Just start being you..That is what matters..

Namaste  everyone,
We have been telling ourselves from the past so many years  that we can not be successful  in anything we do,how small  it may be..we always used  to think that success  is not meant for ordinary average people like us...we are not worthy enough, we are not lucky enough..We never even had the urge to be successful ..It was mainly  because of our own thought processes..that were  filled with fears and insecurities.I  am sharing mine here👇👇
My thought process over all these years was like," I  couldn't  have a successful  career,but that does not matter much for me because I have closed all possible doors for myself with the strong mental belief that success is not meant  for me and  I will be like this all  my life..but will always support others ,be it  in any possible way I could..I was always very supportive  and positive for others around me..I was always ready to share my piece of cake with them..all the time..I always wanted people around me or anyone I may not be knowing much about to be successful, I had inner strong sense of positivity for everybody and was always happy for other people's  success  and achievements...but not for myself."
But this is quite strange and absolutely  true after wasting (I shouldn't  be using the word wasted) so many years ,very lately I realised ,I was definitely  very positive and supportive  for everybody but never for my ownself.. Deep within actually I was filled with negative emotions and sense of unworthiness. May be I was having the thought  process if I couldn't  succeed atleast help others  to be successful..I was actually a weak and under confident  person deep within..
Lately I realised how can a pretty unsuccessful  person  be eligible for motivating others ,I was telling people  things that I was never ready and courageous  enough to follow.
Definitely  I was faking myself..I was faking that success  is not important  to me..actually  because of the fear of failure  and public judgement ,I was never able to gather the courage  to follow my dream or to do what I  really feel like doing..I hid my own aspirations  from myself..I myself was my own biggest enemy..My fears were far bigger then my dream..I couldn't  overcome  my fears..but I was definitely  telling  others to do so..but never followed  them myself..
There was no need of me pretending  to be a different  person to myself and to the world.."I just had to be  me..that was it..But I could  not even gathered  the courage  to do so..I was my last priority.."
But not anymore..I am definitely  finding it damn difficult..but atleast I have started trying..I am still lacking confidence but I am trying..one funny thing I would like to say here  is  I am writing  my heart out in my blog www.myheartfultalks.blogspot.com 

But  I have not shared the links  to my own family or even told them about my blog as yet..From this you can imagine  how weak and under confident  I have been all my life..I am giving myself the time I need to make it successful ,I myself donot know how long this is going  to take..but one thing am sure I am improving with each passing day..That is important.. My self confidence and self belief  is dragging me towards my goal although very slowly  everyday..And that is what matters  for me..😊😊😊

The ray of hope...can work wonders...

The ray of hope can work wonders...

Namaste  everyone,
On our journey  towards our dream we confess that   despite being very motivated initially, we really start feeling low because there are no results at all..I know we are trying hard ..I also know we have become so passionate  about it that it drives us further to move forward..but lack of results demotivates us ..And it is true for all positive  persons as well..
"what we look far is a ray of hope..but while waiting for that moment  for something to click,we definitely feel frustrated and helpless in the absence of results but we  can not stop in between..while we look for a ray of hope from anything ,be it in the form of some appreciation or some kind and motivating  words from others especially  our loved ones can of course  do wonders..."
Unfortunately  most of us lack that ..so What should we do now?There is no one that backs our dream..two possibilities ,one is to stop and start living your purposeless life again or the second one to work further harder..The choice is yours..

But one thing I would like to add learning from my  experiences  towards my  dream is that ,"Please keep on motivating a weak, average person..Even if there was nobody for you ,but atleast you be there for somebody else". It may not be important  for you but for the person who is following  a dream its  important..It can drive them further no matter what..In the lack of results motivation and hope is the only key..
I have felt how hopelessness , discomfort and anxiety grips us when we fail again and again..I very well know and have felt as well that it is not easy...no way..
"Hope" that the day  for what we strive  for will definitely  come..At least with each passing  day we are moving forward  only..We have to train our mind to keep working  towards our goals.
The problem  with ordinary average people is  over the years they have never experienced  success  neither they worked hard enough  to achieve  it..Actually  fear of failure  was  so much imbibed  in us that it prevented  us to use our full potential  to follow what we really wanted or dreamt for..It is of course  a reality check , we have to except it.. 
Now after so many ifs and buts we somehow  gathered courage  after years to pursue something to live for,some purpose..even in the absence of any hope from outside circumstances  and people around  we just can never even think of stopping..Only road available  is the one that takes us towards our dreams..
To keep our hope lit and spirits high ,we have to look inwards.
 Ask yourselves the following  questions :

1. Why can not ordinary  people have a dream to follow? 
2. Why can't  they achieve  something independently?Why can not they have something  that they can call their own ?
3. Why can not they be worthy enough?  
4. Why can not they expect big from life ? 
5. Why can not they just stop being average  and part of the crowd ?
6. Why can't they just be real ? 
7. Why can not they just stop pretending to be happy?
8. Why can not they move forward for something that really satisfies  their soul and gives them a real sense of accomplishment ?
9. Why can not they start living rather than simply existing?
10. Why can not they  choose  to be really happy and joyful from within?

If answers to these kind of  questions  is a big YES, then there  is  still hope ..The ray of hope that can work wonders ,is the guiding force  deep within all of us .. we need not look ouside for that..We have to develop  a sense of self acceptance,confidence, self esteem  and trust that we can do it..Most importantly faith in "GOD" can also take us to where we really  want to be in life..😇😇

Why do we feel disheartened in the absense of expected results...??

Namaste everyone,
This post I have written to my diary ,my friend to whom I can easily discuss my weaknesses and fears..
Dear diary,
You know how much courage I gathered to start what I really wanted to achieve ,something that I own...small yet the most important for me,My dream...
You know me, how weak I have been..With the  lowest confidence ever and a lot of insecurities I  decided to start...but now that I am on my way, again I am feeling lows because of absence of any success indicators so far...I am afraid...I do not want to lose now..I just can not stop now, neither I want..It is my dream and you know it..
Why these fears are empowering me...I am losing confidence..The enthusiasm with which I started  and determination I had  are slowly fading... I am not seeing any results coming till date..
What next??You know very well that I never really achieved anything in life...and you also know that I have been  a average person who never even wished for achieving something for my own self..You know me , I have been an introvert all my life..pretending to be "Ok"...with what I was...
You very well know that how energetic and excited I  was with my new dream..My energy levels are lowering now .What if I again fail ??... "No" ,I do not want to fail...otherwise it will be the hardest to start all over again..I have been weak and insecure all my life..
You know how desperate I am to make myself proud , I equally wanted to make my kids proud..This  dream is my need not my want...
But I can not stop now , I  affirm that I will not stop now..no matter what... “God ,please guide my way...I need your guidance and support ...”
 One thing I am realising is dreams are never easy to achieve for anybody...but continuous  hard work ,patience and believe in yourself are the only driving forces and nothing else..
If your dream is as important as if it poses an existential threat to your existence then nobody will   ever stop or even think of quitting..😇😇😇.

Fulfillment of my own hopes and expectations from me..

Namaste everyone,
Like every other person  in this world we all have some expectations and hopes from ourselves...I am here not at all focusing  on expectations  from others..focus of this post is totally on expectations  and hopes from our own selves..
We are unsuccessful average  individuals who have not achieved  much in life that  is even worthy or  incredibly outstanding...we do have pretty  average  lives..we never achieved  much in life..every thing achieved was  average or sometimes  rather below average...
But is this not true that we always dreamt of a successful  life deep in our hearts..but obviously  we failed that too miserably to achieve  it...
We were never able to gather courage  to follow what we really loved to pursue or do..Dreams are definitely  easy to see but difficult  to achieve.. Dreams require courage,confidence and committment...
The thing is all people are not equipped  enough mentally  and physically ..nor are fully qualified to achieve them..I personally  feel, this is true..but knowing this what next??..Answer is simple..we have to work on it..we have to improve ourselves on daily basis, we have to learn  new things..we have to keep moving forward,we have to generate  sense of self confidence and the belief  that our dream is definitely  achievable and we will achieve  it...Results may not start coming the  very first day...we can not stop midway..we can not stop in the absence of expected results..we have to keep believing that we deserve  to win with our hard work and continuous efforts...
Fulfillment  of my own hopes and expectations  from me is the most important  for me,I will  not be anymore bothered  about what will the consequences of my efforts  or how long it will take  for me to taste a bit of success..I will keep on trying...
This thought  process is the only solution possible for making a dream really come true,there can not be any driving force from outside that drive us towards our real goal but it is the strength  within...
External enviornment and people around us can either motivate or create hurdles for us..but if the spark wothin us is lit if we are determined  enough from inside...nothing can deviate  us from our goal...
It is our own weaknesses  that over power us and not the external factors..It is true that external things and people can  either weaken or enhance our moral but if we are not motivated enough  from deep within  they can not effect us or stop us...
"We are fully responsible  for our own lives..we should stop blaming others and circumstances  for our failures..."
External factors and  people acting  against us can some how delay our goals but to stop pursuing  them is always our own decision  because  instead of  trying harder we simply decided  to stop..
We have to choose  between  continuing  to live a failed purposeless  life or keep trying to achieve  what we really crave for and love to do and achieve...Choice  is entirely  ours..think about it..🤔🤔

Fake relationships....

Namaste  everyone,
We are ordinary people and are often heard saying all relationships  are fake...My personal view on this also has been the same..
People betray others,take advantage  of others, manipulate them, use them and finally throw them out of their lives when they find ordinary  people  no longer useful..
These things are quite common in today's  world..and everyone  has faced this in one way or the other..but the point here is who should  be held responsible for these betrayals...obvious answer is the one who betrayed, cheated  or used the other one..
But my thoughts  deep within think  "Yes" the betrayer  is responsible..but but but..the other ordinary person  is no less responsible.. You will be  annoyed  with me listening  to this but let me give you my point..
We are simple, ordinary people that want serious  and pure relationships in life and  always strive for that..We always give our more than 100% to make the relationship  work...but in all this we give ourselves  completely..and keep on giving so much space to the other partner that the other partner starts  taking us for granted..we are even ready to give our own breathing space ,we reveal our weaknesses  to them..we become totally vulnerable  in front of them..we become totally  emotionally  dependent upon them..
We can not imagine life without them..we become ready for sacrificing  anything including  our ego for the relationship  to somehow work..I am not saying  there should  be any ego in relationships..It's  just that people keep on taking us for granted and for the sake of continuing  the relationship we continue to tolerate..usually ordinary people want to continue a relationship once made and want to give more then 100% to somehow continue it..but in this process we ourselves become so weak and vulnerable that even after recognizing flaws in the relationship and the partner we just can not gather the courage to end it ..
They keep playing with weaker person's  emotions ..and ordinary people allow them easily because  they are themselves  insecure  deep within..only for the sake of relationship that was actually  a fake one..we continue to make efforts to  continue  it somehow..
We  ordinary ones gave all the strength to them  because  of our own weaknesses,we  ourselves gave right to them to treat us badly or the way they want it to be ...with no revolt or even sign of annoyance from our side..That makes us so underconfident...that the other so powerful..
There is no equality  in fake relationships, there  is no mutual respect , no love ..nothing ..but the fake relationship  continues   because the ordinary  one is too weak to  end it...
Giving your everything  to a relationship  is not at all  a bad thing..everyone is actually  needs a relationship   that is pure to the core and we do   live for each other in  pure relationship.. but not by using the other  and throwing him or her out when they no longer suit you...is not at aĺl acceptable..We ordinary  ones have to  overcome our weaknesses  and strive for equality  and respect in relationships...otherwise continuing  the relationship will be burden than an asset in life... 
"Please ,please , donot jump into relationships  to hide your insecurities  and weaknesses...first overcome them  and then think of being in a relationship... Relationships  should be our strengths  for life not weakness.."

Our children, our love , our strength, our support, our everything..

Namaste everyone,
My kids are my strength..my everything..everything of my life revolves around them.. I love them more than anything or anybody in this world and always will.. most of the ordinary people like me  have this mindset and we proudly accept we have it and will continue to do so all our lives..
Many times when we feel low ,rejected ,disappointed and worthless then   its  our children  that make us realise how important  we are for them.. atleast in  initial years of their lives..what a satisfaction  we get knowing that we are inevitable  for them.. they love us the way we are..they donot judge us for not having a professional  career or our achievements  in life ...this undoubtedly  makes us happy and we start feeling this is it ..  what else we need from life ,we need not do anything about ourselves.... 
We will continue  like this all our lives.." but is sab mei  hum yeh bhool jaate hain ki ,our own kids will also grow up ,they will be independent   and will be no more dependent  on us for everything..they will be separate individuals..with their own mindset and intellect  and of course  they will also get busy with their own lives , then what will we ordinary people do...we will have nothing at all.. for ourselves.. because we always lacked the spirit and enthusiasm to do something  for ourselves.."
If we don't focus on ourselves in initial years of our lives we won't be able to do it when we get middle aged or even old..and restarting will be difficult.. I am not telling impossible  but will be of course  more challenging.. so why not start today...we  should stop giving up on ourselves.. because we  are definitely not using our full potential , if we donot follow our passions..and do not even do things that really make us happy..
Some  people  also give this justification  that they are happy the way they are,doing nothing for themselves,living a monotonous  life..for others..but sooner or later by not grooming  ourselves we are actually not joyful and also cannot make others around us joyful.. that is the main reason most of the people tend to feel irritated ,tired and unhappy about their lives..so...please make the right move now..make a start in whatever possible way but do make a new start.. if a person like me can do,I am damn sure you all also can.😊😊😊

Loneliness.. how it feels..

Namaste everyone..
How lonely it feels.. sometimes..or many times.. when we just  look at ourselves..
Physically  we are surrounded  by so many people... especially our family ,our loved ones.. par pata nahi kahan se yeh weird  si akelepan ki bimari si lag jati hai..once we allow this feeling to sink in.. toh  what we  get  is a disillusion of a failed  life,without purpose bus chalte rahna, jeete rahna.... wohi repeated si zindagi..aisa humein bahut baar feel hota hai.. one of those low days.. hum aisa feel karte hain.. aur hum yeh samaj nahi pate ki yeh hamara mind kya games khelta hai humare sath..
muje iska reason  yeh lagta hai ki, hum apna poora time apni family mei invest karte hain every day and night.. aur is baat ko maan lete hain ki hamare bina unka kaam nahi chalega.. this is quite misleading..family ko hamari jaroorat hoti hai jaise humein unki.. but jab woh thode independent   ho jate hain.. toh humein laid back feeling aati hai..that further leads to  a strong feeling  of loneliness..that is why life ke har stage mei.. apne chote chote hi sahi, par apne passions ,interests ko jaroor jaroor....follow  karte rahna chahiye.. yeh humein ..bekar ki negative thoughts  se protect karta hai and moreover humein kahin na kahin ek sense of satisfaction  and  purpose bhi deta hai.. jo happy and confident  feel karne ke liye must hain. 
Apne aapko self depressing feelings se protect karna.. is a everyday task..aisa nahi hai.. once we do it and its done .... its a continuous process..it can happen only when we keep ourselves busy doing things we really feel happy about... but this by no way means ki hum apni responsibilties ko ignore karen..and ek selfish si life jeena start kar den...that will be a total disaster. when  we start ignoring our responsibilities life around us will be a mess... then sirf apni happiness ke bare mei soch ke life mei chalna, totally selfish ban jana...yeh for me is really unacceptable.. humein inner engineering karke khud ko enhance karna hai..this is to become  better human beings because  when we  feel happy and confident ... about ourselves , then only we are able  to make others around us happy.. and together we can make a family where our children feel happy ,emotionally strong and confident.. and further a society ,a country and a world... making little little contributions in our own possible ways...😊😊😊

The key to our Happiness and Peace of mind is in our own hands.

Namaste everyone,
Today I thought of writing my blog post while I was feeling quite low..It was not at all related to others.. Actually most of the times other people's  behaviour  is responsible  for pissing us off..or sometimes things  do not go as we plan or expect..or even sometimes really unexpected problems  arise that are totally  unanticipated..
On  day to day basis  we have to tackle life as it comes..but very often there are days ,when we get up ,we somehow start feeling  low and disappointed for no obvious reasons..We sometimes feel bored and irritated  with the monotony  of our daily routines also..
Most importantly we always relate our mood with other people's behaviour towards ourselves  or their reactions to particular  situations in our day to day lives that donot go in tandem with what we feel..Nobody's  thinking  will match 100% to somebody else no matter how close he or she may be to us..
We give the key to our happiness  in the hands of others..If others treat us well or appreciate  us or  act in ways we want them to or do things that we like or somehow please us..we feel comfortable  and happy..but mostly people around us  and in most people's  life donot meet expectations...and we  all feel entangled in loops of sadness and start feeling low or depressed...
We are ordinary people  and feeling low ,sad, annoyed or getting irritated  easily is definitely  happening to all of us on some day or the other..that is natural..we are not perfect..
The thing is mindset of others making us happy itself is totally flawed, because how can others decide what  things will really please us to the core..Decisions  are definitely  ours ...but because of our own insecurities  and low will power we allow people to control our minds and emotions easily...and  that results  in disturbing  our mental peace..
Others controlling us and playing with our emotions is not their strength  but our own weakness..that we have get rid of immediately.. Confidence  building and  fighting our own insecurities  can only protect us  from this social thing that is allowing others to somehow control the weak ordinary ones..
Ordinary people being under confident  are easily controlled by others emotionally because they are not  self confident enough and seeking aporovals for little little things..
How can others easily disturb our mental peace and make us feel sad or annoyed?
The answer is straightforward because we  feel mentally weak and insecure..we suffer from a lot of negative complexes , we are pretty much dependent on others emotionally..we can not manage on our own emotionally and we need others socially or emotionally or financially..
What I strongly feel is we are expecting people to act and behave the way we want them to ,in this stupid process we are actually  giving them the power to control us with the outcome of their actions..If rhey act according to our thought process, the way we like it  we are pleased  or I should say our ego is satisfied..but we things donot go as we plan we start feeling  annoyed , irritated  and unhappy..The catch here is in this exercise of controlling  others we are actually getting controlled..Think about it ..Isn't it so..🤔🤔🤔

Believing in our ownselves...

Namaste everyone ,
We ordinary people lack a very basic quality of  not believing  in our ownselves...We never think we are worthy of success  although we do dream of being successful  somehow  but do  not believe  that we ourselves  can achieve  that. This is also true that we were never that successful all our lives, we were not the toppers..not in academics nor in sports ..not even in extra curricular  activities...we were not the favorites , we were the crowd..we were the great underconfident  ones..this thought  was so embedded in our minds that it  even stopped us from  participating. forget about winning...Fear of failure was so much in us..that we forget to enjoy the game of life..
Believing  in one's ownselves  does not make us someone with super powers..but it definitely  gives the strength  to carry on ,to work hard and never ever lose hope ..
Believing  in ourselves , this thing is magical..it gives immense agility  to move on..despite  of failures..
This is what is required...or we should say this is inevitable and the most neccessary thing to be successful...in any field we choose.. for ourselves..
This belief in our inner strengths protects us from the judgements of people around us..It protects us from their perspective of our life from their understanding...
Its noway easy to have or achieve a mental strength that says ,"We can do it,no matter what"..
The best part about life is  this mental strength is there for everybody..but most of the people fail to harness it..Because they have always completely  filled their lives and especially minds with self doubt and a great sense of unworthiness ..
Our mind plays these games with us..makes us fearful of trying  any thing new or restarting  after repeated failures..but this sense of belief in our strengths,our undying spirit to carry on will take us towards our goals ,no matter  how impossible  our dream may appear..but with inner strength..and belief we can work wonders..we have numerous  real life examples where peopĺe didn't  stop believing  in themselves even when the whole  world refused to do so..
Believing  in ourselves  is a commitment  that we make to ourselves  that we will continue  to work towards our goals even if success is minimal,even if people donot  believe in us nor our dreams..we will keep working on our  mental strengths , we will enhance our skills ,we will learn and improve..we may not be successful  overnight but will not stop trying...😊😊😊