We fail because we are never driven by passion.

Namaste everyone,
Over the years if I look back in the past I didnot achieve anything professionally and rather lost whatever skills I had because of my education..Years passed and I kept forgetting...Actually  I merged my expectations  with  my family's  expectations..and stopped expecting  anything for myself from me ,forget about others.
When we are young..we all have a lot and lot of dreams..but only few are really successful  and remaining  become the part of the crowd..Have you ever wondered why??
Humein khud hi nahi lagata ki hum kuch remarkable  kar sakte hain..humein bus life adjustment  mode mei hi jeeni hai.
Doing compromises and adjustments   are not at all bad traits of a individual..it clearly indicates how strong we are..but the thing is  ,Why we have kept all our strength  and energies for adjustments  related to others for making them happy..??Why can't we save little strength and energy  for our  own selves...??

When I was small I always dreamt of becoming  a doctor..but in the competitive  exams I could not get enough marks to get a MBBS seat , but I  somehow got a seat in a private Engineering college,Although I never liked it..But sonehow adjusted because  my parents  didnot want me to waste a year for MBBS preparation  and also they were satisfied  about it. So I also simply carried  on with it..after that I also did M.tech..just because I thought I can go for a teaching job in future..but the thing was, for both these things I was never very much interested  ,but my parents had a thought that my qualifications will secure my future and I will get a job after my kids grow up..but I could not get anything  from it because I was never interested  in anything  related to it..
Muje bus shayad Engineer  ka tag lagana tha,muje Computer Engineering  mei koi bhi interest nahi tha,but hamare time pe Computer's  engineering  bada trend mei tha..so I opted for it..
And till date I continue to carry the burden of my qualifications( as my father keeps on  saying "you wasted your qualications"), and could not  get  anything from it exactly..
Because for teaching in schools they say I am over qualified..and give justifications  that ,Will I be comfortable  teaching small kids MS-word ,MS-excel and so on..and for colleges I am under qualified  because I am not a PHD. So I was hanging in between..
Now that I realise, fault was  all mine , because I choose to please others before myself..and moreover middle class kids donot have  plenty  of options..but I do realise wasting a single year would  not have harmed my career  that much then choosing something  in which I had absolutely  no interest at all did.I failed to  achieve simply because I was not driven by passion  or my interests..
"Now that I want to do what I feel like doing I do have a lot responsibilities, I can not just jump out of the bed and start doing whatever I feel like doing.."
But now  I atleast make it a point that after completing  my household and family responsibilities   I do find some time to write and express what I feel ...Writing my heart out in my blog ,I feel satisfied and burden free..as if I released  weights from my head....I know I have just started and its  a long journey..I am not that popular  also..😊😊.But this thing I really feel passionate  about..I want to relate to people and want to somehow connect to them and want to prevent them from making life changing decisions that can result in failures..I want to motivate them to start new journeys  with things they love to do ..We should not have  any regrets  about life..that we had a life without any passion or purpose...😊😊

FOMO..

FOMO,Fear of Missing Out

Namaste Everyone,

I have been trying  to somehow motivate,help and move along with  my readers who are on a new journey of following their dream and let them know that how important  it is to have a dream and to follow it with all heart and 100% commitment.. along with me...because I have been through  this and am still part of it..I was myself  always filled with Fear of missing out,FOMO...

It is because  for ordinary  people like me the journey  is more difficult as we are very weak mentally and lack purpose  and confidence ..We never experienced any kind of success to feel worthy or important...we were the average types...the loser types..

We all have that stupid feeling of FOMO,fear of missing out..Yes, I totally agree ..We fear failures...but let me remind  you it was this FOMO only that kept stopping us for years altogether  to follow what we really  wanted to do,what we really loved to do,kept us away from what was our real calling...It damaged our future, our aspirations and more importantly our confidence, This FOMO kept us insecure in our minds and stopped us living life to the fullest..

After years  of wasting  our lives without purpose  we will definitely have the realisation that we always felt or preassumed that we will fail...What will people think of us?What is wrong with us?These thoughts kept our minds occupied  with negativity...

Negativity drags us deep down into more of insecurities and confusion about our own abilities  to achieve  some thing ..

We had all kinds of fears... FOMO already degraded our lives  and a lot of things were missed for years ,that we would have achieved or  I should say we would have been reached atleast much much closer to our dream... FOMO never allowed us to express our feelings truly because we feared of losing people..It never allowed to follow our passion because  we felt it will take us to no where and eventually we will fail..We feared public opinion ,we feared of even trying ,we feared of judgements of others about us and our dream...

When you are in extreme darkness of failures ,If they are professional they can be somehow managed but when it comes to personal, gaining just a slightest motivation to carry on  seems to be impossible...Personal failures  are much more damaging...... Without love ,support and care of our loved ones nothing makes sense...No accomplishment looks worth it if you donot have our loved ones...For some emotional  people this fear of missing out their own loved ones is even more challenging then  losing their dreams and they keep on compromising their aspirations, their dreams for the sake of relationships...

I personally  feel  there is nothing wrong in it...but to the extent that it does not completely  damage your individuality...Because in that case you will be left with  so much emptiness that can not be filled and we will be left with depression  and insecurities...

Dear readers, FOMO, is nothing but just another hindrance in our way to our dreams..Donot  give attention to it,It just exists in a enhanced way in weak and insecure minds..This is only inversely  proportional to mental strength and commitment towards our dream ...More confident and committed we become more weak this FOMO gets...Please donot give any attention to any negative thoughts that  deviates us from achieving our dream and living life to our full potential...This is your precious life please donot waste it for things that donot  have any existence or importance...Donot let any fears to stop you...Make a commitment to yourself...❤❤❤

What is confidence?

What is confidence?

Namaste Everyone,

What is confidence?

 Confidence for  me is accepting yourself as you are and not  pretending to be someone else according to the  circumstances in life.Our focus should  be on things we are able to do without  worrying about what we can’t do!

I just want to share a short story of mine here ..when I was in Ist standard,  I was selected  for a poem recitation competition in school ..I prepared well and I was confident..but when I went on stage,before reciting the poem as we have to introduce ourselves and greet  Principal Sir , teachers and fellow friends..but as I was very small at that time and could not see where Principal  sir was sitting(sounds funny now😂) and so could not  greet him before starting.. because of this I stood numb there, did not start ..I could not utter a single word and finally my teacher came  to take me  off the stage..but as a little kid I felt very insulted, this little incident had such a huge impact on my childhood days that I never ever dared to participate  in any individual  competitions .Stage fear was soo..much in me that I never even tried once..I remember my teachers asking me again and again as I was good in studies to participate but I never did..I was afraid  of failing again..and thought not participating will protect me  from this fear of failure..Not participating  will protect me from judgement of others..At that time I used to make thousands of excuses  for not participating..but now I strongly feel that One incident deprived me from enormous  opportunities  that were offered to me in my school days to prove myself but I failed to grab even one of them..

This one thought that I  will fail gets into our heads soo much...The thing is we may fail and not that we will definitely  fail..but fear of failure  stops us from living life to our full potential..I now completely  agree with the fact that self confidence  is the game changer..We have to believe  in ourselves...It is the thing that can change our ordinary lives to extraordinary..  Confidence does not guarantee  100% success  rate,but atleast  it will be higher than 0% in case we donot try at all..

I am also quite a ordinary  individual  but with no notable achievements  in life,but now that when I analyse my past life,I wasted precious  childhood years that could have been filled with many  little achievements, I myself deprived me from them..I feel this lack of confidence held me back always, stopped me from doing what I really wanted and was really good at..It stopped me from living life fully..It stopped me  and made a strong impression in my mind that I am average,can not achieve anything ,so I must go and stand in the last of the queue..

I request everyone reading this please donot undermine  yourself  by small small failures ,donot label yourself as average..We all are special in some sense ..We all are precious and are capable of achieving  anything we want to ..but for that  the minimum  requirement  is we should not stop trying..and PLEASE  PLEASE..never ever stop believing  in yourselves... 😊😊,keep trying..

How to differentiate between  right and wrong decisions in life?

Namaste  everyone,
How to differentiate between right and wrong decisions in life?This question kept bothering  me all the time and  I think everyone  faces this question  back in their minds quite often..during various moments or even stages of life..
I am a ordinary person and had a pretty much  unsuccessful  professional  life.Now that I look back in the past.. My life today is clearly the consequence of decisions  I took early in my life..Everyone relates with this fact..The point here is that the decisions we took  were good for us or not..As far as my failed track record is concerned  I have been a average person,with lot of failures ..Actually  I donot have much to tell or say about success because  I never felt it..How disspointing is that..Ya it is very very dissapointing  or I should say its heart breaking...as far as I am concerned...but over the years I realised at different  phases  of life we have to take decisions that affect our personal  and professional life..This is true ..but this is also true that we have to make although  small decisions  or rather choices on daily basis as well..They also affect us... The consequences  of our decisions are sometimes  positive and sometimes negative..
"With positive outcomes we donot become any changed person ,we are still the same deep within if the outcome comes negative...but we start defining our ownselves  with the outcomes of decisions  we took..."
People judge  us by the outcomes of our decisions  all our lives..We start believing  their judgements..
Everything goes pretty well if somehow our decisions  come out to be successful ,we are labeled as successful , intelligent and extraordinary ,till any of our decisions results in a huge failure...and people start calling us failure for life..and we as the dumbest creatures of the world.. make it our reality and even stop trying and doing something to improve our situation..
Pretty ordinary people like me whose  most of life decisions  resulted in failure become so underconfident  and insecure that we lose even the simplest decision making powers..We even feel underconfident to choose a perfect dress that suits us ..we need to seek approvals   for every thing we do..

"The main reason behind our failed life was not that we took the bad or wrong decisions  all the time all our life...but it was lack of self belief and  most importantly we  always quit in between ,we stopped  trying again..we made other people's judgments our reality..we were weak, we were introvert and we were underconfident too..but the thing that stopped us from moving forward was we ourselves..we only proved all our decisions were wrong because once facing failure  at any particular point we simply stopped ,we did not thought  of any alternate ways to restart..we did not look for other plans to make things work..It was all our own weaknesses  that were totally responsible  for our failed life ..our wrong decisions  can delay our success but we decided to quit  and that is why we failed...We ourselves  gave up on ourselves that was the reason of our failed  and a pretty average  life today and not our decisions.."
Nobody can 100% be sure about the outcome  of any decision ,so in the fear of a negative outcome or even after getting  a failure we  just can not stop..moving ahead...These  are really big blunders  we do to ourselves if we simply stop..and then as time passes we are only left with regrets..that why we didn't  give ourselves  another chance...
So ,Please  I want to request you all reading that please donot stop in between, donot stop chasing your dreams..you will not be successful  all the time, all your decisions  might not be fruitful..but please donot give up...once life passes like this we will not be able to rewind anything..Whatever you want to do ,start now,own your mistakes and decisions  ...keep improving..Success  is assured..😊😊😊😊 
You can also go through the below post  to  that describes reasons of failure in life👇🏻👇🏻

https://myheartfultalks.blogspot.com/2020/07/failures-and-success-in-life.htmlhttps://myheartfultalks.blogspot.com/2020/07/failures-and-success-in-life.html
https://myheartfultalks.blogspot.com/2020/07/we-fail-because-we-are-never-driven-by.html
https://myheartfultalks.blogspot.com/2020/07/we-fail-because-we-are-never-driven-by.html

Are we afraid ? Are we on the right track???

 Why are we afraid of failure ??

Namaste everyone,
After  deciding to give a new start  to our lives ,On the way the first question that keeps on coming to our mind  is that "Are we on the right track??pata nahi ... I also donot know... 

But this stupid thought keeps on coming to our minds but we can not allow this thought to be a deterrent, we can not stop here..we can not do it now, "aisa toh hum hamesha se karte aaye,pahle toh kuch start hi nahi kiya and agar kuch kiya bhi toh usko halfway  mei hi leave kar diya..humein apni iss habit ko chodna hi padega ,we donot even have a choice". 
We can not stop now ..Its high time..  how many years of our lives we are going to waste like this.. whenever hum  kuch bhi naya start karte hain, kisi ko bhi ek dum se outstanding results aana start nahi ho jate.. time lagta hai..overnight success toh bahut hi kam logon ko milti hai..hum apni  although  slow  but satisfying  si start ko midway leave nahi kar sakte hain.. kyunki ordinary logon ke liy phir se start karna, phir aur bhi mushkil ho jayega..himmat nahi harni hai.. apni  comfort zone se bahar nikalna hi padega..kuch uneasy bhi lagega..but at the end of every day, atleast lagega kuch acha kiya... ek bade se well mei ..ek chota sa coin hi sahi par dala.. and one  day we will get the water..
So please  I request you  not to stop trying  and please donot feel disappointed  or  disheartened...even if the results are not coming.. keep trying.. I am also trying.. muje bhi darr lagta hai failure se..but this time I am not going to stop and you all out there like me.. please donot stop.. together we all will make it .😊😊😊👍👍

Everything will be fine...just make a start..

Everything will be fine..

Namaste everyone..

Once we start... I donot  know from where ,a new energy comes in... although abhi kuch substantial  hua nai hai.. kuch bada achieve  bhi nai kiya hai... par start toh kiya.. woh kya hamare jaise ordinary logon ke liy kam hai kya...kuch bhi achieve karna ,life mei hugely successful  hona  bahut sare factors par depend karta hai.. overnight toh kuch nahi hota.. bahut  hardwork karna padta hai.. one thing  I am damn sure... once we start ..the journey  is wonderful... kuch naya karne ki feeling hi alag hoti hai.. sense of achievement aane lagta hai,apni kuch worth feel hoti hai... ajeeb sa confidence feel hota hai...can not say why but happiness  bhi feel hoti hai...

Negative  thoughts jaise gayab si jo jati hain..because hum apne new venture mei itne busy ho jate hain..ki humein  jo bhi free time milta hai apni routine life se badi mushkil se..woh  hum kuch productive karne mei use karte hain.. jo shayad immediately  nahi par kabhi na kabhi results jaroor dega.. am sure about that... agar kisi raste  par chalne bhar se hi humein acha ,pleasant and calm feel hota hai.. toh why not follow  it..destination will also be reached soon..😊😊

Everything will be fine that's for sure...but how long this is going to take..and more importantly how many of us have the courage to hang on is the real deal....

Future, nobody  has seen but the thing that is in our hands is continuous effort towards our dream..The journey is no doubt going to be tough , stressful and many times we will be disappointed..but there will be satisfaction  that atleast we are moving ahead..For ordinary  people even little  achievements matter a lot...These are the only motivators we have..I must add here  ,sometimes  we even continue without any possible help or motivation from anybody...but with faith that everything will be fine we continue....😊😊

Ordinary me...

Namaste everyone, 

I failed several times that too pretty miserably,I felt helpless ,I lost hope,I cried as well...But I realised even after this my dream is still the most important thing  for me..It is my identity, infact my dream is the only thing I proudly call as my own..I can not do without it..So I continued.. because this is the only way out...

"I waited for me , I did not come...After years, I came..Torn,Underconfident ,Insecure,purposeless.."

This was me ,years ago when I  knew something was really not right ,I was losing me ,My identity, My confidence..and still kept ignoring those very strong signals  of ever diminishing self worth and on the way I  kept compromising my self respect ,financial independence and confidence..for things..and people..and feelings that were obviously not long lasting..What was wrong with me...

Nothing  is forever.. Nothing is permanent, not even feelings or people very very close to us..Priorities change there is nothing wrong in it ,Problems  in relationships arise when it makes people to compromise their personal space ,value and financial independence. but still many people are somehow blinded by whatever  stupid reasons they give and finally end up broke both emotionally and financially..

Ordinary people find it extremely difficult to again even have a conversation with people whose true self has been shamelessly revealed.. This world ( our family ,our friends or any relationships we are involved in )  altogether suddenly become a totally different place if we fail to agree and adjust all the time...🤔🤔🤔🤔

Walking alone is not that bad,at least you need not seek approvals with each  forward step..There is no fear of judgements..You are 100% responsible for yourself and your actions...You are not dependent..You have your own pace and you need not be answerable to anyone..This is good..Really good...

Dear readers ,we ordinary ones were never that super talented, confident, outspoken or extrovert or even the lucky ones .We were the simple ,silly ordinary ones..I donot find it bad unless at some point of time we realise we  have to carve our way out in much much harder way then some others..( I am here noway demeaning the successful ones as I very well know everyone has their own share of struggles).

I am saying it's more difficult for ordinary ones is only because we ourselves spend years altogether only for the simple  realisation that our dream is also important and more importantly achievable...🤨🤔

 

Happiness is different from peace..

Namaste everyone,
My favourite lines
"Sukh hai alag aur chain alag hai,par jo yeh dekhnen woh nain alag hain"
(these are lyrics  from a movie named Luck  by chance)
Today this song got stuck in my head ,as it sometimes  happens with all of us ..but I was not getting  the song completely..but these lyrics were in my mind..
Like literally  if we look at  the essence  of life we will definitely  come to know that how different is happiness from peace....
We spent our whole lives in search of happiness..we look for happiness in love,money, career..or any other kind of our little little day to day wishes that very  rarely come true..but we somehow continue to look for happiness  in them all our lives...Even if we somehow achieve things we wish for in life happiness generated by them is very short lived..When one wish or desire is fulfilled  another pops up in our heads.. Actually  we all keep falling into this viscous trap of desires that  never get fulfilled completely and these are so endless that they keep on coming and going....The question here is , Do they really give us peace of mind..?? The answer as per my experience  is a No...because these desires are our wants not needs...

This never ending craving for fulfilling  our wishes or I should say wants keeps on bothering us.. Keeping us restless all our lives...
I am from a small town  and belonged to an average middle class family.. When  I got married we had nothing..everything we had was  on loan..at that time my thoughts were like ,me and my husband will together work hard and create a far far improved life financially but in reality it was never my personal priority..but a improved financial  condition  is a thing that everybody like me needs especially  for their children..It was  always my thought process that without love and family the happiness given by materialistic  things won't  be long lasting..After two and a half years of our marriage , my husband got a new job and we moved to Bangalore, we are now in a far better financial  condition..but it never gave any kind of happiness to me...
In due course  of time people  like us only prioritize money matters and forget our family far behind ...We donot have time for each other, although this is also true that we work hard only  for our family..but we are so mesmerized and blinded by this blind run for money and status that we ourselves  forget that how far behind we have left our family and loved ones..We really never felt peaceful and content even after getting so many things we once aspired  for... Everything appears fake...
The main reason behind this is we start looking for happiness in things and  not with our loved ones..Without our loved ones  no materialistic thing can ever generate happiness that is everlasting...

We actually  waste years of our lives in search of things that give shortlived happiness  and never peace..
Materialistic things money,luxury and career are important part of our lives but they are not our lives...
In this life we have  started giving so much importance  to materialistic  things but totally forget that without our family these things will give fake happiness and no content and peace of mind..

In today's  world we have a lot of things but no one to share with ..rather I should say nobody to share our feelings and emotions nor our so called luxuries...
Life is itself a luxury but without our family it makes no sense at all.. I also very well know that without a strong financial  status family also starts falling apart..but we have to create a balance...
Dear readers,even very experienced and succesful people fail to create a balance in life ..this must be because happiness and peace of mind should go hand in hand..but it happens very rarely that people are actually happy and at peace  because we continously expect happiness from  fulfilling our desires that are themselves not permanent and keep on changing with time,age or other day to day circumstances..How can a thing that itself is not longlasting  generate permanent happiness and further peace of mind?🤔🤔

 Me and my aspirations.

Namaste everyone,

My ordinary life  and ordinary thinking never made me realise that I never had something of my own...It was like living a purposeless life that too for years altogether thinking  my family's dreams are mine ,their aspirations  are mine...but very lately I realised it was 100% true that my family's happiness  and prosperity  was only thing I wished for in life...I was doing it happily, wholeheartedly and with full commitment, this was the only truth of my life...

But It is also true that am doing it now also and will continue all my life...but with a slightest addition that now I have a dream of my own as well and will follow it to achieve  what totally belonged to me...It may appear unimportant to others but not for me anymore..

I donot held anybody responsible for my own disinterest  in my own dreams...I had aspirations but those have nothing to do with me.. 

My dreams actually had nothing  to do with me..whatever I dreamt or even wished for, was for my family..I am not unhappy with this fact of my life...but the thing  where I lacked was, I totally ignored my own aspirations,my little little wishes,my own dreams, my own me time..As a part of a family ,as a mother,as a wife ,as a daughter, as a sister as a friend ,as a social person we all have responsibilities and we can not just live a selfish life..thinking only of ourselves and blindly running for our aspirations or dreams by plainly ignoring all others..I personally never justify that...and not appreciate others doing this..

We have to create  a fine balance...The thing is we have to take out  some time for ourselves completing our responsibilities with utmost sincerity... Following our dreams no way gives us the liberty to take irresponsible actions..

Dear readers, the only intention of this post is to motivate people  who ignored their own aspirations due to whatever reasons...its never too late  to begin  again..Start thinking about your dream, start working on your dream,start learning and educating yourself about your dream...start telling yourself that your life is also important, your dream is as important  as it is for others..You are also worth it..Nobody in this world has a purposeless,ordinary life..We all have a purpose and a worth..but that worth and purpose we have to first recognize ourselves then only we will be able to make the world agree to this...Past failures no more matter.. actually they never mattered.. It was only  us who gave unnecessary importance to these self demeaning and disheartening thoughts about our ownselves..as a result of which we continued to live a passive ,dormant and purposeless life without having any regrets..

I want to Stop Pretending...

Namaste everyone,
A weird thought is really bothering me nowadays...or may be it was always there  and bothering  me deep within but I never ever  expressed it...As we always present a different and rather polished version of ourselves and that we are “Ok” but deep within we are not.. We pretend to be happy but we are not..my below post describes the things we should stop pretending ,start living fully  but as the way we are and feel..and for that we ourselves have to first accept us as we are..Below is the list of our daily pretensions...

• I am tired of pretending  a perfect picture of myself like most of ordinary people do...
• I always pretend to be the most adjusting one..
• I always pretend to be not affected by what other's intentional  or unintentional  comments..
• I pretend to be not bothered by my failed professional  life..
• I pretend  to be not bothered by treated as a extra who can fitin any where..
• I pretend to be happy  all the time..
• I pretend to agree mostly even  for things I strongly disagree..
• I pretend to be the one who can ever get angry..
• I pretend to be not bothered  about how I look..
• I pretend  to feel nothing..
• I pretend  to have no priorities, likes or dislikes at all..
• I pretend to always saying  "Yes",I  just can not say "No" to anyone..
• I pretend  to be not bothered  about not having a real purpose..
• I pretend to be not bothered about people never meeting  my expectations..
• I pretend to be not bothered about people not prioritising me  as I do to them..
• I pretend to be not bothered  when people ignore me or take advantages from me..
• In  nutshell I always pretend to be happy and strong..but in reality I am noway even near to that..

I have been like this  for almost 14 years..this was my thought process... But the good part is now that giving yourself to the world and sacrificing  your priorities  and needs is good to  some extent but in all this if you completely forget yourself, you will definitely  end up in deep emotional or sometimes financial  mess as well. Because slowly and gradually you will realise people mostly do not reciprocate  feelings and attention as we give to them..It further results in thoughts  like .."What is wrong with us?""Are we not worthy enough??"
How can we expect others to give us preference  when we give ourselves  the last?
Think about it...
 Sooner or later we have to give ourselves the nourishment of atleast little  self  confidence that we are worth it like every body else is .We have  to stop judging  ourselves and have to stop defining ourselves  as per other people's  definitions.. We can not be so harsh towards  ourselves  all the time..They donot even know us fully..  

We have been presenting a polished  and adaptable picture  of ourselves..We have to stop pretending... We have to start living  for ourselves  as well and most importantly we have to  come out of the shell of the image of the average adjusting one,who fits in every where..Think about it ,this struggle is real..🤔🤔

Comparing our own lives to others..

Comparing our own lives to others

Namaste everyone, 

"As a very ordinary person with nothing special about us ,we never compared our life to other much more successful  people around us..."

I am not at all exaggerating or saying something  for the sake of getting appreciation or to any way prove something to anybody..This has been my thought  process all my life and will always  be... I must confess here ,although I never did any comparisons but I was definitely amazed by other people's lifestyles...I used to wonder how come they achieved so much in life..But I forgot the ugly truth that I was myself never bothered about my aspirations from life..I was rather ignorant towards my ordinary and purposeless life...Maybe we often say I was destined  to have a pretty  ordinary life...but question here is ,Do we silly people ever bothered about our ownselves??.. Now after years,I realised this..When I started looking forward to the purpose of my life,my achievements, my accomplishments and my earnings.... I not to my surprise, got "NOTHING" as the answer...Sad but absolutely true...

Dear readers, although I was always a late starter ..but I definitely  want to say to everybody  who is reading this that,"Please have a dream,follow it with all your heart ...Don't ever stop working on yourself no matter what circumstances or phases of life you are going through",

otherwise it becomes extremely difficult to start all over again after years of inactivity..This I am definitely telling from my personal experience of life...

But I very well know most of us feel depressed and uncomfortable when we compare our lives with others...this  obviously  indicates we are not satisfied we with what we presently have and want to become someone that we are not...

There is thin line between  being jealous and envious about others...

Dear readers, I very well know that ordinary unsuccessful people like me have not achieved much but we do have some dreams and it noway implies  that we want to become what others are..This is our own journey...When we will be successful  in our own sense  even then  we will not become some other individual..we will still remain unique in our own sense as all others are in this world..but most of us forget this and in our life's journey accompanied with many failures we forget this and want to become something  else and forget our own strengths and weaknesses in this blind race to become like some other successful  individuals...

The most important  life lesson that I  personally  feel is everybody in this world has its own timeline and a entirely different set of struggles..we all have to face ups and downs during different  phases of life...Life never follows a preset pattern of struggles and successes for everyone, so how can we compare our lives to others when we are in a stage of unsuccessful life and someone else is pretty successful while going through his or her own set of struggles...🤔🤔

While seeing other people's  social media profiles  and photos of course  something strikes in everybody's mind that others do have a far better life than us...It happens with all of us..We find their houses,career,lifestyle and even their family far better then ours and we subject ourselves to a state where we find our own lives meaningless, totally unsuccessful and obviously very very mediocre...

But we forget to see the hardwork made by others to achieve all that...I also admit that in most cases it can be a luck factor as well,I am not denying that ....

Even if today we are having a mediocre, purposeless and failed professional  or personal life,can we not find a single thing in our life that is the best blessing we have and others may be deprived of??🤔🤔

When I personally started Looking for it ,I found many many blessings and things..in the form of my children,my family..I agree that I was never successful professionally..but I do have a lot of personal  things to cherish and live for..

But dear readers, this doesn't  give me the liberty to continue to live a failed professional life and do nothing about my dream and aspirations that I compromised over all these years..Some people compromised personal life for professional and some others did the opposite..That's why  I am saying no individual's life can be compared to the other..Even all children in a family have entirely  different lives,although  they were subjected to same upbringing  and equal opportunities by their parents..Life is like that..

And moreover we never compare our lives to others when we are successful, these 

comparisons come when we ourselves are on the losing side...This is human nature..Another important thing I found is when we are unsuccessful and ordinary we do all the comparisons and keep on piling all negative  thoughts in our minds but fail to  look for ways to get out of that situation..To improve, to learn,to navigate to positivity should be  our priority, not to become better in comparison with others but  with our own pastselves...

Dear readers,this is the only way out..otherwise these thoughts of comparisons will always leave us very weak,worthless and a failure for life...😕😕

Stop living in the past..

Stop living in the Past

Namaste everyone,

We all have a past may be good or  bad...but we all do have a lot of emotional attachment  with it.

Some times it gives us strength and sometimes weakens us to the core ,leaving us helpless and sad..I know it is not easy for a ordinary  person to just leave the past and start afresh....

We keep on searching for those things and people in our present who were important  part of our lives in the past..(This is definitely the worst thing we do to ourselves..)

Practically it is impossible but our weak minds keep on dragging us there over and over again...

The most significant reason behind this is  that "we are never satisfied in our present and have no expectations from the future as well..so we keep on running back  to our past..."

This running back to the past is always painful and of no use because  even if the memories related to it  are of happiness  there absence today hurts us....

This is the common trait of emotionally weak people..They declared to themselves  that they can not do anything  about the current situation so they keep reminding their past to  themselves ...

We continue to live in the past as if the past pacifies us but in reality  it is fooling us and stopping us to live and enjoy our present fully.... it is like keeping a wound alive.. because we are noway doing justice to the people that are part of our present and more importantly to ourselves..

Living in the past we forget to give appropriate importance to people and things we have today...we feel more attached to people and things that were part of lives in the past..but we forget that they have no relevance in our present and dragging them forcefully  may result in the loss of even those we have today..because we are not fully committed  to people and things that we have today...

Past is gone years back it may be cherished  by some because they were extremely  happy and successful  back then and it may be life lessons for many who have failed relationships, failures and rejections..

Actually  I personally  feel usually people learn lessons from failures and rejections of the past but when it comes to failed relationships,it gets very difficult for ordinary people to come out of it and they  keep on reminding themselves endlessly and continue to feel sorry for a failed relationship.. The reason of a failed relationship can be anything like infidelity,abuse,disrespect

,distrust or disagreements ..but the fact of life is that  a particular relationship failed..Years passed but still our weak minds  deny to accept that and continue to live in the past..as a result mostly ordinary people become so weak, underconfident and insecure that they fear in making new and fresh relationships...The reality is deep in their minds they blame themselves for the failure of the relationship but forget the red flags in the past relationship that resulted in the failure of it..Actually  I believe  it was God's way of protecting us from people who were responsible only for hurting us emotionally  and that too real bad...and would have continued if God didn't throw them out from our lives due to whatever reasons...

Dear readers,don't  get me wrong ,I am not saying all people who were part of lives in the past were bad...but the thing is they are no more part of our present...And if we continue  to prioritize them more over our present relationships,it will be  injustice  to people who are part of our lives today..and more importantly  who chose to be with us even after accepting  our past...

We have to gather courage to get rid of our past in our minds,because if we do not stop living  in the past ,it will definitely  affect our today's relationships..We have to cherish what we have today and not things and people who left us on a wrong note in the past by giving unruly ,stupid , selfish and baseless excuses..🤔🤔Think about it ,start to live fully with open minds...and Please  Stop living in the past... cherish and value whatever you have today...

How to say what we really feel?

 Namaste everyone,
I personally find it very difficult to say what I really feel..It must be the case with many other introvert, simple and ordinary people like me..
Reasons  for this are manifold..
Firstly we were not confident and vocal enough to express what we really feel and want in life to anybody..

Secondly ,we being ordinary choose not to say what we felt because we never ever want to hurt anybody even unintentionally...It took me years to realize  not hurting others was definitely  my strength and that was of course  related to my habit of not speaking and expressing too much...What others will feel was always in my mind..
But somehow you always have experiences in life that tell you mostly people around us never even bothered about how others are feeling and intentionally or unintentionally speak  things that can hurt other people to the core..

If being an extrovert somehow means to hurt people without being hesitant and even giving a second thought of realising the consequences of the words spoken I don’t want to be an extrovert..My simplest ordinary life will outweigh this audacity of some people who easily hurt people..sometimes  even their own loved ones..
How people become insensitive to other person's feelings is still a mystery  for ordinary people like me..Although we were not that successful  all our lives but somehow we were gifted enough to be filled with lots of humility, care,respect and empathy for others..These were the only things that I can be proud of ..but the truth of life is that they donot earn you a single penny..
Although we never have had enough courage to express our feelings to others..We actually never even accepted what are we exactly feelings..We also kept on ignoring our own feelings that too for years altogether...We never acknowledged or even responded properly to our own desires and dreams ....because obviously  we felt like we are unsuccessful, unworthy  and incompetent to achieve  what we really dream or want to achieve...And mostly we always  had the fear of failure  far before even trying or giving it a shot..We always were the underconfident and insecure ones ..that was definitely the reason of our pretty unsuccessful and purposeless lives..It is truth..we have to accept  it and move forward..

Dear readers, Please first acknowledge your dreams ,thoughts and feelings to your own conscience.. then only you will be able to say what you feel and want to the world and people  around...There is no way out..Accept your weaknesses and work on your strength..Sharpen your skills..Keep yourself  busy in things you love to do..Please don't judge yourself, be little biased towards your own dreams..I am definitely  not telling to be selfish  in anyway but working on your dreams ,taking time for yourself  is not at  all acting selfish..Start to dream...what you really wanted to be and stop being the person you became with time with no personal choices or voice...☺

The World is bothered about the results and not our struggles...

 The World is bothered about the results and not our struggles...

Namaste  everyone,

The day I  had this realisation that how I wasted  years of my life with the  stupid assumption that  my family's dream is my dream,  their aspirations are the only aspirations I can have,living an average life is Ok..not having any purpose in life is fine..Not taking  out time for our ownselves and not investing time in self improvement and some new learnings or hobby is not a crime that we do to ourselves..

Years wasted...nothing achieved ,nothing learned ,no self improvement.. no bank balance ..This what we become living a ordinary purposeless life.

Nobody is and was ever bothered how I was wasting my life facilitating other's lives..Don't get me wrong ,I was not doing any favours, I was definitely doing it out of love and commitment for my family..But the strange thing was I had no commitment towards my own dreams and life..  If we ourselves are least bothered why would others around us be??🤔😕🤔

This  small thinking for ourselves  is so detrimental, I also have no idea about..

The World around us is bothered about the results always...Nobody is bothered about how a ordinary person is feeling ,how that person perceives life , how that person is unable to follow a dream he or she has ..but is unable to  achieve or even tell..They are least interested  in day to day financial and  emotional struggles  of ordinary people who never achieved anything in life..

This is a fact of life..Nobody is interested in failed lives of ordinary  people...until  they are successful..Nobody bothers if  ordinary people aspire success but need motivation and help..Nobody gives them attention or  I should say even notices their little little achievements or even failures..Nobody sees the dullness on  ordinary  people's faces and depression in their minds..Nobody cares...Nobody even asks for the reasons of disappointments and distresses..

Everybody  wants to be the part of lives of people who are successful and not those who have been struggling or have not achieved anything for years altogether...

Times of struggle actually  require immense mental strength and support of real people and relationships..Fake people easily  get shunted from our life  in tough times and struggles....

Dear readers,Everybody in this world has its own share of struggles, disappointments and failures... but Please have a dream ,work on it and improve yourself on daily basis..Other wise sooner or later  life will appear meaningless  to you..Life needs motivation and love to carry on ..This can only happen if we have a purpose in life....If we have a dream and purpose we can easily sail through the ups and downs of life...😇😇

I am there for you always,Are you there??

 I am there for you always , Are you there??

Namaste everyone, 

In relationships that are inevitable and integral part of our lives...when things don't appear to work out or something appears fishy.. We start feeling left out and alone...It is  a common feeling..

We  sometimes feel like asking our resspective partners that,"I am there for you always ,Are you there?" but but but ....we ordinary and silly ones are ignorant enough to not see the red flags..We are not able to see the absence of interest ,love and care in  our partner's actions ...Neither we express ourselves completely nor we totally understand what are other person's feeling..

We do have a lot of unanswered questions and lot many many things that require explanation and answers but in fake or forced relationships we get nothing,Absolutely nothing..

 Sometimes I used to wonder how come people who give 100% to their relationships get betrayed...🤔🤔but people who do this it is quite easy for them..This forces  to  make ordinary people like us to feel unworthy ,insecure and underconfident...but actually  our own emotions start  working against us.....Although we feel alone ,betrayed and lost..But this phase is definitely temporary..This tough emotional turbulence shall also pass...I know its easy preach than implement..

 "Betrayals done by others to us has nothing to do with us because quitting a relationship can be done in other better ways than cheating and infidelity.."

We do things out of pure love and commitment that we ourselves  donot find right and justified ....as a result we are left empty when things donot work well...Following  the right path be it in relationships or real life is the only way,any short cuts or wrong doings or selfishness will take us nowhere... To somehow continue in a relationship we keep on making compromises that no way make sense ,we sacrifice our self respect ,devote our time and energy but fail to see the absence of commitment, honesty and love in our estranged partners eyes..We are ourselves  blinded by our own emotional weaknesses...and continue to be guided by the emotion that we  cannot survive without the relationship...but when reality strikes hard and I  asked," Are you there for me?"

Answer came screaming  to me ,"No,No,No"...The strange thing is answers to such questions  are never direct for fake people in a relationship.. but they are obviously indicated more by their actions,gestures and comments..They are  making us realise in so many ways ,but I should  say It is our own weakness and blind faith that we fail to recognize....

We may not be best with how other people especially in a relationship with us treat us or judge us,but we are definitely  the best in how we are committed, how we respect them,how we treat them and how we love and care for them💞.

Dear readers,we have been taught  that if we do things with full commitment , integrity and purity ..the results will always be positive..But they failed to tell us that this hypothesis doesn't hold for fake relationships.. Because  there is another person involved..and lack of purity from his or her side  also matters..and defines the fate of the relationship.So please stop blaming yourselves for a failed relationship..Move on..Life has so much to offer if you start looking for it with open heart...😊😊😊

 Waiting under the darkness of failures.. 

Namaste  everyone,

Have you ever  experienced or even asked someone , how it feels  while waiting for success in the darkness of failures..??

How disappointing it is?? ,I am quite qualified  to tell you how bad and helpless it feels..Ya, because I lived this life, felt it and took  a pretty lot of time to get over it...I must say it is not at all easy..

Dear readers, now also It's not like am super successful, it's just that I am moving forward ,I like what I do..I  feel the enthusiasm of getting up and pursuing my goal..I feel the positive energy...That's  it...nothing much to brag about..but I love what I do..That's enough..(A late realisation)

Although  it  takes immense  will power to accept that  we have been living a purposeless life...and coming out of it  is definitely a next level struggle for ordinary  people...but one more important thing here is once we decide to move forward ,during our journey  towards our goal  we many a times feel disappointed,  disheartened and helpless because the destination is obviously far and we ordinary people fall short of resources..(as we started late and we are underconfident  and sometimes under qualified as well).This is indeed the truth of life...Life is like that...

Achieving something special  as our dream needs preservance ,hardwork, integrity and commitment... This is noway a easy thing to achieve....I personally feel as  I went through  that phase like all ordinary people like me or rather I should say am still in that phase of waiting in the darkness of failures...It makes us desperate and restless..I know being there, holding on and continue to move forward is real difficult...No words can express  what is going on in our heads..as nobody can get it..unless until somebody has really went through this transition from a failed  purposeless and faded life to a life that is  worth, purposeful, happy,visible and confident...

The thing that somhow gives  us courage to move forward is the simplest possible ray of hope and that hidden feeling that our dream is also important and we are also worthy of success,I believe that might be enough for ordinary people like us who have rather dull and purposeless lives without this.. All through the past years of our lives we didn't value ourselves nor our dream..

This is no less than a rocket science  to motivate ordinary people like us who never ever did anything for themselves and believed for years altogether that they are unworthy and incompetent to achieve anything or follow a dream....After starting and after gathering immense courage,if they get repeated failures hanging on and continuing is real hardest...because we only know how hard it was to be ordinary, average and  adjusting ..Compromising our dreams ,our needs and our aspirations was not easy..We ourselves  donot want to be past version of ourselves..We do fear failure, we do fear judgements... Our dream is definitely giving us  huge inspiration to live, to perform and prove ourselves  to the world and more importantly to our ownselves...This darkness is overwhelming as although we are not sure about the outcomes, nobody is..but we can not  by any means quit...

Dear readers,without any visible results, I  very well know hanging on is damn difficult because we fall short of motivation,money and resources as well if do not get any expected results..but please do not get off balance, donot leave trust on yourself and please donot undermine the importance  of your dream for you... Your dream is directly related to your self confidence, commitment,more importantly to your purpose of life and a promise that you made to yourselves that you will not quit no matter what..😇😇😇

Not setting yourself free.

Not setting yourself free..

Namaste  everyone, 

 I believed  for the past so many  years that I am unworthy,unfit,unwanted and underconfident...

So any kind of success  is not meant for me...As a consequence of that  I started to pacify myself with this stupid thought that I will continue to live a purposeless, ordinary and average life only because I donot deserve anything that I really dream and want to achieve..and I am a misfit for a successful and confident life..Instead of trying even harder ,I chose the way of simply giving up as I personally felt that I will anyway fail even if I try...This thought process is  the biggest blunder we do to ourselves..

My own mindset was working against me..Being underconfident and insecure  is a different thing  from totally closing our minds to  the fact that we can declared ourselves  failure without even taking the first step...

We donot set ourselves free to follow our own dreams ...For us  personal achievements and accomplishments donot matter or I should say appear insignificant..We mark our own dreams insignificant and unimportant... 

Dear readers ,just ask yourselves the following questions and I hope their answers help you in  getting a confident mindset to follow your dream..

1.Why cannot we feel free to feel happy doing what we want to do and not what appears right  and justified to others..?

2.Why is taking small small steps towards our  own goal unimportant to us?

3.How can we convince others when we ourselves are not convinced about the importance of our own goal in our life?

4.Why are we  always comfortable in compromising what we really want?

5.Why are we unable to express our own feelings  to others?

6.Why can not we work on ourselves to improve and learn?

7.Why can not we just be ourselves and stop pretending?

8.Why we can't we take little time from  our own life for ourselves?

9.How come  living a purposeless life does not matter to us?

10.Why can not  we confess to ourselves that our own dream is as important as anybody other's?

11.Why can not we gather courage to face the world?

12.Why can not we gather courage to overcome our own weaknesses?

13.Why can not we stop agreeing to others point of view even if we disagree?

14.Why can not we raise our opinion if it doesnot matches the crowd?

15.How long we will continue to live a ordinary and purposeless life?

16.When will we remove this tag of loser and unworthy from ourselves?

17.When will we start?

18.Why can't we forget the past and  past failures and move forward?

19.Why can not we be financially and emotionally independent?

20.Why we have to be available for others 24/7?

21.Why are we our last priority?

The list is definitely endless..

Getting  answers to these questions  clearly indicates that our own mind is acting against us..We have to overcome these negative complexes that are  acting as hurdles in the  path towards our  own dream..There is no other way out..Think about it and Please work on it, Don't  waste your lives living a insignificant life..🤔🤔🙏🙏

God and Us...Is our love for God unconditional?

Namaste  everyone,
The presence of God in our life is inevitable,we all irrespective of our religion follow God...
We pray to God ,We thank God, if things go our way , We get angry,dissapointed and sad if outcome is not as we expect..We mostly blame God for not helping us and very little to ourselves for our failures in life...
God is a matter of faith and usually people approach God for something they need, be it  health,wealth ,prosperity or endless and ever changing wishes that we have with each passing day...
In real life we expect people around us to love us unconditionally but when it comes to God we love God only when God keeps on fulfilling our wishes..
GOD'S love for us is unconditional,God loves us  the way we are ,God excepts us the way we are with all our insecurities,successes and failures..with all our fears,with all our weaknesses..God is the only  person who does not judge us for being us..and most importantly  does  not expect anything in return..God is our only source of light that helps us to get away with the darkness in life..
We usually  fear God and not love him...
But the thing is,  normally people worship God for the  fulfillment  of their desires in life..without even knowing that things we ask from God rather sometimes  beg from God are not even good for us..
We all do believe  in almighty  and his powers..but does not believe  in his decisions  for us in life...we want everything to happen  according  to our judgements depending on our small experience  of life...
As life passes and surely with experience  we recognize  that all God's  decisions  for us were definitely  the best for our lives..People and things are added or removed from our lives according  to God's  will and definitely  for our betterment but we mostly fail to see when we are going through  those phases of ups and downs in  our lives..
We ordinary people believe  in God but Do we really trust  God for everything??🤔🤔.. We trust him for things that we  wish for and getting positive  outcomes of  everything we do in our lives..as long as things happen according  to our plans  everything is good,our belief is strong..but why our faith is so weak that when ever things start going against  our expectations, our faith also start getting  weakened...
The answer is obvious we donot love God truly unconditionally..We simply treat God as one who filfills all our wishes..and not as part of us only..If love is  unconditional nobody can waiver  our faith..but if it is based on ifs and buts ,we  will be definitely  losing faith...when life doesn't  goes as per our plans..
Even worse is the fact that mostly people attribute their success to themselves  and failures to God...
Even some people donot want to do  anything at all , they simply want and expect God to complete their work for them ..They simply  sit idle and keep on waiting for God's  miracles  in their lives😂😂..These  kind of people also do exist..
Dear readers,I have always been a simple person who believed  in God and his decisions  for me in life..and it is also 100% true that I also many a times disagreed  with God's  decisions  in my life..but as years  passed ,I realised how God saved me from absolute  disasters I planned for myself ,if everything would have been the way I wanted...God's  plans are definitely  the only way outs..God is with us ,we have to  seek God's  help and support  in life and not ask for God doing all the work or some kind of miracles...That will be total waste of life and I think disrespect  for God..
It's  not that miracles  donot happen  with people , but they are definitely  not common..but God standing by our sides to support us and give us strength  once we have decided to work hard is definitely  true..and every hard worker person has experienced that in someway or the other in life...God is not a Jinnie,however it many a times does turn for some who are really working hard  and true at heart...
We all have to trust God and his decisions  for us..it not only increases our faith but also makes life much much easier for everybody...😇😇💞

Know nothing person with no technology knowledge..

Know nothing person...

Namaste everyone,

When we make  up our minds to make a new start..after long mental fights with ourselves.. next hurdle that we face is that we donot have any  sufficient knowledge.. and exposure  to start something new, specific to our interests or epassions we love to do certain things but that knowledge  is so superficial  and less that it just cannot be immediately turned  into something that can give us great monetary benefits...so the key here is learning and upgrading yourselves  about a topic or hobby of your choice..learning little but new things everyday... I know it is going to be tough as I am also facing it and going through  it.. you and I can not lose hope now..
Bahut mushkil se toh start kar payen hain.. now we can not look back.. agar hum aisa apna thought process bana len ki hum ordinary log toh waise bhi kuch bhi  fruitful nahi kar rahe the apne liye.. for the past  so many years..then we have nothing to lose.. atleast now we are doing something.. our efforts  may appear insignificant  to others but these small steps will be milestones for our future.. nobody else knows how much courage  we have gathered  to start this new venture of ours.. kabhi kiya jo nahi kuch , kabhi kuch achieve  hi nahi kiya.. most importantly  kuch karne ke liye aspire be nahi kiya.. kabhi socha bhi nahi..,
We ordinary people are mostly not so aspirational or we can say professional  types..I want to make one confession here that
" dar abhi bhi lagta hai. par phir bhi  ab rukna nahi hain." Baby steps  se hi sahi  but we will move forward..😊😊😊and become better,  happy ,joyful ,healthy and successful  in whatever path we choose for our selves..

Life is beautiful??? If we decide to make it so...😊😊.

Life is beautiful..

Namaste everyone,

"Life is Beautiful",How easy it is to say, "kitna aasan hai yeh kahna  unke liye jinki life sorted hoti hai ,ya shayad doosron ko sorted lagti hai. Can not say.. Kabhi itna experience hi nai kiya...pata nai hoti hogi life beautiful... " To pass negative comments like this ,is quite easy and keep feeling sorry about ourselves , we continue to compare our lives with others and make ourselves  feel more and more miserable..but we always forget that nobody has a perfect life, koi bhi aisa nai hota jise koi problem nai hoti, bas humein apni problems jyada badi lagti hain... Although we do feel  helpless,we have no body to whom we can  just  simply go and say what  we feel..ya even if we express ,they donot understand or give much importance about what we exactly feel. Life aise hi chalti rahti hai bus...Sometimes na , even if we  decide to feel positive... of course jo jyada  time tak continue nai kar pate..What I have experienced is ,we fail to accept life as it is,life jaisi  bhi hai , use waisa hum kabi bhi poori tarah accept nai kar pate ,kuch na kuch problem nikal hi lete hain. kuch na kuch reason nikal hi lete hain depress hone ke liye..kitne stupid  ho jate hain hum.What is required is to face the reality , we   simply keep cursing life and fail to see anything beautiful  in life. In today's  world most of us might  not directly see the goodness  of life ,but with fresh  minds we have to look for it,I personally feel in the long run sooner or later we all will realise "Life is beautiful, it was beautiful  and will always be".Actually  it is our shortsightedness and pessimistic  approach  towards life that stops us from living life to our full potentials..Now I feel people who donot see the beauty of  life are stupid and immature..
We as individuals  never tried to look at the very basic privileges we always had..even in the times of crisis..Most of the people even lack them..We may fail miserable multiple times but this is not possible that out of may be hundred ways  even one way will not work.
Once we accept life as it is ,we can move forward with the next step to face it..We all know accepting harsh realties of life is not a piece of cake  for everyone ,but we have to accept it..The thing is we have no way out ,sooner or later we have to move forward accepting it. So instead of wasting days,months and years of our lives cursing life ,we have to come out with a solution ..Once the disease is diagnosed  we can move forward to cure it..
It's  easy for a person with  a pretty  successful life to say, "Life is beautiful.." But why cannot we ordinary people with failed lifes (as it may appear to us) let's  say it first that life is indeed beautiful and we will  put our best foot forward to make life beautiful..and definitely look for ways to make it so.😊😊😊