

Sometimes we get natural realisations and many times we get forced realisations by others that keep on reminding us of our purposeless ordinary life..

"When it is self realisation it is not as painful and insulting as it is when people undermine us,insult us or abuse us or fail to recognize our contributions because usually people value and respect monetary contributions  by others in their lives.."

Dear readers,"Time will fly away ,years will pass..Start valuing yourself... Nobody else can do it for you....Following a dream, doing what you really love to do and feeling happy doing it,is no way acting selfish.."

We just have to  start making efforts on self grooming and development..We have to move with the time, we never improved or worked on ourselves for years altogether,we are still with our qualifications and skills that we acquired years back..So it clearly indicates we are incompetent and incompatible according to today's world..but if we have decided to restart and we are serious about our dream and our dream is important to us , instead of judging ourselves harshly we should start working on own ourselves...

Working on ourselves  requires a lot of effort and determination.. In addition to this we have to get ready for the harsh judgements of the world and fears of failure...Because we have been inactive professionally and have been living a pretty ordinary and simple life without any aspirations or dreams..We never thought we are capable  enough..This thought was the only major hurdle in the way of our own dreams as per my experience and thought...

Strong Determination is the only  thing that can drive us  to our goal..Commitment and  a desire to prove ourselves to our own expectations and then to the world can imbibe immense energy and motivation in us...😇😇👍👍.

You can  read my below post as well for the importance of having a dream in life.My Dream is Important To me.

Alone as always....

Namaste everyone,
I know something wrong is definitely  going on in our heads..when we start having this feeling that we are "Alone as Always..."
Life is full of failures and disappointments for weak and underconfident  people..It's a truth and I have felt it...but some how we continue...but actually we are not achieving anything ,not even reaching anywhere.. It appears as if we are simply wasting time and our own precious life doing nothing. We are just passing time by wasting it..
Sometimes this stagnant life of ours makes us  feel like a unfit for the world..We start feeling lonely...
Alone as always ,becomes our life mantra..These saddening thoughts keep on coming and we keep on demeaning our ownselves unless and untill we take real charge  of our lives...
Dear readers, life is not meant to be wasted, living a purposeless, meaningless life..I have been through  this feeling  of lacking the real purpose  in life for years...For simple ordinary people like me it is  not something  uncommon...
It's  not that we are suffering  or any thing like that..but a weird feeling that bothers us is  that ,What is our own worth ?What are  we good at?What have we really earned in life? What is the purpose of our life?

Answers to all the above questions  is nothing... absolutely nothing..😕😕
I know it is not easy to accept a pretty much failed life and getting along with it, is not easy.. sometimes we spend years without realizing  it like dumbs,  but once this feeling of unworthiness crops up in our minds, it really makes us very helpless and restless..
But instead to slipping into these depressing thoughts we have to somehow get over it..We have to start doing something fruitful.. something that  makes us happy,contented and little more confident about ourselves..
Working on ourselves ,working on our interests, and enhancing them is the only way out..It will definitely  not happen suddenly but if we will not start, it will never happen for sure..It's  difficult, very difficult..I admit it but not impossible...On our way we feel Alone as always...but slowly  and gradually with some simplest yet brightest feelings of accomplishments  will fulfill all the emptiness... within us..with continuous hard work and not loosing hope on ourselves...
Forget about the world it was us who were really responsible for our  own downfall,we ourselves left our own aspirations, desires and dreams far behind in life...
It is also true that we all are alone in our struggles...but we have to gather courage not for anybody else butfor  our own selves...😇😇
I personally  feel restarting after many years and living a simple purposeless life makes us so very underconfident  that we feel so hesitant to share our own thoughts ,feelings  and aspirations   with anybody else..Fear of failure and again going back to our stagnant,   monotonous and purposeless life scares us..because  believe me restarting was very difficult  for a ordinary  person like me... and we are no way mentally ready to face  failures again... at this point I  may not have achieved  anything,but hope is still alive..and I am putting  efforts..Hoping that my readers will relate to this.💞

Handling rejections in Life...

Handling  rejections in Life...
Namaste  everyone,
We all are living a social life,with people around us..so many things  are happening  around us on daily basis with each passing  moment.... 

Multiple thoughts are in our heads going on simultaneously....
Some things work out for us ,some don't..Some people like us ,some don't..We like some..and dislike some others..We want something but get something  else mostly..We love very few and very very  few love us..We are really important  to very few..and similarly  for us also very few are actually  important....We expect something ,get something  unexpected..With happiness  ,sorrows, failures and very little success , life goes on  and on. Days pass ,months pass and so does years...

One very important  realization  that I had as a result of my own purposeless ordinary and non aspirational  life is with all the chaos going on in life ,we all some how continue..but.. but..but..the thing that really derails our spirit  to live a normal life  are rejections...
Rejections,be it in our love life ,in our professional life ,be it in academics..be it in any thing...that matters  for us...it is  really hard to absorb...
Nobody likes to be rejected...It feels as such an insult that it totally shatters our self esteem  and confidence...We feel unworthy...disspointed..lost...It definitely  hits hard...It shatters our own belief  that, We can also achieve  something..We can also dream..Dreams do come true...
Mostly when we get rejected we donot want to face the world..Mostly with ordinary  people handling rejection is definitely  a total disaster..All our fears appear to come true...All our fears that stopped us all our lives from doing what we really wanted to achieve, start appearing  to be absolutely true..Its not easy...
We tried hard..We expected something for ourselves..We expected to fulfill our dream for the first time in life..We are ordinary people ...Facing rejection is not easy for us or anybody in this world...
I know it is very easy to preach that we have to start again ,we can not lose hope..we have to work much more harder..but "I am really falling short of words to explain  the worst feelings of getting rejected and that too multiple times..I am finding it damn difficult to get over it.."
Dear readers, Its not that rejections are not common, we all get rejected  in one thing or the other..and we all do carry on as well..but without anything substantial that we can relate to  or I should say without anything that belongs to us or is purely  our own achievement continue to follow  your dream is teally difficult..It is a ferocious mental struggle..that we ordinary  people continue to battle all our lives..😕😕 I know  these feelings of rejection are not easy to handle..Rejections  are demotivating to the extent that  they  have definitely  stopped many many deserving and talented people  from following  their dream..But we have chosen not to stop ,to carry on..I know it is becoming  more and more difficult  with each rejection that we get..but somehow we will gather all the shattered  pieces  of our dreams and continue  to follow our dream..which is important  to us..
You can read this post for the importance  of our dream in our lifes..my-dream-is-important-to-me.html

You can also go through  my below post about how long we should wait to get  success 👇👇how-long-we-should-wait-to-get-success.html

How to Deal With Our Own Weaknesses..?

Dealing  with our own  weaknesses..

Namaste everyone,

Our life  can easily be summarized as a result of  how we conquered  our own weaknesses...

Ordinary people are usually not able to control their emotions that further turns into their weakness...
Being emotional is not a problem but being a emotional fool is a real problem..Having empathy for others,loving them,caring for them ,doing them favours..is not at all bad ..but things become out of control when we allow people to  use us for their own selfish motives that too at the stake of harming us in some possible way. In the way of using ordinary people some  selfish  ones not only hurt  them emotionally  but can also cause financial  damage..
Usually  we are attached to people  whom we love,be it family or friends..we have emotional connections  with them ..we are of course  emotionally  dependent  on them as well...but always remember  there is a very thin line between being used and helping someone.
We can not be simply blind in love or due to whatever emotional  reason.. and  allow others to use us to the extent they start  hurting us mentally..
"Emotions are for something that we really feel from the heart..they are heartful..there is no space of selfishness  in relationships  that are based on love and trust.."
Being  an emotional human being  is not the trait of a weak person..but when we allow people to use us for their selfish  motives and we continue  to allow them without any regret ,this is not our weakness but  shear foolishness..
Favours  are done amongst people out of love and friendship..
Having a empathy  or rather a soft corner for people is not a weakness but misusing other people's emotions is of  course  an offence..
We have to deal with it with self confidence..we allow people to misuse us or ill treat us or disrespect  us or reject us only because we easily revealed  to them that we are weak deep within and will not be able to do without them..This show off of our weakness allows people to treat us the way they want depending upon their needs or even moods..
   One very very important  point to be noted here is what are  reasons for ordinary  people being so emotionally weak, foolish , underconfident and insecure that some people are easily able to use  them and throw  them as per their  discretion..
The thing is they used us for whatever  selfish  reasons  of their's, still we were useful to them  in some possible way..we never used them,we simply  loved them and did favours out of a relationship that we  shared with them..Now if and only if we  decide to confidently  deal with our weaknesses...the other  selfish  person is and was never of any use to us..So quiting becomes the easiest, think about it..🤔🤔🤔

Why Everybody Is Faking Around?

Everybody is faking around….

Namaste everyone, 

What is happening all around us in terms of emotional turbulences is so detrimental that we all on day to day basis appear dissatisfied , disappointed and sometimes saddened as well..

Nobody appears  happy...Everybody  looks fed up, tired and lost in some sense..Everybody is so... so.. fed up but nobody wants to work on the solution..

"Everybody  is faking around...hiding their fears,  insecurities,disappointments, aspirations,weaknesses and many a times sadness...They pretend to be happy... Everybody is OK...but from  inside all are torn out.."

We all are stuck in the web of expectations ,some from others and some from our ownselves..When these expectations are somehow not met.. life and people around us stop making sense...

Dear readers,to move forward in life we have to stop pretending or faking ...We just have to first accept our own personality as we are, with no manipulations...We have to identify our own weaknesses and strengths.....We can not just fool around our inner own self..Because pretending something that we are actually  not can never take us anywhere we really want to reach....It may help to exist in society for some time..But with time everybody's true self  appears ...So why can't we always be what we really are..and Express what we really feel..So that relationships made and commitments done in every aspect  of life are based on purity and truth...thus are longlasting....

Dear readers,What others think of us should  no way bother us ,if we are  not insecure from within and our intentions are pure...Stop being the victim of your own assumptions about ourself from other's perspective...It does not matter at all...If you are true to yourself..

Try following things..

1.Be vocal about your feelings. 

2.Donot offend or abuse anybody in the name of proving your point..

3.Accept your weaknesses...first. 

4.Donot get affected by other people's comments or point of views about you..Be it positive or negative..

5.Donot seek approvals  for everything you do..

6.Own your actions..

7.Work hard on improving yourself and not on simply proving your point to others..

8.Do things that you yourself like or love to do and not to please others.

9.Donot forget to complete your responsibilities in the name of following your dream..

10.Donot lose hope if you get failures or harsh judgements from others .

11.Donot demean yourselves nor others by your actions or words..

12.Stop 

12.Be committed to yourself and your dream..

13.Donot be led by others point of view but you can take guidance..There is no harm in seeking help..But 100% dependence on others for everything is not acceptable..

14.Stop pretending..

15.Accept life as it is, donot jump to conclusions based on your fears and insecurities..

16.Always move forward,stop living in the past and judging yourself  on the basis of your past..

17.Help others in whatever possible way you can..

18.Distance yourselves  from all negativity be it about yourself or even other people.

19.Keep on improving your skill set..

20.Work  on self grooming and  self improvement..

Nothing is impossible, take the first step..Your pure commitment and hard work will guide you further..😇👍

 

Why I am Still Unchanged ?

Unchanged me...

 Namaste everyone,

Thank God ,time did not change me..The only thing that was left unchanged with time was me.Life's ups and downs never changed me in the sense that ....

1.I never stopped trusting people...

2.I never stopped Giving my best to them...

3.I always kept Choosing other's priorities over mine..

4.I Never betrayed anyone..

5.Always I was ready for help..

6.Doing favours and not asking anything in return was my way....

7.I Never expressed myself. I never let people know how I really felt...

8.Always available attitude of mine..

9.I have  never been  disrespectful to anyone..

10. I was always been  the simple,ordinary me that always wished good for everyone..Always prayed that I donot want to hurt anyone intentionally or even unintentionally...

11.Always adjusting  even if required sacrificing my own interest..

12.Never asked for favours from anybody nor even expressed my desires..

13.Nil expectations from others..The only thing expected was respect and honesty...

14.Never had a dream for myself..

15.Never raised my voice against anybody..

My personality traits donot seem to fit in today's so called successful world..Some people might see this as a flaw in my personality and that I was foolish,naive and underconfident  but for  me these above things mentioned were my strengths but irony is my strengths could never made me successful more importantly I never changed with time..

I personally never agree nor I give  any attention to other's thought process and perception about me ,It is my nature..I donot want to change...but One thing  that I totally lacked and regret is that ,"I never had a dream of my own,I was always OK being average,I never recognized or realized that I was living a purposeless life and was not at all motivated to achieve anything in life...This was indeed the biggest blunder I did to myself..."

Change is difficult but it is definitely inevitable ...

Changing for good , mending your ways ,improving  and learning with each passing day adapting to new environment is not easy for ordinary people but it is the thing we should definitely opt for..This is the need..As lately I also recognized our older ,ordinary and simpler versions donot fit in today's world.. 

The world where people value each other,give 100% to each other only out of love... Honesty ,integrity and commitment were the things people looked for in each other no more exist..It's not that every body is bad but selfishness has definitely taken over selflessness.. Priorities have changed..

After so many personal and professional  failures ,still ordinary people like me find it difficult to change..

Dear readers,I am never in favour of changing your personality  for the sake of fitting into the world but becoming strong and confident enough to face the world is inevitable...In absence of self confidence and atleast the courage to stand on your own be it professionally or personally you will continue to live a miserable and purposeless life..And this is a fact ...

The only way that may work for ordinary  people like me is to 

1.Work harder and harder  without losing hope

2. Focus on Self improvement and grooming in terms of improving our skill set.

3.Maintaining a positive mindset and hanging on, no matter what.. is the only way out..

As I personally feel we can not change inside out..We can improve and learn but we can not change our basic  nature....So ,Dear readers, Please donot change for the sake of others or for fitting in...but do improve and work upon your strengths...😇👍

"My dream is important  to me.."

Namaste everyone...

I  have started  focusing  on my own small dream that completely belongs to me... It's  been two months now. Never before in my own life I realised that  a ordinary person like me can dare to have a dream of my own...Still seems surprising  to me..sometimes I  even feel of letting it go,I do feel scared..I also do feel very nervous because  I am  not getting expected results till date...then I  have to fight against  my own negative thoughts  and shout out loud reminding myself  that,"My dream is important  to me , I am all about my dream now .." 

I do not know what people will think or how they will  react when they will realise that a person like me can even have a dream of my own...It will be unbelievable  for many ,even for people very close to me.. mainly  because  over the years they have never seen me focusing  on myself in any possible way...

This change in me is not at all sudden as far as my inner feelings  are concerned..but it may appear sudden for people around me.As I have never been expressive  regarding my own feelings to others..I never say what I feel or want..Over the years I developed  a strong sense of unworthiness ..I was fit for nothing fellow in my own eyes...may be for others also..

I was struggling  in my own head..I had nothing that I really own..Daily I was asking God what is my worth...What is my  real purpose...
I  am having a lot of responsibilities  as  a mother of two kids and a wife ..I am a complete  family person.
But I was never responsible  for my own self..I  am dependent  on my family for everything..be it emotional  or financial... I have always been a weak and vulnerable  person..My  strong feelings of unworthiness  has nothing to do with my family..I donot know why , but my dream is growing roots deep within my mind ....Sometimes  I think it is driven by  the thought of proving myself to others and most importantly  to myself..."There is a lot of positivity  in my dream..I dream of really making my kids proud ,this feeling fills me with enthusiasm and zeal to move forward."

I am feeling hungry  for things that elevate  my self esteem and confidence...

I feel lonely..I may be suffering  from some kind  of depression..I don't know...I  may appear funny to people that know  me..They will be asking..what is wrong  in my mind ..I may appear a fool as they will judge me for following  my dream despite  having a wonderful life...

But they will definitely  not realise that ,Now my dream is important to me...I am going to follow it no matter what...😊😊😊😇😇

I will not allow people to tell me that " my silly dream will not be successful..as  usual.As I am a family person..I  have turned so dumb over the years that I won't  be successful  in whatever I will start ...and moreover there is no need for me to start anything new..It will be a time and effort wastage.."

All these things are not going to effect  me in any possible manner because my determination  is not weak  now as it used to be.."My dream is important as  anybody else's is..I may fail but I will not stop working hard on it..Turning  dreams into reality might be difficult  but not impossible.."😇😇

Why are we  not ready to change or adapt...

Namaste everyone,
Why are we not ready to change or adapt??
In case of people with ordinary average  lives..this is quite a common trait..I personally  agree to this..Change is not easy for ordinary people..because we have  always  been living in a small shell where we continue  to live as underconfident ,introvert ,talentless individuals  who cannot dream  or dare to do  something  new ..
"The reason is obvious we fear to fail and so we never want to expose ourselves to the judgements of the world..."

Fear of failure is so much imbibed  in us that we are not able to adapt to any changes in our life or even small things in our daily routines..
Before starting the thoughts of routine changes in our life style (those are just superficial  changes)..but we are so insecure deep within that we can not even do that..Forget about the real changes we need to do to our pessimistic  mindset..
I personally feel we never ever focussed on self development. We always had  the mindset that nothing should  be changed..so that the dull purposeless life of ours continues seamlessly..
We have always been so much afraid to change  that although  we feel restless and anxious  deep within but are unable to change..To bring any  positive  changes to life or to improve our living standards  both financially and emotionally does  require a lot of effort and inner urge to achieve..
We want to achieve  things, if we get it some how by God's  grace or by other people's  effort..we can not do anything..because we keep on reminding ourselves  that even if we try we are going to fail,so instead of losing and getting self embarrassment, we never even try to start  or at least participate in something that requires changes within us as well as our environment  or daily routines..
We have to just  start  with a new thought..we have to take little time from our own lives for ourselves..we have to work on self growth..we have to learn something..we have to follow the dream that we buried deep within ourselves  just because we never gathered the courage  to pursue it..may be circumstances also did not favour us at that time...but stop bothering  about them now.. we have to be better then the previous  versions of ourselves..The goal is achievable..we have weaknesses..we are not the best ..we  shall from now onwards never stop ..we will become  better with each passing day..I also agree  these changes in our mindsets and external  environment will definitely  not be easy.. but there  is no way out.. We have to take ourselves out of this  feeling of being unworthy  or having a failed life...It may have been ,but is definitely not  going  to be like this..because  hard work and things done truly  from the heart always work😊😊😊.

 Follow Your Dream..

Namaste  everyone, 

This post is a collection of some quote's reels . HOPE u like it and relate..

 Why can't we agree to disagree??

Namaste everyone,

In our day to day lives,we have a lot of disagreements with people around us, be it our closed ones also but that noway means that we hate them as well..This thing or I should say thought is not as simple as it appears..

We usually mix disagreements with hate  and disrespect or sometimes even disregard for each other...but the thing is ,

If I like red and you like blue...It noway indicates that blue is  a  bad color and I should start to hate you ,because you donot like what  I like..This simple thought helped me identify a major reason that acted  as a deterrent in relationships...

As partners or as any two individuals it is a 100% possibility that our point of views can not fully match..We will  agree on somethings and disagree on others..We  actually fail to  respect or even recognize each other's opinions and try to force our's onto them...This forceful behaviour can last for sometime...but its not healthy,it's not legitimate.. It is in fact disrespectful and even sometimes disturbing for one of the partner and he or she starts feeling underconfident and insecure because their opinion doesnot matter and  even if they gather courage to express it ,It results in a rift or a bad fight or quarrel between the two individuals...

It is the  trait of some dominating individuals that they want their opinion only to matter without even giving slightest regard to what their partners feel and want to say..

To agree on each other's disagreements is not that difficult, if we  respect and trust each other completely..It is but obvious that one person's insecurities regarding disagreements on a particular thing results in a quarrel or  I should say some kind of rift between  the two individuals...

Dear readers,I personally feel we should give full freedom  to our partners to express themselves fully.. so that we very well know what is exactly going on in their heads and how exactly they are feelings..What is  our partner's view on a particular thing that affects our lives is definitely important..So how can we ignore it or even disregard it...One important point here is that if we are giving enough space to our partner's point of view and respect it ,the same behaviour is also expected from them as well...Because in relationships everything is mutual...The responsibility of the past ,present and future of a relationship lies on the shoulders of both the individuals and noway on any one of them...

I have seen a different  side of many people in relationships, because usually people fail to acknowledge or understand other person's feelings and fears...

Dear readers,Why can't we act as support system for our partners or for that matter everybody we come in contact with..

Always give enough space for even your naturally introvert or under confident  partner to flourish.. Act  as a positive support,be real and respectful....With unconditional support and love, you can definitely make your some how weak partner do wonders and achieve his or her dream..Be a constant support system...This is what is expected...

The irresponsible behaviour of one of the partner be like 

1.Taking the other for granted..

2. Misunderstanding  the other all the time..

3. Disrespecting  the other partner..

4. Occupying the personal space of the other forcefully..

5. Giving zero or very very little importance to other's point of view..

6. Prioritising yourself on your partner..

7. Giving high importance to your career and goals and giving  negligible importance to your partner's ambitions and regarding them as useless..

8. Not  trusting your partner..

9. Not  asking for your partner's choice or opinion or like or dislike..

10. Taking  decisions that affect both the partners without other's consent and sometimes even knowledge..

11. Forcing your superiority on the other in terms of finances,looks or any other stupid reason..

12. Using   your partner as a ladder for growth instead of a support system and even failing to recognize and acknowledge..

13. Making  fun of the weaknesses of your partner publicly instead of correcting him or her privately..

All the above mentioned acts  of  one of the partner result in resentment and in my personal opinion a kind of emotional abuse  people do to their partners..

Dear readers,Please accept your partners with their weaknesses and strengths..Create enough space for both of the partners to flourish and prosper in a relationship..Disagreements on things can not or I should  say must not be the reason of a failed relationship.. Disagreements are point of views..They are not judgements for parting ways..Opinion of both the partners should be equally valued..then only a  healthy relationship can survive the ups and downs of life..This is actually the only way out for the prosperity and mental well being of both the partners and for the success of the relationship as a whole..Think about it..🤔😊💞

Things Everyone Wants to Hear..Emotional musings..

Emotional  Musings..💞💞🥰🥰

Namaste everyone, 

I want to convey a sense of warmth and comfort through my.. Emotional musings.

I Hope u like it and crave to hear this....🥰

Life is not perfect..for any body but life is precious...

Life is not perfect but life is precious...

Namaste everyone,
Today I am quite  depressed after seeing news of suicide  of actor Sushant singh Rajput.. yeh nahi hona chahiye tha.. I donot know him personally but liked him as an actor and also used to follow him on Instagram.. Nobody knows what he was going through in his mind.. because his superficial  life appeared very attractive to everybody.. but there is no doubt that some thing was terribly wrong..that forced him to take such a drastic step ...
What is our perception of life..everybody wants a happy ,go lucky life ..sabko ek perfect life chahiye..par life is never perfect..it is  our wrong perception  that life is perfect for others and not for us..we donot even know what others are going through .. now days most people donot even know what there closest family members  are going through...pata nahi kis cheez ke peeche bhag rahen hain hum sab,humein  khud nahi pata..Apne mind made perceptions   ko jo mostly real bhi nahi hoti unhen sach manke .. most of us feel depressed  all the time..,kyunki kuch achieve karna hai sabko..ek never ending competition  mein hain..hum sab..yeh competition  unhealthy  hai,kyunki yeh  hum khud se compete nahi kar rahe ,apne aap ko improve karne ki koshish nahi kar rahe..we are just trying to be better than others..that is why we are bound to fail  and  we feel disappointed.. we feel rejected..its a never ending process.. how others look at us ,how they judge us,what irrelevant  comments they pass upon us ..they donot even know what we are going through.. that is unimportant, believe  me that is unimportant..but the problem here is why we  react to or even believe  their judgement ..and sometimes  make it our reality.. from here exact problem  begins..these judgements of other have devastating  effects  on our self confidence and esteem..
I personally feel we ordinary people are not definitely  that strong to remain unaffected ..of course everybody gets disturbed  by any kind of negativity  they feel about themselves..in the eyes of others..but we have to choose not to react.. or be effected..because our life  is our responsibility ,we are not only responsible  for ourselves but also for our family members and loved ones... we just cannot take any drastic step like ending our lives or doing any kind of harm to ourselves.
We can be ordinary but we  can not  be irresponsible ..Ending life is no solution... Even  if we have lost interest in our own lives ,we have to live for our loved ones..we can not be this selfish.."Please please  please I request  everybody who is feeling depressed  or low for any damn reason...please donot harm yourselves...it is definitely  not the solution,just have a thought that ending your life will no way solve the problem you are facing..this too shall pass..Please donot allow a weak moment to overpower you ..."
If you can not do it for yourself  ,do it for your family,for people who love you ,donot be soo.. selfish, stop living for yourselves.. you donot find it worth it  , live for your loved ones think about them before taking any wrong steps...Life is precious..think of people  who donot even  have things atleast you have..
Make a new start..things will start falling in place...sab theek ho jayega..everything  will be alright...that's for sure..I truly believe  in this...😊😊😊

Follow your dreams ,Time is running out..

Follow your dreams, Time is running out..

Namaste everyone,
We are ordinary people , the introvert kind,we are unexpressive and unimpressive..types..All these  traits I totally understand, we all have  felt  and lived with..but the thing is for how long we have to be like this.."Time is running out"..It is definitely the truth of life that, Time stops for none..we have already wasted so many days , months and even years of  our precious life with the feeling of no self worth or importance..I am not sure about what others think about us..but i am definitely  sure that over those low  times of ours  we ourselves  never thought good or appreciative  about  ourselves ..we feel like failures for the whole life,bloddy losers, who can not do anything..
I totally agree that we donot have a pretty  good track record..we have failed..we were miserable..I agree ,i was also the same..but for how long we are going to be like this..???Are we the immortal  ones, waiting for some miracles to happen..that will change our pretty boring lives into the most attractive and sort after ones.. No...definitely not..Stop disillusioning  your ownselves. We have to make a fresh start ,irrespective  of our age, gender ,qualification , looks ,family backgrounds, financial  status and whatever that limits us from doing what we really want to..
Some people may have the privileges of financial status or looks or a sound financial  background..but mostly people lack them..The one common thing that every individual  has is his or her ablity to work hard if they they are determined  to do so..It is definitely  not easy..,you must have read success stories of so many people who really worked hard  they believed  in themselves..even though  they failed many a times but they refused to stop pursuing  their dreams big or small..Hard work is the key, everybody knows this..but very less people make it the Mantra of their  lives..
The only way of motivating ourselves that works is feeling our goals in life to be as important as are air , water , food and shelter..as if there is  some existential crisis ,If we donot feel the hunger of doing something  good for our ownselves , people around us, society  and world as a whole ..We never feel motivated enough.We have to feel as if we are out ot breath  without our goals..then only we will  feel motivated enough.. otherwise people like us will never change their way of thinking ,their lifestyles, their mindset..because continuous  rejections and failures in life have made us so indifferent  towards  our ownselves...The sense and feeling of existential  crisis  can act as a booster shot for us moving forward  with our dreams..We lack purpose of life..even if our thought pattern is not changing instantly, of course  it will take time..because this mindset was built over years..but ,let's  start with doing something good  for others as a special  task for revamping  our own lives ..Small small changes made to pretty  ordinary lives can make huge difference  over a period of time..I am pretty hopeful  about this..I am also in  a transition phase..I am also trying..I am not at all saying it's  goning to be anyway easy..but after making a start and winning the battle with my own mind that always told me that i am worthless and canot achieve anything..One thing i am  damn sure that desired results will be achieved..If the journey  is so exhilarating  ,than of course  destination will also be..I am myself seeing little little improvements  in my own personality  and confidence level is also building up..If making a start can work for me ,i am 100% sure that it work for even the weakest..The need of the hour is to gather all our energies in something constructive , joyful ,blissful or simply that brings a smile tand makes feel  happy..😊😊