Can we forgive  and forget?

Namaste everyone,

We all have experienced things done by people around us intentionally or unintentionally  that hurt us in some way or the other..

As a  simple and ordinary person and not having a successful  and busy professional life  we are mostly dependent on our relationships..and are very pure towards our feelings towards them.. We expect a lot from our relationships as we are totally committed  towards our relationships...

We have heard that forgiving people gives us immense peace and satisfaction..It may be true for some very big hearted people but not for ordinary people like us..This is my personal  opinion..Some may agree and some others will definitely disagree... Forgiving and forgetting comes into picture when we have to some how continue with the same person or people even after they committed things to us that were noway acceptable that too multiple times..... 

In our day to day lives we usually forgive each other for doing things that are usually done unknowingly or unintentionally...I accept that and am also in favour of forgiving when someone does something  wrong unintentionally or unknowingly...

My major concern is about people very close to us and when they hurt us that too multiple  times I don't see any justification in forgiving them...Actually  it was very difficult  for ordinary people like us to let others even  know that we will never forgive and forget the wrong doings  they did to us..Reasons being :

1.They were very close  to us ...

2.We ourselves never had the courage to express what we actually  felt about their behaviour towards us.

3.They were very important to us..

4.We kept ourselves in a illusion that we are also important  to them..

5.We thought we won't  be able to survive without them..

6.We will feel emotionally weak and alone without them..

7.We fear losing them , if we will tell them what we are exactly feeling about them..

8.Our relationship  will end..

9.We don't want to hurt them even when they are continuously hurting us.

10.We blame our ownselves  for other people's rudeness or indifferent behaviour.

11.We feel helpless and underconfident without them..

12.We loved them truly..

The list is endless..But one important  inference that we get from all above reasons is that I personally feel it is our own emotional weaknesses and insecurities that were responsible for making us tolerate behaviour that was not even forgivable or tolerable or even slightly acceptable .. I very well know we fall into relationships and want to continue out of love only ..There is no other reason but sometimes (am not saying all the time or all the people) people use their relationships  for their selfish motives and fake their emotions for the same..But one day or the other the other person  will definitely  realise the fact that there is only selfishness and no love..Infact love was never there..In that case ,I see no way out  in forgiving such people or forgetting their wrong doings to us..Atleast it is impossible  for totally committed ordinary people for whom relationships  are the only things they have..Relationships are our strength ,our motivation and purpose of life..

Deep down I also know it is very difficult to implement but we have to get out of it first emotionally and mentally.. Then only we will be able atleast protect ourselves  from this never ending emotional abuse..More importantly we are not the revenge seeker types..so atleast getting out of a failed relationship is our only saviour. 

The whole thing revolved around the fact that even after knowing something was definitely going wrong but many a times we ignored and somehow tried to drag the relationship...We were fair towards the relationship but not towards our ownselves...

Dear readers ,in my opinion instead of forgiving and forgetting what bad others did to us, for their whatever own selfish motives , we should gather courage and mental strength  to not only throw such people out of our lives but also out of our minds... Otherwise we won't be able to come out of this emotional mess and we will be  dragging ourselves again into it..and will not be able to start  a new life ...We have to  be strong enough  to accept that  although something wrong people did to us..but we can not allow its repercussions to haunt us all our lives...We have  to make a fresh start...with lessons learnt..👍👍.