My ordinary life..simple purposeless and non aspirational

My ordinary life..simple  purposeless and non aspirational 

Namaste everyone ,
I have a lot of things to  say ,but some times or most of the times  muje lagta hai ,
kisi ko kya interest  hoga meri stupid bataon  mein, actually hum log itni ordinary life jeeten hain,  jismei kisi ke liy koi motivation ya inspiration hi nai hota. For the past so many years we continued just like this, we never had any dream, any purpose  or any simplest motivation to achieve something for our  own selves..The smallest thing that we owned and earned with whatever little knowledge we were having was meaningless and unimportant...Although we are part of a  social crowd in this mental dilemma of living a purposeless and non aspirational life  is huge and bothers me everytime and forces me into depression...The only reason behind this is we have not achieved  anything in life as yet..This is absolutely heart breaking and requires immense courage to accept that I have been living a simple ,purposeless and non aspirational  life for past so many years but not any further... But sense of unworthiness is so much in us, we never achieved anything but this is also true that it was not even in our thoughts that we  were really living a life without purpose...because we somehow trained our minds that we can not achieve anything even if we try and even trying once was not in our minds,we declared ourselves failures for life without even trying...This was us,this was me...over all these years....☹️☹️☹️

I always used to think ki main logon ko motivate karun, unki help karun, jis bhi way se mai kar paon...muje aisa karna acha lagtahai...but aisa karne  ke life pahle apne aap ko motivate karna hoga..Apna self confidence badhana hoga...
Aisa mai sirf soochti hun,aaj tak kuch kar nai pai..kuch bhi naya kar pana aasaan nai hoga.. logon ki judgement se guzarna padta hai.. and also jab aapko lagta hai ki, you were never worth it..aapne life mei kuch achieve bhi toh nai kiya ab tak..kyunki shayad kabi kuch acha start hi nai kiya..koshish hi nai ki..hamesha dosron pe dependency  rakhi.. woh khush toh aap khush.. ab aaj kuch naya karne ka socha hai.. just starting ...shayad kuch log meri feelings  se relate kar payen.  And woh log bhi meri tarah ek restart kar payen..is nahi beginning mei I would like to contribute in  any possible way I can.. in my limits and beyond.. "all ordinary people out there let's start together..chalo kuch naya karte hain.. kuch naya seekhte hain.."😊😊😊👍👍
Go through the following  links to feel what I feel about my new journey
https://myheartfultalks.blogspot.com/2020/06/the-average-person.html

https://myheartfultalks.blogspot.com/2020/05/being-positive-or-being-responsible.html

Thank God ...for everything..😊

Thank God ...for everything..😊

Namaste  everyone ,
Thanking God for what we have.. is quite a common thing..but have we  ever thanked God the way we  are..although  we are ordinary  people.. we are always there for others..we are always there to give everybody related to us warmth and love.. we are  the "Go to person " for so many people.. but hamare paas apna koi aisa so called goto person nai hota..  hamari nature hi aisi ban jati hai, apne needs apne desires   ko baki logon se hide karna..kyunki  yeh habit si ban jati hai hamari.. iska main  reason shayad hamara introvert hona..   ya kabhi apne aapko ya apni feelings ko kisi ke  bhi samne express na kar apna ..ya.. kabhi kuch apne bare mei kahne ka confidence hi nai hona..  ho Sakta hai.. reason jo bhi ho.. hum apne aapko kabhie express hi nai karte.. pata nai kyun darte hain..  aur bus aise hi chalte rahte hain.. zindagi  betate rahte.. hain..  but yeh  hamari ajeeb si habit humein doosron ka support system banne se nai rokti....  at times  hum bhi aisa karte karte frustrate hote hain.. but again kisi ko pata hi nai chalne dete.. shayad koi itna bothered bhi nai hota.. kyunki hum ordinary se jo hain.. jo sab jagah adjust ho hate hain...apni is habit ko jo achi hai ya buri..main god ko thanks hi karti hun..😊😊😊

Why people take others for granted?Why not make them more loved and more wanted??

Why people take others for granted?

Namaste everyone,
Could not figure out all my life "Why people take others for granted...???They usually donot value others ,they don't  value their  emotions,they donot value how they feel ,they obviously  many a times disrespect them , they are rude and most importantly  they never value the time  and emotions  ,we invested in them.."Strange but true.
I personally feel the main reason  behind this is our "Let go" attitude all the time with everybody..We usually  make ourselves 24/7 available  to others..That i think is the main culprit..I am not  saying there is anything wrong in that..people rely on us ,they trust us ,they depend on us..they come to us with their problems..So everything is ok..  and appears to be fine..But when it comes to our problems , our trust ,our priorities ,something wrong definitely  happens..Actually  most people fail to prioritize  us the same way we prioritize  them..as they  have the perception  that we are weak ,so we will not go any where..we need no attention ,we can be easily ignored  , we donot require appreciation or any kind of acknowledgement for things we do for them..
In our daily busy  routines sometimes unknowingly  and unintentionally  we fail to acknowledge  our most important  relations..as if they are there forever..
Mostly people realise the importance  of many relations , be it their  close friends ,family  members or anybody they have been close to..after losing them.Why can not we take the necessary  steps  st the right time everyday , why we have to lose people and even things to  realize  and feel their  real importance  in our lives..Is it that difficult..No absolutely not..If we continously remind ourselves not to treat others the way we donot want ourselves to be treated.. 
If we watch our words and not speak rude  words of insult against others that  we never want to hear for ourselves..things can be improved ,relationships  can be made strong. We have to take atleast little responsibility  of emotional well being of people around us ,our family, friends and people close to us..We have to keep lifting their spirits up  and make them feel wanted  ,loved and important because  we also want the same..Everybody wants to be loved, liked and appreciated for whatever little things they do in their own possible  ways.. Our relationships are very important to us as we are to them..It should not to be too late before we fail to recognize and acknowledge this..😊😊Let us acknowledge all our relations and people around us with love and respect.. 

Verbal Abuse..Think before you speak..

Verbal Abuse..Think before you speak..

Namaste everyone,
Physical abuse done by people on others  is clearly visible ,donot know from where people gather so much courage to hurt others so brutally and  ruthlessly.. I used to ponder , these  people must not be humans in  any possible way..and its quite common especially  against women and children..and thought its the worst..
But as far as today's  society is concerned  people are educated and are  little sophisticated (as they pretend to be shamelessly).. (earlier it was thought that male population used to dominate the females in our society),the so called  trait of some people ,irrespective  of their gender can go to any extent to hurt the emotional wellbeing of a totally healthy person..
I very well understand  that the ordinary people with no prior successful background   are the obvious victims of this kind of shameless behaviour..I am not here particularly discussing here the verbal abuse in its worst form like using bad words or abusive language  against the weaker..my focus here is especially  on the daily passed comments on  ordinary people that act as such hindrances  to their growth , self confidence and moral..The most important thing I observed is that victims and culprits   are usually the people around us..mostly they are part of the family, they can be  teachers , they can be closed friends , neighbours  or our relatives.The comments passed once  on a lighter note once or twice are obivously tolerated..but when it becomes a habit it should be stopped  there itself ,it is a kind of bullying.. and can  leave marks on our minds that can noway be removed..
These constant verbal abuses makes the person receiving  it so very weak emotionally ,
that he or she  have no way to escape and as a result of which they push themselves into a mind made shell of low or no self esteem and no confidence ..so that they can not achieve  any tiniest  thing ever possible..and ordinary people began to accept it as their  only reality and start to carry the so called tag of loser for life..
The thing to be noticed here has everybody in this world has some sort of insecurities  and weaknesses ..but the some people obviously  play with it to make others feel
unworthy..They raise their voice tone to insult others in which possible way..I think
What is the solution to this? Who is more responsible for these emotional turbulences in the minds of the weak ordinary people? Who gave this power  to control our minds in the hands of others? "Who gave the key to our emotional health  in the mouth of others?"Why we need approval  certificates  from others all the times?
If we give answers to these questions we will definitely  get the right answer..Actually giving to much importance  to others think and feel about is the real  problem..what others  think about us is their  problem not ours..
The kind of language  people use against each other truly depends on their upbringings  and Sanskars..
Thing  is we can also be the part of this clan of abusers and may verbally  hurt others.We as individuals  should always mind our words spoken..As simple words of encouragement  can uplift the spirits  of  others to new heights and on the other  hands casual  statement of abuse  can devastate other person mental health , we never know.. 
Run a simple check ,"your words should not be hurtful  demeaning ,disrespectful or disspointing towards others "
I have made this list of verbal abuses that people usually use  for others to lower their self esteem or to insult them in any possible way..
1.You are a loser.
2.You can not do anything, not even simple things correctly..
3.You look terrible ,nothing suits you well..
4.Can you earn a single penny?
5.You look ugly..
6.Whatever you do ,you are going  to fail..
7.You have no good qualifications..and absolutely no talent.
8.You are good in no field.
9.You are worthless. 
10.You are fit for nothing..
I request everybody not to pass these kind of statements against anybody you know or not..

Easy tea recipes for daily intake..for absolute beginners

Namaste everyone,
 Today I want to share with you different kind of tea recipes..for absolute  beginners ..
First thing is always take equal measurements  of water and milk if you are  using normal standard or even toned milk  but if you are using full cream take two third cup  of   milk for one cup of water ,otherwise you have to take equal measurements  of both milk and water.
First step  is to start heating water  and now for adding the flavour you want  for example  ,for elachi wali chai,add  half  tea
spoon of elachi or cardamom  powder  , add  two teaspoon of tea leaves or chai Patti,bring it to boil and then add sugar according to your taste  , one teaspoon should be enough for one cup.and finally add milk.. bring this mixture to full boil three four times and your tea will be ready to strain and drink..
Similarly if you want to make ginger tea add grated ginger ( for more flavor) instead of elachi,but please make sure donot add milk before adding ginger to water and making it boil for  two three minutes, otherwise your tea will be spoiled and cuddled.
You can add  lemon grass also instead of ginger..lemon grass is not that common but now it's becoming common in indian households.. my personal favourite  is adding tulsi leaves while boiling water that is found in almost all indian households..
Actually  what I do is depending on weather  I make combinations ,i.e I usually combine cardamom  with ginger or cardamom  with tulsi leaves..i like  adding two of them for better flavor..
Tips
You can add  a pinch of salt to your tea if you have a sore throat..with which ever flavored tea you are having.
 Lemon tea,one of my favorite that I almost take daily is also easy to make.For making one cup lemon tea you simply  take one cup of water start  boiling it and add a pinch of salt ,one teaspoon or even little more of sugar(lemon tea requires more of sugar)  ,you can replace sugar with honey,little pinch of black pepper,   little punch of fennel seeds(saunf) and a little pinch of normal tea leaves(donot add more of tea leaves)..bring it to boil.and in your cup squeeze half lemon and strain the  boiled tea into it..
Tip
1.You can easily replace sugar by honey for  a healthier  version.. and losing wait you should drink it after getting up..
2.If possible donot take milk tea immediately  after waking up ,its not good and healthy ..and try replacing it with lemon tea or green tea.
3.Green tea is also one of the option ,we easily get different flavors of tea bags for green tea that can be  simply added to boiling water and its ready.
4.I  mostly take tea two times in breakfast and evening .. and lemon tea once  by around 12 noon.
5.Lemon tea recipe is very good  to take if your stomach is upset.. and it surely works..

Mental and physical health are completely related.

Mental and physical health are  completely related. 

Namaste everyone,
Mental and physical  health are totally dependent and of course  related to each other.I knew it but never really recognized it..
The one very important thing that I have noticed is feeling unwell, low in energy and uninterested..most of the times.. had become my way of life  .. I never felt fresh, I was bored of the monotony  of life,I paid least attention to my looks..these were all the side effects  of feelings depressed  and lacking sense of any kind of    accomplishment  and living a life that lacks purpose , nothing was stimulating  any kind of zeal or enthusiasm  in me to do something for myself  that satisfied my personal need of being successful at my own, in real terms..(Do not mix it with professional  success ,but if it is there it is of course  a added plus). I lacked motivation  to anything new..I followed a routine  that had nothing to do with me in real terms,my everyday was so much  busy in family and kids that I had no time not even 1 to 2 hours for myself..actually  later I realised I had time but I never knew how to use it ..neither  I was myself interested  to do something that really makes me joyful from within..mediocre  lives jeete jeete we always  forgot to live for ownselves..  "humein toh kuch karna hi nahi hain kyunki humse ho hi nahi payega ,agar kuch naya karenge toh family life effect ho jayegi ,bache kya sochenge  if I fail ,I will not be successful.. sab  hasenge ,people  will laugh at me,sab muje judge karenge.."
All possible  negativity comes into play to stop us, we continue to ruin our body but believe me when we really decide to change our lives for the good  I donot  know  from where our body also responds well,obvious  reason being if mentally we start feeling fresh ,body will also do the same,I started feeling good ,looking good,feeling fresh and healthy..Its not that I have become super successful  on day 1 itself,I have just started  I am trying, I am learning ,I am feeling a different  kind of enthusiasm, just because I have giving some hours a day of my own life to myself doing what I love to do.. This feeling of being joyful from within is really doing wonders because I donot know how  but I am doing daily routine things of taking care of my family and house with more of energy and less of cribbing..Its a truth..I just want to tell one thing to everybody reading this," following  your dream by no means gives any body the permission  to do whatever they want and forgetting all your responsibilities..or using unfair  or inappropriate  means of being successful ...that will be ultimate disaster ,damaging one's  life to the extent that can not be reversed.Follow your dream being responsible and healthy.😊😊

Why people hurt others??

Why people hurt others??

Namaste  everyone,
Today I had a very strong feeling about "Why people hurt others"..Reasons are really endless..they want to lower other person's  moral, self esteem and confidence. These people openly give certificates for others worth..They hurt other person's dignity without a single thought of how they may have felt at that weak moment..I very well understand that sometimes it can be unintentional or just  said without purpose..but how deeply it impacts  others ,they donot have  an idea about..choose your words before you speak..jaise hum bachon ko unke chote chote achievements  par kitna appreciate  karte hain ,That little pat on the back can make huge differences, hum adults ke sath bhi toh aisa kar sakte hain..par pata nahi kyun nahi karte..the thing is nothing can be done about what others  do or think about us..I know it hurts badly if people think or talk bad about  us..but why we  ordinary  people  start believing  their thinking about us as the ultimate truth of our lives..they donot know what we feel ,they even donot exactly know what is all about  being simple and ordinary,we  people who donot have anything  to brag  about or say..not even a small list of achievements..I accept that we have been like this for years..but not any more, atleast we have started trying.. Verbal abuses or any  kind of demeaning  statements passed against anybody are really detrimental..,people do start feeling low and strongly start believing  them as the truth of their lives. They stop being themselves, they also want to fit in..where they donot , they pretend to be people they are not..just because they started to believe  what others said about them..we  being ordinary become so weak mentally  with zero confidence that we can not take any decisions  regarding anything from even what to wear ,what suits us, what hair style to have,what to say ..we stop talking to strangers, we can not make friends  from the fear  of being judged..we fail to express..we fail to do anything ,we start feeling as ultimate losers who can never do anything good for others nor for their  ownselves..
This is really disappointing and saddening..but now what..think about it..where it all started..just from some  insensitive comments of people towards  others without thinking  of emotional or rare physical consequences..Soo.. please think before you speak anything bad about others not even in a fun way..
1.Let's be appreciative to each other.
2.Let's support each other in whichever possible way..
3.Let's not judge each other..
4.Let's be joyful and make others  around us too😊😊.
5.Let's help others to follow their dreams..
6.Let's share knowledge, feeling,happiness and sorrows ..
7.Let's talk ..and reach out..
8.Let's choose to be healthy
emotionally and physically.
9.Let's be little more understanding and loving towards the people around us and towards  ourselves too.
10.Let's be more passionate  towards our own goals or  even hobbies..
11.Let's make this world a better place by making tiny tiny contributions  in which ever possible way..
12.Let's do it  with a smile and confidence ...😊😊😊😊

Consequences of Financial dependence ..

Consequences of Financial dependence ..

Namaste  everyone ,
Today I felt insulted and offended  by the answer of my kid..he was  asked that,"What would he like to become  in future..??"
He simply answered,would like to be like papa.. "not like his mother why ??" 
The answer is  crystal clear  no body wants to live a professionally  failed live..I am not telling  this that a professionally  failed  life is a total failure, there are many other aspects also that qualify for a good purposeful  life..My kids love me but they donot want to be like me..because my job of taking care of them ,family and our house is quite insignificant  for a 10 years old..I am not angry with them.. but a strong feeling of  lack of purpose sinked into me..I was definitely  feeling depressed and of course  I didn't let  anybody know ,what I felt at that moment..
I am always of the opinion that nothing can be more important  for me than family and our loved ones..but professional  failure can not be ignored  altogether..years passed like this..when I was in my Twenties  I never wanted to do a job or have a career..
I now strongly feel and recommend  everybody I know, not to sacrifice or let go your professional  careers for anything..I know many a times circumstances can force us to do the same..but we should  restart as soon as possible..
Emotional as well as financial  dependence  can be nerve wrenching..Even if we are emotionally  vulnerable , having a personal financial  security can save us..In our society  also we have seen numerous examples of this..
I am not  talking here of failed marriages  or  any related things.. but here am thinking of how to deal with lack of confidence  and a feeling of low self esteem  that comes into play when we donot  have a running income or a career to pursue..
When I was thinking what wrong did I do to myself  or what happened in life ,a string of questions I myself didnot bother to answer ,keep pouring  into my mind.

1.When we have to  buy gifts for our family  especially  our  husband  by taking his money only.😏
One day my husband  said to my kids," Your mother can not afford to buy such costly gifts for you,its me who got all this for you.."
2.When ever I had to buy things for my  mother,  father ,brother ,sister and especially for my nephew and niece..I asked money from my husband..although he never refused ...
But now, "Connecting all the dots I personally  very strongly  feel this financial  dependency  is not good ,not healthy,it can be insulting..at times..that one single time will be enough  to destroy your self worth and confidence..
These things that I have felt  do not matter when everything  is going fine between  husband  and wife..but I know this can happen..to anybody..and all are not the lucky ones..
So we ordinary people will keep on waiting for these things to happen to us or do something  concrete  about this..choice is our own..
Why especially  ladies who are continously  facing domestic violence  can not come out of it because  they are not financially  independent, so that they can not carry on their lives with their kids independently  and are forced to stay because they donot have any money at all to sustain ...this is the worst case I am talking about..
What is the way out? The only way out is keep learning  and upgrading whatever little skills you have about any possible topic..keep improving it and turn it into a living..😊😊and I just want to assure you it's not impossible..

Traits/Qualities of good ordinary people which most of the people lack nowadays..

Traits/Qualities  of good ordinary people...

Namaste everyone,
With all  the Covid-19 negativity going around ..and in addition to that all negative news  that keeps on coming ..this year 2020  so.. far  has given real negative impact to the world mentally as well as financially...
People  were in lockdowns that are now some what relaxed but thing is  how insensitive  we have become  or maybe  we always were... I personally  feel helping people financially  is not the cup of tea for everybody.. all can not even afford that ..and that is  not practical  also  for every one to some extent.. whatever little  we can do is enough..but why can not we as individuals  act as emotional supports for people around us and world around..
Why  most of the people have become insensitive to what others feel or go through???
Most of the ordinary people around us that may have not achieved anything or are not that much successful professionally..but they are really the support systems of our lives but we usually fail to see..or recognize..
Most of us feel low and depressed  for no visible reason.Most of us being very ordinary are not comfortable  expressing ourselves about what we feel .. that (something may be minor only) is bothering  us back in our minds...We definitely  lack emotional connect with people around.. many a times I personally  feel we ourselves  are able to see or feel that somebody around us is not comfortable  or he or she she is low today..but I  am not able to clearly understand why people fail to see something wrong going on with us..Or we  the ordinary ones are  so good in acting ,in faking smiles and pretending  to be normal all the time..Can not say ... such a strange thing.. Some people simply donot bother at all..It seems ,"sari duniya ka theka humne le rakha hai😏😏
I know this is a little exaggeration  but why can not we the simple ordinary ones  donot get there  fair share of attention ,only because we never say or express.. we never get angry , we never shout or scream..we never make others realise their  mistakes..,we never make others realise  that how badly they hurt us...they simple statements may be unintentional   sometimes act as a  insult.. and make us realise how unworthy  we are..
The thing is  who gave them this right to treat us like this ,we ourselves..because jab hum khud ko least importance  dete hain toh log bhi aisa hi karenge..
We are using our strengths against our ownselves..humble hona adjusting hona, understanding hona ,sabke liye respectful  hona,sabke bare mein  acha wish karna , sabki help ke liye always 
 ready rahna..yeh hamari qualities  hain..but  at times we forget about ourselves.. I am not at all  telling anybody to become selfish..but sable liye strong and apne liye weakest ban jana  bhi sahi nahi hai..agar hum  apne liye kuch nahi karenge toh koi bhi hamare liye kuch  nahi karega..and yeh sirf hamari personal ya professional  growth ki baat nahi hai.. it is very much related to our health  also.. mostly  people  fail to recognize  that this feeling low is taking a toll on our health also.. so  please  develop a routine ,do something that you really enjoy doing...  learn something new..come out of your comfort  zone..it is important..sooner or later we will understand.. soo why not start now..