"My dream is important  to me.."

Namaste everyone...

I  have started  focusing  on my own small dream that completely belongs to me... It's  been two months now. Never before in my own life I realised that  a ordinary person like me can dare to have a dream of my own...Still seems surprising  to me..sometimes I  even feel of letting it go,I do feel scared..I also do feel very nervous because  I am  not getting expected results till date...then I  have to fight against  my own negative thoughts  and shout out loud reminding myself  that,"My dream is important  to me , I am all about my dream now .." 

I do not know what people will think or how they will  react when they will realise that a person like me can even have a dream of my own...It will be unbelievable  for many ,even for people very close to me.. mainly  because  over the years they have never seen me focusing  on myself in any possible way...

This change in me is not at all sudden as far as my inner feelings  are concerned..but it may appear sudden for people around me.As I have never been expressive  regarding my own feelings to others..I never say what I feel or want..Over the years I developed  a strong sense of unworthiness ..I was fit for nothing fellow in my own eyes...may be for others also..

I was struggling  in my own head..I had nothing that I really own..Daily I was asking God what is my worth...What is my  real purpose...
I  am having a lot of responsibilities  as  a mother of two kids and a wife ..I am a complete  family person.
But I was never responsible  for my own self..I  am dependent  on my family for everything..be it emotional  or financial... I have always been a weak and vulnerable  person..My  strong feelings of unworthiness  has nothing to do with my family..I donot know why , but my dream is growing roots deep within my mind ....Sometimes  I think it is driven by  the thought of proving myself to others and most importantly  to myself..."There is a lot of positivity  in my dream..I dream of really making my kids proud ,this feeling fills me with enthusiasm and zeal to move forward."

I am feeling hungry  for things that elevate  my self esteem and confidence...

I feel lonely..I may be suffering  from some kind  of depression..I don't know...I  may appear funny to people that know  me..They will be asking..what is wrong  in my mind ..I may appear a fool as they will judge me for following  my dream despite  having a wonderful life...

But they will definitely  not realise that ,Now my dream is important to me...I am going to follow it no matter what...😊😊😊😇😇

I will not allow people to tell me that " my silly dream will not be successful..as  usual.As I am a family person..I  have turned so dumb over the years that I won't  be successful  in whatever I will start ...and moreover there is no need for me to start anything new..It will be a time and effort wastage.."

All these things are not going to effect  me in any possible manner because my determination  is not weak  now as it used to be.."My dream is important as  anybody else's is..I may fail but I will not stop working hard on it..Turning  dreams into reality might be difficult  but not impossible.."😇😇