My diary,my best friend..
Namaste everyone,My dearest diary ,the only real friend I have..Sounds strange but it is true..to the core..People will be surprised to hear this...As I have a full family life ,I have kids ,although I stay in a nuclear family with my husband and two kids in Bangalore..I talk with my mother and with my sister almost daily..I do have good neighbours also and it appears that I do have a pretty normal life,and it is true also ..but the thing is about my thoughts that continuously remind me of a unsuccessful life of mine and that bothers me, I lack a real purpose,but "everybody will be surprised if I say I have nobody to talk to and I donot tell people what I actually feel but present a very fine version that everything is pretty good.."
My mother will start scolding me if she somehow oneday reads it and will definitely say that I am mad..Actually I am realĺy fed up of these superficial talks that say," Are You Ok" and the obvious anwer is ,"Ya , absolutely "..
I was always surprised to see people being so socially active ,they talk soo much..they may actually feel free to talk ,They look attractive and good..They are very very active on Facebook ,Instagram and WhatsApp...They share their personal life on social media and feel comfortable about it..But on the other hand I never share anything on my social media accounts although I have them, for scrolling into other people's lives ...I donot have many photographs of myself to change my DP daily ,some people change DPs hourly..I find it very strange..Its not that I am telling them to stop because I donot do it ..But I feel that they do live life and If they choose to or feel free to share it or even flaunt it that is absolutely their choice..
But the thing that has started bothering me is , What is wrong with me?Why am I so introvert..Why can not I even change my DP ,may be because it will allow people to judge how I look,how boring is my life if I share pictures on Facebook..Why am I unable to express what I feel,what I really want..I donot know..
Actually people around us also feel that our feeling like this is not at all important.. But now that I have started writing my diary,my only friend I really feel free now I have someone to talk to I donot have to sugar coat my feelings and expressions about things ,people and circumstances..It is surprising , how I am expressing my feelings quite freely,as nobody is gonna judge me about my failed life so far..nobody will tell me that I am mad..about the way I feel about life , I do not have pretend anything.. I need not fake my feelings..I have always felt ,Why I feel alone in crowd..I am looking for answers..my diary will help me find answers..😊😊
