Dear Diary, I am Tired of failing...

Namaste  everyone,

This post was written by me in my diary when I was really tired of failing again and again despite trying the hardest and giving my best..hope you relate with it.

Many people like me who have lived and still continue to live ordinary lives..are really sick and tired of failing all the time..We never get expected results...not at par ever with our own expectations...we fail ourselves many a times or rather most of the times....
This pretty good track record of failing makes us deep down so... so underconfident and really sad...continuing becomes real difficult..The feelings of  unworthiness  are really empowering us..
What next...What is way out of this..?? Are we going to be like this all our lives...??All kind of negative thoughts  are hitting us real hard...We donot know whom to approach  for help..We are not at all vocal to others about the thoughts in  our head and feelings  in our hearts..

We never expressed that the little little things that we failed to achieve  were  very very important  to us...They were our little dreams..they were what we always wanted to be..
We wanted to be ,The real independent ones both emotionally  and financially..We proved to be failures all the times.. with no answers  or justifications at all..What are we really doing wrong ? What makes us fit for nothing ?Are we really unworthy?Why are we only destined for all this?
The repercussions  of failures are deep routed..they are definitely  making us very weak deep inside...they make our lives miserable and results in full financial  and emotional dependence  on others..that is not at all a healthy  choice for any individual..We are getting totally off track..Losing all the time is not easy..
Sense of some kind of accomplishment makes a individual  feel worthy of living..It makes  them feel happy and joyful..It definitely  gives them purpose  for life..A deep sense of feeling important and successful in our own eyes and also  for others is very much inspiring  for a individual  to carry on in life.. The sole purpose  of being successful  in achieving  our dreams is to make our ownselves and our loved ones real  proud..But failing all the time is really hitting hard...and most importantly gathering courage over and over again to start afresh is very easy to say but extremely  difficult  to accomplish...😕😕😕😕😕

How to Deal With Our Own Weaknesses..?

Dealing  with our own  weaknesses..

Namaste everyone,

Our life  can easily be summarized as a result of  how we conquered  our own weaknesses...

Ordinary people are usually not able to control their emotions that further turns into their weakness...
Being emotional is not a problem but being a emotional fool is a real problem..Having empathy for others,loving them,caring for them ,doing them favours..is not at all bad ..but things become out of control when we allow people to  use us for their own selfish motives that too at the stake of harming us in some possible way. In the way of using ordinary people some  selfish  ones not only hurt  them emotionally  but can also cause financial  damage..
Usually  we are attached to people  whom we love,be it family or friends..we have emotional connections  with them ..we are of course  emotionally  dependent  on them as well...but always remember  there is a very thin line between being used and helping someone.
We can not be simply blind in love or due to whatever emotional  reason.. and  allow others to use us to the extent they start  hurting us mentally..
"Emotions are for something that we really feel from the heart..they are heartful..there is no space of selfishness  in relationships  that are based on love and trust.."
Being  an emotional human being  is not the trait of a weak person..but when we allow people to use us for their selfish  motives and we continue  to allow them without any regret ,this is not our weakness but  shear foolishness..
Favours  are done amongst people out of love and friendship..
Having a empathy  or rather a soft corner for people is not a weakness but misusing other people's emotions is of  course  an offence..
We have to deal with it with self confidence..we allow people to misuse us or ill treat us or disrespect  us or reject us only because we easily revealed  to them that we are weak deep within and will not be able to do without them..This show off of our weakness allows people to treat us the way they want depending upon their needs or even moods..
   One very very important  point to be noted here is what are  reasons for ordinary  people being so emotionally weak, foolish , underconfident and insecure that some people are easily able to use  them and throw  them as per their  discretion..
The thing is they used us for whatever  selfish  reasons  of their's, still we were useful to them  in some possible way..we never used them,we simply  loved them and did favours out of a relationship that we  shared with them..Now if and only if we  decide to confidently  deal with our weaknesses...the other  selfish  person is and was never of any use to us..So quiting becomes the easiest, think about it..🤔🤔🤔

Why Everybody Is Faking Around?

Everybody is faking around….

Namaste everyone, 

What is happening all around us in terms of emotional turbulences is so detrimental that we all on day to day basis appear dissatisfied , disappointed and sometimes saddened as well..

Nobody appears  happy...Everybody  looks fed up, tired and lost in some sense..Everybody is so... so.. fed up but nobody wants to work on the solution..

"Everybody  is faking around...hiding their fears,  insecurities,disappointments, aspirations,weaknesses and many a times sadness...They pretend to be happy... Everybody is OK...but from  inside all are torn out.."

We all are stuck in the web of expectations ,some from others and some from our ownselves..When these expectations are somehow not met.. life and people around us stop making sense...

Dear readers,to move forward in life we have to stop pretending or faking ...We just have to first accept our own personality as we are, with no manipulations...We have to identify our own weaknesses and strengths.....We can not just fool around our inner own self..Because pretending something that we are actually  not can never take us anywhere we really want to reach....It may help to exist in society for some time..But with time everybody's true self  appears ...So why can't we always be what we really are..and Express what we really feel..So that relationships made and commitments done in every aspect  of life are based on purity and truth...thus are longlasting....

Dear readers,What others think of us should  no way bother us ,if we are  not insecure from within and our intentions are pure...Stop being the victim of your own assumptions about ourself from other's perspective...It does not matter at all...If you are true to yourself..

Try following things..

1.Be vocal about your feelings. 

2.Donot offend or abuse anybody in the name of proving your point..

3.Accept your weaknesses...first. 

4.Donot get affected by other people's comments or point of views about you..Be it positive or negative..

5.Donot seek approvals  for everything you do..

6.Own your actions..

7.Work hard on improving yourself and not on simply proving your point to others..

8.Do things that you yourself like or love to do and not to please others.

9.Donot forget to complete your responsibilities in the name of following your dream..

10.Donot lose hope if you get failures or harsh judgements from others .

11.Donot demean yourselves nor others by your actions or words..

12.Stop 

12.Be committed to yourself and your dream..

13.Donot be led by others point of view but you can take guidance..There is no harm in seeking help..But 100% dependence on others for everything is not acceptable..

14.Stop pretending..

15.Accept life as it is, donot jump to conclusions based on your fears and insecurities..

16.Always move forward,stop living in the past and judging yourself  on the basis of your past..

17.Help others in whatever possible way you can..

18.Distance yourselves  from all negativity be it about yourself or even other people.

19.Keep on improving your skill set..

20.Work  on self grooming and  self improvement..

Nothing is impossible, take the first step..Your pure commitment and hard work will guide you further..😇👍

 

Why I am Still Unchanged ?

Unchanged me...

 Namaste everyone,

Thank God ,time did not change me..The only thing that was left unchanged with time was me.Life's ups and downs never changed me in the sense that ....

1.I never stopped trusting people...

2.I never stopped Giving my best to them...

3.I always kept Choosing other's priorities over mine..

4.I Never betrayed anyone..

5.Always I was ready for help..

6.Doing favours and not asking anything in return was my way....

7.I Never expressed myself. I never let people know how I really felt...

8.Always available attitude of mine..

9.I have  never been  disrespectful to anyone..

10. I was always been  the simple,ordinary me that always wished good for everyone..Always prayed that I donot want to hurt anyone intentionally or even unintentionally...

11.Always adjusting  even if required sacrificing my own interest..

12.Never asked for favours from anybody nor even expressed my desires..

13.Nil expectations from others..The only thing expected was respect and honesty...

14.Never had a dream for myself..

15.Never raised my voice against anybody..

My personality traits donot seem to fit in today's so called successful world..Some people might see this as a flaw in my personality and that I was foolish,naive and underconfident  but for  me these above things mentioned were my strengths but irony is my strengths could never made me successful more importantly I never changed with time..

I personally never agree nor I give  any attention to other's thought process and perception about me ,It is my nature..I donot want to change...but One thing  that I totally lacked and regret is that ,"I never had a dream of my own,I was always OK being average,I never recognized or realized that I was living a purposeless life and was not at all motivated to achieve anything in life...This was indeed the biggest blunder I did to myself..."

Change is difficult but it is definitely inevitable ...

Changing for good , mending your ways ,improving  and learning with each passing day adapting to new environment is not easy for ordinary people but it is the thing we should definitely opt for..This is the need..As lately I also recognized our older ,ordinary and simpler versions donot fit in today's world.. 

The world where people value each other,give 100% to each other only out of love... Honesty ,integrity and commitment were the things people looked for in each other no more exist..It's not that every body is bad but selfishness has definitely taken over selflessness.. Priorities have changed..

After so many personal and professional  failures ,still ordinary people like me find it difficult to change..

Dear readers,I am never in favour of changing your personality  for the sake of fitting into the world but becoming strong and confident enough to face the world is inevitable...In absence of self confidence and atleast the courage to stand on your own be it professionally or personally you will continue to live a miserable and purposeless life..And this is a fact ...

The only way that may work for ordinary  people like me is to 

1.Work harder and harder  without losing hope

2. Focus on Self improvement and grooming in terms of improving our skill set.

3.Maintaining a positive mindset and hanging on, no matter what.. is the only way out..

As I personally feel we can not change inside out..We can improve and learn but we can not change our basic  nature....So ,Dear readers, Please donot change for the sake of others or for fitting in...but do improve and work upon your strengths...😇👍

"My dream is important  to me.."

Namaste everyone...

I  have started  focusing  on my own small dream that completely belongs to me... It's  been two months now. Never before in my own life I realised that  a ordinary person like me can dare to have a dream of my own...Still seems surprising  to me..sometimes I  even feel of letting it go,I do feel scared..I also do feel very nervous because  I am  not getting expected results till date...then I  have to fight against  my own negative thoughts  and shout out loud reminding myself  that,"My dream is important  to me , I am all about my dream now .." 

I do not know what people will think or how they will  react when they will realise that a person like me can even have a dream of my own...It will be unbelievable  for many ,even for people very close to me.. mainly  because  over the years they have never seen me focusing  on myself in any possible way...

This change in me is not at all sudden as far as my inner feelings  are concerned..but it may appear sudden for people around me.As I have never been expressive  regarding my own feelings to others..I never say what I feel or want..Over the years I developed  a strong sense of unworthiness ..I was fit for nothing fellow in my own eyes...may be for others also..

I was struggling  in my own head..I had nothing that I really own..Daily I was asking God what is my worth...What is my  real purpose...
I  am having a lot of responsibilities  as  a mother of two kids and a wife ..I am a complete  family person.
But I was never responsible  for my own self..I  am dependent  on my family for everything..be it emotional  or financial... I have always been a weak and vulnerable  person..My  strong feelings of unworthiness  has nothing to do with my family..I donot know why , but my dream is growing roots deep within my mind ....Sometimes  I think it is driven by  the thought of proving myself to others and most importantly  to myself..."There is a lot of positivity  in my dream..I dream of really making my kids proud ,this feeling fills me with enthusiasm and zeal to move forward."

I am feeling hungry  for things that elevate  my self esteem and confidence...

I feel lonely..I may be suffering  from some kind  of depression..I don't know...I  may appear funny to people that know  me..They will be asking..what is wrong  in my mind ..I may appear a fool as they will judge me for following  my dream despite  having a wonderful life...

But they will definitely  not realise that ,Now my dream is important to me...I am going to follow it no matter what...😊😊😊😇😇

I will not allow people to tell me that " my silly dream will not be successful..as  usual.As I am a family person..I  have turned so dumb over the years that I won't  be successful  in whatever I will start ...and moreover there is no need for me to start anything new..It will be a time and effort wastage.."

All these things are not going to effect  me in any possible manner because my determination  is not weak  now as it used to be.."My dream is important as  anybody else's is..I may fail but I will not stop working hard on it..Turning  dreams into reality might be difficult  but not impossible.."😇😇

Why are we  not ready to change or adapt...

Namaste everyone,
Why are we not ready to change or adapt??
In case of people with ordinary average  lives..this is quite a common trait..I personally  agree to this..Change is not easy for ordinary people..because we have  always  been living in a small shell where we continue  to live as underconfident ,introvert ,talentless individuals  who cannot dream  or dare to do  something  new ..
"The reason is obvious we fear to fail and so we never want to expose ourselves to the judgements of the world..."

Fear of failure is so much imbibed  in us that we are not able to adapt to any changes in our life or even small things in our daily routines..
Before starting the thoughts of routine changes in our life style (those are just superficial  changes)..but we are so insecure deep within that we can not even do that..Forget about the real changes we need to do to our pessimistic  mindset..
I personally feel we never ever focussed on self development. We always had  the mindset that nothing should  be changed..so that the dull purposeless life of ours continues seamlessly..
We have always been so much afraid to change  that although  we feel restless and anxious  deep within but are unable to change..To bring any  positive  changes to life or to improve our living standards  both financially and emotionally does  require a lot of effort and inner urge to achieve..
We want to achieve  things, if we get it some how by God's  grace or by other people's  effort..we can not do anything..because we keep on reminding ourselves  that even if we try we are going to fail,so instead of losing and getting self embarrassment, we never even try to start  or at least participate in something that requires changes within us as well as our environment  or daily routines..
We have to just  start  with a new thought..we have to take little time from our own lives for ourselves..we have to work on self growth..we have to learn something..we have to follow the dream that we buried deep within ourselves  just because we never gathered the courage  to pursue it..may be circumstances also did not favour us at that time...but stop bothering  about them now.. we have to be better then the previous  versions of ourselves..The goal is achievable..we have weaknesses..we are not the best ..we  shall from now onwards never stop ..we will become  better with each passing day..I also agree  these changes in our mindsets and external  environment will definitely  not be easy.. but there  is no way out.. We have to take ourselves out of this  feeling of being unworthy  or having a failed life...It may have been ,but is definitely not  going  to be like this..because  hard work and things done truly  from the heart always work😊😊😊.

 Follow Your Dream..

Namaste  everyone, 

This post is a collection of some quote's reels . HOPE u like it and relate..

 Why can't we agree to disagree??

Namaste everyone,

In our day to day lives,we have a lot of disagreements with people around us, be it our closed ones also but that noway means that we hate them as well..This thing or I should say thought is not as simple as it appears..

We usually mix disagreements with hate  and disrespect or sometimes even disregard for each other...but the thing is ,

If I like red and you like blue...It noway indicates that blue is  a  bad color and I should start to hate you ,because you donot like what  I like..This simple thought helped me identify a major reason that acted  as a deterrent in relationships...

As partners or as any two individuals it is a 100% possibility that our point of views can not fully match..We will  agree on somethings and disagree on others..We  actually fail to  respect or even recognize each other's opinions and try to force our's onto them...This forceful behaviour can last for sometime...but its not healthy,it's not legitimate.. It is in fact disrespectful and even sometimes disturbing for one of the partner and he or she starts feeling underconfident and insecure because their opinion doesnot matter and  even if they gather courage to express it ,It results in a rift or a bad fight or quarrel between the two individuals...

It is the  trait of some dominating individuals that they want their opinion only to matter without even giving slightest regard to what their partners feel and want to say..

To agree on each other's disagreements is not that difficult, if we  respect and trust each other completely..It is but obvious that one person's insecurities regarding disagreements on a particular thing results in a quarrel or  I should say some kind of rift between  the two individuals...

Dear readers,I personally feel we should give full freedom  to our partners to express themselves fully.. so that we very well know what is exactly going on in their heads and how exactly they are feelings..What is  our partner's view on a particular thing that affects our lives is definitely important..So how can we ignore it or even disregard it...One important point here is that if we are giving enough space to our partner's point of view and respect it ,the same behaviour is also expected from them as well...Because in relationships everything is mutual...The responsibility of the past ,present and future of a relationship lies on the shoulders of both the individuals and noway on any one of them...

I have seen a different  side of many people in relationships, because usually people fail to acknowledge or understand other person's feelings and fears...

Dear readers,Why can't we act as support system for our partners or for that matter everybody we come in contact with..

Always give enough space for even your naturally introvert or under confident  partner to flourish.. Act  as a positive support,be real and respectful....With unconditional support and love, you can definitely make your some how weak partner do wonders and achieve his or her dream..Be a constant support system...This is what is expected...

The irresponsible behaviour of one of the partner be like 

1.Taking the other for granted..

2. Misunderstanding  the other all the time..

3. Disrespecting  the other partner..

4. Occupying the personal space of the other forcefully..

5. Giving zero or very very little importance to other's point of view..

6. Prioritising yourself on your partner..

7. Giving high importance to your career and goals and giving  negligible importance to your partner's ambitions and regarding them as useless..

8. Not  trusting your partner..

9. Not  asking for your partner's choice or opinion or like or dislike..

10. Taking  decisions that affect both the partners without other's consent and sometimes even knowledge..

11. Forcing your superiority on the other in terms of finances,looks or any other stupid reason..

12. Using   your partner as a ladder for growth instead of a support system and even failing to recognize and acknowledge..

13. Making  fun of the weaknesses of your partner publicly instead of correcting him or her privately..

All the above mentioned acts  of  one of the partner result in resentment and in my personal opinion a kind of emotional abuse  people do to their partners..

Dear readers,Please accept your partners with their weaknesses and strengths..Create enough space for both of the partners to flourish and prosper in a relationship..Disagreements on things can not or I should  say must not be the reason of a failed relationship.. Disagreements are point of views..They are not judgements for parting ways..Opinion of both the partners should be equally valued..then only a  healthy relationship can survive the ups and downs of life..This is actually the only way out for the prosperity and mental well being of both the partners and for the success of the relationship as a whole..Think about it..🤔😊💞

Things Everyone Wants to Hear..Emotional musings..

Emotional  Musings..💞💞🥰🥰

Namaste everyone, 

I want to convey a sense of warmth and comfort through my.. Emotional musings.

I Hope u like it and crave to hear this....🥰

Why We Should Walk Away From a Failed Relationship?

Walking away from  a failed relationship...

Namaste  everyone
We are ordinary  people and never even had enough guts to really express our feelings to the world...or even to our closed family members..We are the typical  introvert types...I  personally  feel this  is nothing to feel sorry or feel underconfident about it..
This was our nature..we were never good at expressing what we really feel  and were never able to ask for what we really wanted....
But one thing we were always sure of, "We always have been pure and totally committed  to our relationships..."
I was never able to find answers to questions of relationships  failures..of people who were once deeply  involved and committed or may be appeared so..or were fooled or were  rather in a relationship for some selfish  reasons.....No body can guarantee  the success  or failure of relationships,if any one of the person in the relationship  has something fishy or any  selfish motive for coming into a relationship... 

Most importantly  the failure of relationships  can be clearly  attributed  to the fact that one of partner has no intentions left to nurture  the relationship and other partner being emotionally  more attached continues to give more than 100% to balance the deficit created by the other  uninterested partner.
The thing is weaker person in a relationship who somehow  wants to continue the relationship  because of being  truly involved and never had enough courage to walk away ....
Walking away is never easy for weak people  because their feelings are absolutely  true..and moreover they feel so underconfident  about themselves that they are not able to handle rejections ...
Walking away and getting  over a relatioship that failed definitely requires courage beyond words...specially  for people who even have failed professional  lives as well..
The main point here is for walking  away from a relationship  that failed due to whatever reasons, you once felt as if that relationship  was your only world and you  never imagined  life beyond  that...
The only way for walking   away is through some kind of distraction ..The distraction is the saviour here...otherwise we will get overwhelmed  with emotions and memories  from the past that were actually fake and meaningless..Actually when our love changes into an addiction, we also do not come to know unless the other person shows his or her true colors..Most importantly we ordinary people keep on giving more and more chances even after multiple  betrayals  and insults...
In addition to that we ordinary ones are so so committed and invested so much of our lives and emotions that walking away or getting  over it seems impossible..
 I know  totally getting over anything to which we are so much emotionally  involved  requires  great deal of motivation  and self belief...Starting  life all over again without someone  whom you disillusioned as your life is of course   very difficult..
Dear readers , Please do not continue any relationship because of any of your own emotional weaknesses..Be true to yourself..stop  compromising your self respect for selfish and fake relationships...They donot deserve  your lifelong true and pure emotions..It's  not worth it..Life is important.. and people that truly love you unconditionally should be part of it and definitely  not those for whom you are fulfilling  some of their vested interests...Those people for whom your emotions never had any vàlue..never respected you  never trusted you..should never be part of your lives..
Start  finding  ways , start investing  in yourself, start giving  yourself love and respect  you truly  deserve..Donot let others define your worth on the basis of a failed relationship...
Losing a person who truly loves  you is a loss  that can not be filled easily..but  you didn't  lose any body,  the relationship  was  definitely  not true..It was fake and never deserved  your true and pious  feelings..It is definitely  the loss of the person who despite  of being in a relationship  doesn't  give his or her 100%...and was never truly committed...

Life is not perfect..for any body but life is precious...

Life is not perfect but life is precious...

Namaste everyone,
Today I am quite  depressed after seeing news of suicide  of actor Sushant singh Rajput.. yeh nahi hona chahiye tha.. I donot know him personally but liked him as an actor and also used to follow him on Instagram.. Nobody knows what he was going through in his mind.. because his superficial  life appeared very attractive to everybody.. but there is no doubt that some thing was terribly wrong..that forced him to take such a drastic step ...
What is our perception of life..everybody wants a happy ,go lucky life ..sabko ek perfect life chahiye..par life is never perfect..it is  our wrong perception  that life is perfect for others and not for us..we donot even know what others are going through .. now days most people donot even know what there closest family members  are going through...pata nahi kis cheez ke peeche bhag rahen hain hum sab,humein  khud nahi pata..Apne mind made perceptions   ko jo mostly real bhi nahi hoti unhen sach manke .. most of us feel depressed  all the time..,kyunki kuch achieve karna hai sabko..ek never ending competition  mein hain..hum sab..yeh competition  unhealthy  hai,kyunki yeh  hum khud se compete nahi kar rahe ,apne aap ko improve karne ki koshish nahi kar rahe..we are just trying to be better than others..that is why we are bound to fail  and  we feel disappointed.. we feel rejected..its a never ending process.. how others look at us ,how they judge us,what irrelevant  comments they pass upon us ..they donot even know what we are going through.. that is unimportant, believe  me that is unimportant..but the problem here is why we  react to or even believe  their judgement ..and sometimes  make it our reality.. from here exact problem  begins..these judgements of other have devastating  effects  on our self confidence and esteem..
I personally feel we ordinary people are not definitely  that strong to remain unaffected ..of course everybody gets disturbed  by any kind of negativity  they feel about themselves..in the eyes of others..but we have to choose not to react.. or be effected..because our life  is our responsibility ,we are not only responsible  for ourselves but also for our family members and loved ones... we just cannot take any drastic step like ending our lives or doing any kind of harm to ourselves.
We can be ordinary but we  can not  be irresponsible ..Ending life is no solution... Even  if we have lost interest in our own lives ,we have to live for our loved ones..we can not be this selfish.."Please please  please I request  everybody who is feeling depressed  or low for any damn reason...please donot harm yourselves...it is definitely  not the solution,just have a thought that ending your life will no way solve the problem you are facing..this too shall pass..Please donot allow a weak moment to overpower you ..."
If you can not do it for yourself  ,do it for your family,for people who love you ,donot be soo.. selfish, stop living for yourselves.. you donot find it worth it  , live for your loved ones think about them before taking any wrong steps...Life is precious..think of people  who donot even  have things atleast you have..
Make a new start..things will start falling in place...sab theek ho jayega..everything  will be alright...that's for sure..I truly believe  in this...😊😊😊

Follow your dreams ,Time is running out..

Follow your dreams, Time is running out..

Namaste everyone,
We are ordinary people , the introvert kind,we are unexpressive and unimpressive..types..All these  traits I totally understand, we all have  felt  and lived with..but the thing is for how long we have to be like this.."Time is running out"..It is definitely the truth of life that, Time stops for none..we have already wasted so many days , months and even years of  our precious life with the feeling of no self worth or importance..I am not sure about what others think about us..but i am definitely  sure that over those low  times of ours  we ourselves  never thought good or appreciative  about  ourselves ..we feel like failures for the whole life,bloddy losers, who can not do anything..
I totally agree that we donot have a pretty  good track record..we have failed..we were miserable..I agree ,i was also the same..but for how long we are going to be like this..???Are we the immortal  ones, waiting for some miracles to happen..that will change our pretty boring lives into the most attractive and sort after ones.. No...definitely not..Stop disillusioning  your ownselves. We have to make a fresh start ,irrespective  of our age, gender ,qualification , looks ,family backgrounds, financial  status and whatever that limits us from doing what we really want to..
Some people may have the privileges of financial status or looks or a sound financial  background..but mostly people lack them..The one common thing that every individual  has is his or her ablity to work hard if they they are determined  to do so..It is definitely  not easy..,you must have read success stories of so many people who really worked hard  they believed  in themselves..even though  they failed many a times but they refused to stop pursuing  their dreams big or small..Hard work is the key, everybody knows this..but very less people make it the Mantra of their  lives..
The only way of motivating ourselves that works is feeling our goals in life to be as important as are air , water , food and shelter..as if there is  some existential crisis ,If we donot feel the hunger of doing something  good for our ownselves , people around us, society  and world as a whole ..We never feel motivated enough.We have to feel as if we are out ot breath  without our goals..then only we will  feel motivated enough.. otherwise people like us will never change their way of thinking ,their lifestyles, their mindset..because continuous  rejections and failures in life have made us so indifferent  towards  our ownselves...The sense and feeling of existential  crisis  can act as a booster shot for us moving forward  with our dreams..We lack purpose of life..even if our thought pattern is not changing instantly, of course  it will take time..because this mindset was built over years..but ,let's  start with doing something good  for others as a special  task for revamping  our own lives ..Small small changes made to pretty  ordinary lives can make huge difference  over a period of time..I am pretty hopeful  about this..I am also in  a transition phase..I am also trying..I am not at all saying it's  goning to be anyway easy..but after making a start and winning the battle with my own mind that always told me that i am worthless and canot achieve anything..One thing i am  damn sure that desired results will be achieved..If the journey  is so exhilarating  ,than of course  destination will also be..I am myself seeing little little improvements  in my own personality  and confidence level is also building up..If making a start can work for me ,i am 100% sure that it work for even the weakest..The need of the hour is to gather all our energies in something constructive , joyful ,blissful or simply that brings a smile tand makes feel  happy..😊😊

 We fail because we are never driven by passion.

Namaste everyone,
Over the years if I look back in the past I didnot achieve anything professionally and rather lost whatever skills I had because of my education..Years passed and I kept forgetting...Actually  I merged my expectations  with  my family's  expectations..and stopped expecting  anything for myself from me ,forget about others.
When we are young..we all have a lot and lot of dreams..but only few are really successful  and remaining  become the part of the crowd..Have you ever wondered why??
Humein khud hi nahi lagata ki hum kuch remarkable  kar sakte hain..humein bus life adjustment  mode mei hi jeeni hai.
Doing compromises and adjustments   are not at all bad traits of a individual..it clearly indicates how strong we are..but the thing is  ,Why we have kept all our strength  and energies for adjustments  related to others for making them happy..??Why can't we save little strength and energy  for our  own selves...??

When I was small I always dreamt of becoming  a doctor..but in the competitive  exams I could not get enough marks to get a MBBS seat , but I  somehow got a seat in a private Engineering college,Although I never liked it..But sonehow adjusted because  my parents  didnot want me to waste a year for MBBS preparation  and also they were satisfied  about it. So I also simply carried  on with it..after that I also did M.tech..just because I thought I can go for a teaching job in future..but the thing was, for both these things I was never very much interested  ,but my parents had a thought that my qualifications will secure my future and I will get a job after my kids grow up..but I could not get anything  from it because I was never interested  in anything  related to it..
Muje bus shayad Engineer  ka tag lagana tha,muje Computer Engineering  mei koi bhi interest nahi tha,but hamare time pe Computer's  engineering  bada trend mei tha..so I opted for it..
And till date I continue to carry the burden of my qualifications( as my father keeps on  saying "you wasted your qualications"), and could not  get  anything from it exactly..
Because for teaching in schools they say I am over qualified..and give justifications  that ,Will I be comfortable  teaching small kids MS-word ,MS-excel and so on..and for colleges I am under qualified  because I am not a PHD. So I was hanging in between..
Now that I realise, fault was  all mine , because I choose to please others before myself..and moreover middle class kids donot have  plenty  of options..but I do realise wasting a single year would  not have harmed my career  that much then choosing something  in which I had absolutely  no interest at all did.I failed to  achieve simply because I was not driven by passion  or my interests..
"Now that I want to do what I feel like doing I do have a lot responsibilities, I can not just jump out of the bed and start doing whatever I feel like doing.."
But now  I atleast make it a point that after completing  my household and family responsibilities   I do find some time to write and express what I feel ...Writing my heart out in my blog ,I feel satisfied and burden free..as if I released  weights from my head....I know I have just started and its  a long journey..I am not that popular  also..😊😊.But this thing I really feel passionate  about..I want to relate to people and want to somehow connect to them and want to prevent them from making life changing decisions that can result in failures..I want to motivate them to start new journeys  with things they love to do ..We should not have  any regrets  about life..that we had a life without any passion or purpose...😊😊

FOMO..

FOMO,Fear of Missing Out

Namaste Everyone,

I have been trying  to somehow motivate,help and move along with  my readers who are on a new journey of following their dream and let them know that how important  it is to have a dream and to follow it with all heart and 100% commitment.. along with me...because I have been through  this and am still part of it..I was myself  always filled with Fear of missing out,FOMO...

It is because  for ordinary  people like me the journey  is more difficult as we are very weak mentally and lack purpose  and confidence ..We never experienced any kind of success to feel worthy or important...we were the average types...the loser types..

We all have that stupid feeling of FOMO,fear of missing out..Yes, I totally agree ..We fear failures...but let me remind  you it was this FOMO only that kept stopping us for years altogether  to follow what we really  wanted to do,what we really loved to do,kept us away from what was our real calling...It damaged our future, our aspirations and more importantly our confidence, This FOMO kept us insecure in our minds and stopped us living life to the fullest..

After years  of wasting  our lives without purpose  we will definitely have the realisation that we always felt or preassumed that we will fail...What will people think of us?What is wrong with us?These thoughts kept our minds occupied  with negativity...

Negativity drags us deep down into more of insecurities and confusion about our own abilities  to achieve  some thing ..

We had all kinds of fears... FOMO already degraded our lives  and a lot of things were missed for years ,that we would have achieved or  I should say we would have been reached atleast much much closer to our dream... FOMO never allowed us to express our feelings truly because we feared of losing people..It never allowed to follow our passion because  we felt it will take us to no where and eventually we will fail..We feared public opinion ,we feared of even trying ,we feared of judgements of others about us and our dream...

When you are in extreme darkness of failures ,If they are professional they can be somehow managed but when it comes to personal, gaining just a slightest motivation to carry on  seems to be impossible...Personal failures  are much more damaging...... Without love ,support and care of our loved ones nothing makes sense...No accomplishment looks worth it if you donot have our loved ones...For some emotional  people this fear of missing out their own loved ones is even more challenging then  losing their dreams and they keep on compromising their aspirations, their dreams for the sake of relationships...

I personally  feel  there is nothing wrong in it...but to the extent that it does not completely  damage your individuality...Because in that case you will be left with  so much emptiness that can not be filled and we will be left with depression  and insecurities...

Dear readers, FOMO, is nothing but just another hindrance in our way to our dreams..Donot  give attention to it,It just exists in a enhanced way in weak and insecure minds..This is only inversely  proportional to mental strength and commitment towards our dream ...More confident and committed we become more weak this FOMO gets...Please donot give any attention to any negative thoughts that  deviates us from achieving our dream and living life to our full potential...This is your precious life please donot waste it for things that donot  have any existence or importance...Donot let any fears to stop you...Make a commitment to yourself...❤❤❤

What is confidence?

What is confidence?

Namaste Everyone,

What is confidence?

 Confidence for  me is accepting yourself as you are and not  pretending to be someone else according to the  circumstances in life.Our focus should  be on things we are able to do without  worrying about what we can’t do!

I just want to share a short story of mine here ..when I was in Ist standard,  I was selected  for a poem recitation competition in school ..I prepared well and I was confident..but when I went on stage,before reciting the poem as we have to introduce ourselves and greet  Principal Sir , teachers and fellow friends..but as I was very small at that time and could not see where Principal  sir was sitting(sounds funny now😂) and so could not  greet him before starting.. because of this I stood numb there, did not start ..I could not utter a single word and finally my teacher came  to take me  off the stage..but as a little kid I felt very insulted, this little incident had such a huge impact on my childhood days that I never ever dared to participate  in any individual  competitions .Stage fear was soo..much in me that I never even tried once..I remember my teachers asking me again and again as I was good in studies to participate but I never did..I was afraid  of failing again..and thought not participating will protect me  from this fear of failure..Not participating  will protect me from judgement of others..At that time I used to make thousands of excuses  for not participating..but now I strongly feel that One incident deprived me from enormous  opportunities  that were offered to me in my school days to prove myself but I failed to grab even one of them..

This one thought that I  will fail gets into our heads soo much...The thing is we may fail and not that we will definitely  fail..but fear of failure  stops us from living life to our full potential..I now completely  agree with the fact that self confidence  is the game changer..We have to believe  in ourselves...It is the thing that can change our ordinary lives to extraordinary..  Confidence does not guarantee  100% success  rate,but atleast  it will be higher than 0% in case we donot try at all..

I am also quite a ordinary  individual  but with no notable achievements  in life,but now that when I analyse my past life,I wasted precious  childhood years that could have been filled with many  little achievements, I myself deprived me from them..I feel this lack of confidence held me back always, stopped me from doing what I really wanted and was really good at..It stopped me from living life fully..It stopped me  and made a strong impression in my mind that I am average,can not achieve anything ,so I must go and stand in the last of the queue..

I request everyone reading this please donot undermine  yourself  by small small failures ,donot label yourself as average..We all are special in some sense ..We all are precious and are capable of achieving  anything we want to ..but for that  the minimum  requirement  is we should not stop trying..and PLEASE  PLEASE..never ever stop believing  in yourselves... 😊😊,keep trying..

Disagreements in relationships..

Namaste everyone,
In our day to day lives..we have many confrontations with people around us, be it  our family members, friends, kids or colleagues or anybody that we come in contact with..It is not necessary  that we will be agreeing  with other people's perspective and opinions about things happening around us all the time..
Disagreements are bound to happen because we all are  totally different  individuals..And This is absolutely fine...but things get out of control when people force their point of view on others and want others to agree forcefully and when they don't, they end up abusing each other or insulting each other and finally hurting  each other badly..
Mostly dominating people can't handle disagreements.. They even want  everybody  around to agree  with them all the time..
In relationships  this dominant  behaviour will definitely  create unrest in the mental peace of the other partner..
Usually ordinary, simple people in relationships continue even with the dominant  behaviour of their partners out of love or sometimes  due to their own insecurities  and underconfident behaviour.. but things  get out of control  and one of the partner starts hurting other partners self respect and self esteem..
Even after they say sorry,that sorry is unable to pacify the other  because the person actually never meant it but just said it for the sake of saying..Mostly people donot even bother  to say sorry for their insulting behaviour to the other..They donot bother what the other person felt and how badly it affected their self respect..
There are even certain shameless traits of people who say sorry..but on the other hand continue  with their abusive and insulting  behaviour  as well...
Ordinary people fail to see a way out of such a relationship...Only because they donot want to loose their partner or sometimes because of their own emotional and financial  insecurities..
Saying Sorry  without actually  feeling it  will definitely  be never enough..because when one  of the partner says sorry for a thing done either intentionally  or unintentionally, it soothes the other partner  who is hurt..and creates a trust that this hurtful behaviour will not be repeated..but not everybody is lucky enough to get partners  who  never intentionally want to hurt their other better half ,but due to any reason if they do so..their heartfelt "Sorry" is  definitely  enough..if  and only if it is really said from the heart and in future the mistake done or that particular abusive or disrespectful behaviour is not repeated..

Agreeing to each other's  disagreements  and accepting  each other as  we are...is what is all that is expected from a true relationship..
But the reality is people disagree with each other and want the other to always agree but they themselves  are not ready to accept  the other partner with his or her disagreements..
Dear readers, in true and healthy  relationships  both the partners are equal..Point of view of both the partners  matters equally.. Disagreements will happen,rather I should  say if there  are absolutely no disagreements something  is definitely  wrong...🤔🤔
If we respect  each other we will definitely   respect  each other's  perspective and thought process ..In a relationship we have to give each other enough space ..We can not simply overpower each other's  thought process  or force them to agree with us all the time..Nobody is perfect..not all relationships  are similar..No individuals nor their situations are similar....but if  the relationship  is pure and true,we only need to give our partner respect, care, trust and love..
I always give more priority to respect ,care and trust even over love...Some readers will find it strange because  they will give the justification  that love itself should be given the first priority..But I personally  feel relationships that lack respect,care and trust can never ever survive  for long..These relationships  are fake and with time love between the two also diminishes..Love might be there in the relationship but the foundation of the relationship is weak and little ups and downs of disagreements can easily disturb it to the core..I personally feel  their love was not more than a mere attraction...
Love can never ever survive  without respect and trust...Please nurture your relationships  with respect, trust ,care and lots and lots of love..This is the only essence  of life...because without our loved ones life appears to be empty and purposeless..💞💞

How to differentiate between  right and wrong decisions in life?

Namaste  everyone,
How to differentiate between right and wrong decisions in life?This question kept bothering  me all the time and  I think everyone  faces this question  back in their minds quite often..during various moments or even stages of life..
I am a ordinary person and had a pretty much  unsuccessful  professional  life.Now that I look back in the past.. My life today is clearly the consequence of decisions  I took early in my life..Everyone relates with this fact..The point here is that the decisions we took  were good for us or not..As far as my failed track record is concerned  I have been a average person,with lot of failures ..Actually  I donot have much to tell or say about success because  I never felt it..How disspointing is that..Ya it is very very dissapointing  or I should say its heart breaking...as far as I am concerned...but over the years I realised at different  phases  of life we have to take decisions that affect our personal  and professional life..This is true ..but this is also true that we have to make although  small decisions  or rather choices on daily basis as well..They also affect us... The consequences  of our decisions are sometimes  positive and sometimes negative..
"With positive outcomes we donot become any changed person ,we are still the same deep within if the outcome comes negative...but we start defining our ownselves  with the outcomes of decisions  we took..."
People judge  us by the outcomes of our decisions  all our lives..We start believing  their judgements..
Everything goes pretty well if somehow our decisions  come out to be successful ,we are labeled as successful , intelligent and extraordinary ,till any of our decisions results in a huge failure...and people start calling us failure for life..and we as the dumbest creatures of the world.. make it our reality and even stop trying and doing something to improve our situation..
Pretty ordinary people like me whose  most of life decisions  resulted in failure become so underconfident  and insecure that we lose even the simplest decision making powers..We even feel underconfident to choose a perfect dress that suits us ..we need to seek approvals   for every thing we do..

"The main reason behind our failed life was not that we took the bad or wrong decisions  all the time all our life...but it was lack of self belief and  most importantly we  always quit in between ,we stopped  trying again..we made other people's judgments our reality..we were weak, we were introvert and we were underconfident too..but the thing that stopped us from moving forward was we ourselves..we only proved all our decisions were wrong because once facing failure  at any particular point we simply stopped ,we did not thought  of any alternate ways to restart..we did not look for other plans to make things work..It was all our own weaknesses  that were totally responsible  for our failed life ..our wrong decisions  can delay our success but we decided to quit  and that is why we failed...We ourselves  gave up on ourselves that was the reason of our failed  and a pretty average  life today and not our decisions.."
Nobody can 100% be sure about the outcome  of any decision ,so in the fear of a negative outcome or even after getting  a failure we  just can not stop..moving ahead...These  are really big blunders  we do to ourselves if we simply stop..and then as time passes we are only left with regrets..that why we didn't  give ourselves  another chance...
So ,Please  I want to request you all reading that please donot stop in between, donot stop chasing your dreams..you will not be successful  all the time, all your decisions  might not be fruitful..but please donot give up...once life passes like this we will not be able to rewind anything..Whatever you want to do ,start now,own your mistakes and decisions  ...keep improving..Success  is assured..😊😊😊😊 
You can also go through the below post  to  that describes reasons of failure in life👇🏻👇🏻

https://myheartfultalks.blogspot.com/2020/07/failures-and-success-in-life.htmlhttps://myheartfultalks.blogspot.com/2020/07/failures-and-success-in-life.html
https://myheartfultalks.blogspot.com/2020/07/we-fail-because-we-are-never-driven-by.html
https://myheartfultalks.blogspot.com/2020/07/we-fail-because-we-are-never-driven-by.html