About me..

Few things about myself

Namaste everyone,
I am a very very simple , honest  and  ordinary person who has just started following  a new dream...  abhi I am a house wife and really proud mother of  two smart boys ..my bachas.. my every thing..my husband works in a MNC..I have done B.tech and M.tech in computer science..worked for almost 6 years as a lecturer  and after leaving my job almost ten years ago, I have now started a new journey.
I am  quite a noobish  person..I was a pessimist all my life.. I was average  in everything I did.. with average qualities, average looks.. nothing very special about me..Isliye shayad bahut time liya maine restart karne mei. But donot want others like me to waste so many years of their  lives thinking what to do next.. kya karen .. kahan se dobara start  karen.. kuch bhi pata nahi..par man mei ek baat aati rahti thi.. bus kuch aisa karna hai.. ki "my family  should feel proud of me,especially my sons.." my approach  to life is very very simple..sabko khush rakhna chahti hun ,sabke liy jo bhi kisi bhi tarah se muje jante hain , unki help karna chahti hun..sabki life mei  kuch positive changes lana chahti hun..country ke liye bhi bahut  kuch karna chahti hun. Underprivileged   women  and especially  kids ,want to do something for them too..yeh sab mere dreams hain..muje personally social work karna acha lagta hai.. but thode large scale par kuch bhi karne ke liye money and expertise lagta hai.. jo one day I will definitely  achieve.
Jis mental depression se I have been through, I want ordinary  people like me to understand  and not go through  the same things.. those are not worth it..the negativity is all in the mind... we can get over it by keeping  ourselves  busy in whatever  we love to do and  helping  ordinary people in taking the first step towards their goals....😊😊😊👍👍

Confidence building way that worked for me..

Confidence build ways...

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.” — George Bernhard Shaw. 

Namaste everyone,

I found this quote today and really found it very very inspiring ..because it relates completely with me and all other ordinary people like me..who think they can not achieve anything because fear of judgement, disapproval and getting rejected is so much in us.. that stops us  from doing anything, starting something new..but  "thinking about all this we simply forget ki agar start hi nahi karenge to how the hell we are going to reach our smallest possible goals".Of course we will make mistakes.. but instead of feeling shameful about them , we have to learn from  them and improve otherwise time toh nahi rukhega.. but we will always have a regret that, "koshish karte toh ho sakta tha but hamne rejection ya failure ke dar se koshish bhi nahi ki".. we are acting as our own biggest enemies.. and we will eventually  spent our  entire lives doing nothing.

Little lifestyle changes can really make a huge difference. So I would like to share some confidence building tips to make a new start:

1.Donot spend much time sleeping,  maximum 8 hours sleep is enough, actually we ordinary people are actually so much depressed  as a result of which we tend to sleep more and waste our precious  time..this is my personal observation..

2.Since we have to  cut our sleeping hours (although we won't be able to make dramatic changes over night but slowly slowly we can see the change and benefits)we will be having atleast 2 to 3 hours for ourselves..

3.Utilise these hours for doing what you really like to do but you yourself should be the focus..you can try reading your favorite  books , do gardening , follow a hobby, doing yoga or simply going for a walk doing dancing ,singing..doing art and craft ,learning new recipes  ,baking etc..
One thing I would say even after spending  1 to 2 hours on yourself you will not feel tired or exhausted  like you always used to  feel even after sleeping  so much..on the other hand you will feel more energetic and productive for the rest of the day..that's  for sure.

4.As  days will  pass you will really come to know about your interests and you will have a clear picture  of things you are comfortable in and would love to do..so along with spending time  on whatever you love to do the most, you youself will start to research about it and learn new new things related to it. And slowly and gradually you will develop  an expertise..regarding that subject of your choice..with strong knowledge  and time spent on the particular topic of your choice you will  start feeling confident about it..this  time spent on yourself will act as a self grooming session .. and with continuous  effort you can definitely  master  anything and will become  fully confident about it.

5.Once you have got the confidence you can venture further and even convert your hobby like thing into a small business  to get monetary benefits.

Although  it is a slow process but results will be amazing that's  for sure..and more importantly  you will become a better version of yourself with each passing day..soo... start now..😊😊😊
The following  post of mine shows my state of mind when  I was just thinking to start  my new journey.
https://myheartfultalks.blogspot.com/2020/05/my-ordinary-life.html

Life is beautiful??? If we decide to make it so...😊😊.

Life is beautiful..

Namaste everyone,

"Life is Beautiful",How easy it is to say, "kitna aasan hai yeh kahna  unke liye jinki life sorted hoti hai ,ya shayad doosron ko sorted lagti hai. Can not say.. Kabhi itna experience hi nai kiya...pata nai hoti hogi life beautiful... " To pass negative comments like this ,is quite easy and keep feeling sorry about ourselves , we continue to compare our lives with others and make ourselves  feel more and more miserable..but we always forget that nobody has a perfect life, koi bhi aisa nai hota jise koi problem nai hoti, bas humein apni problems jyada badi lagti hain... Although we do feel  helpless,we have no body to whom we can  just  simply go and say what  we feel..ya even if we express ,they donot understand or give much importance about what we exactly feel. Life aise hi chalti rahti hai bus...Sometimes na , even if we  decide to feel positive... of course jo jyada  time tak continue nai kar pate..What I have experienced is ,we fail to accept life as it is,life jaisi  bhi hai , use waisa hum kabi bhi poori tarah accept nai kar pate ,kuch na kuch problem nikal hi lete hain. kuch na kuch reason nikal hi lete hain depress hone ke liye..kitne stupid  ho jate hain hum.What is required is to face the reality , we   simply keep cursing life and fail to see anything beautiful  in life. In today's  world most of us might  not directly see the goodness  of life ,but with fresh  minds we have to look for it,I personally feel in the long run sooner or later we all will realise "Life is beautiful, it was beautiful  and will always be".Actually  it is our shortsightedness and pessimistic  approach  towards life that stops us from living life to our full potentials..Now I feel people who donot see the beauty of  life are stupid and immature..
We as individuals  never tried to look at the very basic privileges we always had..even in the times of crisis..Most of the people even lack them..We may fail miserable multiple times but this is not possible that out of may be hundred ways  even one way will not work.
Once we accept life as it is ,we can move forward with the next step to face it..We all know accepting harsh realties of life is not a piece of cake  for everyone ,but we have to accept it..The thing is we have no way out ,sooner or later we have to move forward accepting it. So instead of wasting days,months and years of our lives cursing life ,we have to come out with a solution ..Once the disease is diagnosed  we can move forward to cure it..
It's  easy for a person with  a pretty  successful life to say, "Life is beautiful.." But why cannot we ordinary people with failed lifes (as it may appear to us) let's  say it first that life is indeed beautiful and we will  put our best foot forward to make life beautiful..and definitely look for ways to make it so.😊😊😊

Everything is mutual in a relationship..

Namaste  everyone,
Relationships are an  important part of every human beings life.
But don't know why and when they start becoming an emotional burden on the two individuals involved..
We keep on ignoring the signs that something is wrong ,something is lacking..The imbalance  in relationships  is definitely  caused  because either one of the partner  has taken all the load to continue  the relationship and the other one has definitely  started taking the relationship  for granted  or has no more feelings left for the relationship  or the other partner..
The thing that everything  is mutual  in a relationship is true to the core..and lack of any thing that is not mutual be it love ,care ,time, trust and most importantly respect will definitely leads to a failure in relationships.. Intially people usually find themselves  very happy, secure , respected and very  important  for the other..It is obiviously because both the partners  give 100% attention to each others needs and feelings..Moreover  they are mostly ready to sacrifice  their  own priorities  for each other ..They do it happily  and willingly  without any pressure or unease.
We fail to recognise that how can a relationship continue if the burden of its well being is purely on one of the partner's shoulders and the other is least bothered about the partner as well as the relationship..With each passing  day it becomes extremely  difficult  for the partner still fully emotionally  involved in the relationship  to carry on.. Because  there is no reciprocation of feelings from the other...
"A relationship  is a plant that feeds on mutual love,trust  respect and care..The plant becomes malnutritioned  with feedings only  from a single partner.."
How come emotional  expectations of one of the partner be met if other partner doesn't  bother or is least affected..The sole purpose of a relationship  is to make both the partners  feel loved ,respected and emotionally  secure..and not emotionally  dependent weak   and insecure.. Relationships  are our strength, they drive us through life's thick and thin with ease , happiness and comfort..They are not burdens definitely..If we are feeling like that..and fulfillment of each other's  expectations  from us appears to be a burden  there is definitely  something  that is not right.
This reasons  of disinterest of one of the partner or further both the partners being unaware of  little little things that matter for each other  is earliest sign of downfall of a relationship..
Things that give the other partner immense  happiness when no longer matter  for the other, It is definitely  a wrong sign..Because we can not be ignorant  to each others feelings and expectations if love and respect is there.. but  this is also true that most of the times if one of the partner decides  to carry on without any expectations the relationship simply lingers  on..but without any soul..
With due course  of time this concept of only one partner  carrying on, only leads to further bitterness ,disrespect and discomfort..One sided relationships are noway a healthy option..but sometimes  for ordinary people to gather courage to come out of a relationship is very difficult..
Emotional turmoil is not easy for anyone..Nobody can simply  live without love care and affection..It's  absolutely human  to crave for love,  care and a family.We have look for the red flags in relations and can not by any way  ignore them..Its not  that all relationships are bound to fail..Its our pure intentions towards the relation that will further decide that relationship  will survive or not ..  It is the responsibility  of both the partners  to take  care for each other's feelings and nurture the relationship and if you are not willing to take responsibility  of the other  as a  partner ,just stop continuing  to take advantage of other person's  feelings for you..
Feelings are definitely  pious, we shouldn't  hurt each other in any possible  way..Not everybody  in this world is blessed enough to get into real and pure relationships and people..In today's  world it is extremely  difficult  and rare..
Dear readers,please value your partners and relations..because our mere ignorance  or sometimes our own selfishness can also result us in  the failure of a relationship..Just trust,respect  and take care of your loved ones and please  do not take them for granted..I am not at  all in favour of continuing a abusive or dishonest or disrespectful relationship.. but give  your best to continue your real relationships and give value to your  loved ones..
At least your silly  faults or by noway your selfishness  be responsible for the failure of the relation..🥰💞

My below post further describes why people start taking others for granted??👇👇
https://myheartfultalks.blogspot.com/2020/06/why-people-take-others-for-grantedwhy.html

Walking alone..in the dark but towards light...

Walking alone..in the dark but towards light...

Namaste everyone,
Dear diary,
You know me,How unworthy I was feeling ,How alone I was,How underconfident  and insecure I have been all my life..How afraid I have always been ,How introvert I have always been,How ordinary and average  I have always been...
But one fine day that was not so fine , I started feeling how I was wasting my life on account of my own insecurities...I never had others to blame for my failed life...I always took responsibility for my life..but never valued neither my life nor my aspirations  for myself  from me..I was not that person who expected a lot from others around me..but obviously I had some atleast some expectations... Actually I used to feel annoyed and disappointed when people failed  to meet my little little expectations  from them..like all of us.
I had realised  I always failed myself..I was  never capable of meeting  my  own expectations  from myself and was never even bothered a bit..Waiting for something to click or something  magical to happen or some of the people around  me will realise what I really need..and I will get a breakthrough  in life..because although  I am pretty ordinary  and simple I always had a dream that I  even hid from myself and kept it deep within my heart for years altogether but never did anything about it..These were my stupidest  feelings ever..I never had the courage  to do something for
myself..Following my dream was next to impossible  for such a pessimistic  person like me...
But now that I  have  gathered  some confidence  to follow my dream that really makes me happy and gives me a purpose ..I feel sense of accomplishment ,I have something of my own now..I am far more relaxed  and satisfied  in life..I was never like this before...
But dear diary,I have still not gathered enough confidence  to let people know that I have started a new journey..I am still skeptical  about the outcomes  of my efforts ...I am still afraid..but somehow I have decided  not to stop and walk alone..
Walking alone has it's own pros and cons...
Pros :Walking alone you are not answerable to any body ,You have no fear of judgements..You are your own boss..You are what you really are ,You need not pretend  anything..You have all the freedom to think,feel and express the way you personally  feel ..You are  yourself  your biggest  critic ,You are not  afraid of failing  or committing  any mistakes..
You feel independent, You feel strong..You are no more insecure...because  you have no one else..
Cons:You are sometimes  really afraid,You need somebody to validate  your work..You need suggestions ,You definitely  need emotional and moral support..You need somebody  to lift you up when you fall..You need somebody  to pacify  you when you cry..You always need somebody  to say that
1."I am with you,Everything  will be Ok"..
2."I will be with you no matter what"
3."I love you..my love is not defined by your success  or failure  in life".
I always keep juggling  these thoughts  in my mind but I can no way stop..
Dear readers, If you relate with me in slightest  possible way ,Please decide to restart and follow  your dream..😊😊😊

No talent...at all..Its really not true..

Are we talentless.??

Namaste everyone..

When we start analyzing  our own selves for making a new beginning after years of inactivity professionally ,  we judge ourselves ,we try to know, What are we good at? What hidden talent we have?...and we start comparing  ourselves to people around us ,and sometimes  with whole lot of successful  people  around the world .. and within seconds we conclude that.. "Arre yaar ...we donot have any talent..hamare pass  koi talent nai hai.. Karen toh kya Karen.. kahan se start  Karen???"
It is only because we have never achieved  anything.. kabhi kisi cheez mei first nai aaye na.. kabhi koi prize bhi nai jeeta.. bus hum ordinary se average se log hain..but yeh sab hamare mind ke selfmade judgements hain ..hamare khud ke bare mei...
I can assure you ki ..these are not true at all..I am telling u all this..so called Gyan  because I also realised and felt this deeply after  around ten years... Please donot believe  these self demeaning  thoughts of your own for yourselves..  These are not true at all.. Main reason behind that I can say  with confidence  is that,
"We never ever really tried.. humne kabhi  kuch karne ki koshish nahi ki.. kabhi itna self confidence  hi nahi la paye..ki hum bhi kuch kar sakte hain.. kabhi kisi cheez ko achieve  karne ke liye motivated feel hi nai kiya..kabhi fail hone par dobara try karne ke bare mei nahi socha..bus isi notion ke sath jeete rahe hi we are  good for nothing fellows.. lekin now we have to start.. kuch naya kuch fresh..kuch real happiness dene wala..  kuch bhi ,kitna bhi chota kyun na lage  but we ordinary people will definitely  make a start....😊😊
We have some how shout out loud that 👇👇
1.Yes, restarting even after years is definitely  possible.
2.Yes,we are also capable.
3.Yes, restarting is also possible  even after multiple  failures.
4.Yes, we are also worthy.
5.Yes, it is not going to be easy.
6.Yes, we are not afraid of any judgements.
7.Yes ,we are willing to learn and improve. 
8.Yes, we will not stop.
9.Yes, our dream is important  to us.
10.Yes ,we will make ourselves  and our loved ones real proud one day.
11.Yes, our dream is definitely achievable..
Dear readers, just give yourselves some time ,give yourself the courage and confidence  to restart and follow your dream..and always keep on  learning and improving and one more thing, Please donot be affected by negative  judgments of people ,rather use them to further improve..

The feeling of being loved ...🥰🥰

Love and life💞

Namaste  everyone ,
We all are beautifully amazed  or rather mesmerized by the beautiful feeling of being loved..We feel on the top of the world..This life all of a sudden starts to look beautiful . Our failed lifes suddenly  start appearing  worthy ,we ourselves  start feeling worthy , loved and important..Feelings  of positivity and hope start pouring into us..We feel as if everything is achievable..we feel loved and as a result we are definitely  filled with so much energy to do whatever it takes to make our partner happy. We feel totally dependent  on our partner..we actually  become  very vulnerable  to  small small things..All good things come with some side effects..
The feeling of being  truly loved gives us the immense  desire to live and love life ,but in addition to that it makes us  emotionally very weak so that any smallest negative thing disappoints  us to the core..
The dependence  on love for life is good and the feeling  it generates  within us is incredibly the best..but the thing is, Is it long lasting...??
Actually  when real life comes in play ,other  aspects of life like family , career ,health etc....start taking priority  and  it appears as if love has taken a back seat..and it happens only when the foundation  of love was  not strong enough.. There is no doubt that love is a pure feeling..but people sometimes  fail to create a balance between  love and real life..because  fantasies  of love can easily make anybody blind and can  distract  anybody from realities of life ,in which case the positivity  created by love in our life can not stay longer..
To fulfill our commitments in love we  need to do a lot sacrifices, most people only imagine love as an attraction  and nothing more than that..but they forget that love requires  commitment,trust and faith in the other partner ..and in our ownself  as well..
Love is a thing of heart , everything in love is filled with purity of emotions..If there is slightest  adulteration  of love with disrespect ,mistrust and expectations  of changing the other according to one's  own perspective..I strongly feel in today's  world these relationships  won't  survive for ever..
The LOVE is a gift of God ,everybody is not lucky enough to find a person  who reciprocates your feelings  of love truly back to you..Love is indeed precious..but we should  not forget that it has to be conducted on daily basis...Once you purpose  someone and he or she says a Yes and it's  done..it is definitely not like this..We have to nurture our love bond with time ,affection, care and trust on daily basis..
As it is the the most important  thing for people who are really in love so we can not be ignorant  about what our other partner thinks or really feels..We have be the support system of each other..because more there  will be love more will be emotional dependence on each other..more will be expectations  from each other...
Dear readers ,I must say here ,"Love is life ,give your loved ones the priority  they really deserve..and daily nurture  your loved relationships  with lots of care ,trust and support.Let your loved ones know that you will always be there for them  and that they are loved for ever"..because  Dear readers,  all materialistic things are  somehow sooner or later achievable but not true love..🥰💞.

Believe in yourself,Failures do not define us..

Believe in yourself

Namaste everyone,
Failures  do not define us..This is absolutely true..but we are definitely  not courageous enough to make this our reality..We have been ordinary  underconfident ,emotionally weak and fragile individuals who never believed  in ourselves and nor our own dreams..
All our lives we have been defining ourselves  on the basis of our failures and for this I must thank our pretty bad track record as far as success in life is concerned ,be it emotionally  or even professionally..  We were never surprised  by knowing that people around  us also share our mindset and  define us by our failures..We ushould not get annoyed about all this because we ourselves used to think that we are not good for any thing..
All our lives we  believed that any kind of success  or satisfaction  of accomplishment  is not meant for us..It was us only who chose to be average and never even dared to dream or rather follow what we really liked or loved to do..All our lives we pacified  ourselves  that success is unachievable  or rather impossible  for us...
We never thought  of first fighting our own mindset to follow our dream...This is also true that may be we have failed multiple  times ,but does that mean that we  are going to fail again...So we shouldn't  try any further..
Even after we ordinary ones somehow  gather courage to move a little forward , we find it very difficult to fight against the mindset of people around us..They find our dream silly ,unimportant  and total waste of time..Because we always presented  such a weak picture of our personality  in front of them. Because of our weaknesses  we allowed other people's  judgements  about us to work against us..But a real person who is really passionate about his or her dream shouldn't  be bothered about this..The thing that really matters in the way of following  a dream for any person in this world is the self belief  that he or she is strong enough  to achieve it and with each passing  day will work harder and harder towards it ..and finally will definitely  achieve  it..
Please stop making other people's  perspectives  your reality..They donot feel how you feel ,they might not know how you felt when you failed..they might not know how passionate  you are about your dream they might not know how important  your dream is for you..
The thing is they have been clearly defining   us on the basis of our failed past..But we are changed individuals now ..our dream is important  to us..and is definitely  not unachievable..We have decided  to take accountability  of our lives..We are responsible  for our dreams ,our dreams are definitely  our reality now.No negativity can stop us  not even the  one in our own minds..
This is also a fact for life that believing  in ourselves is the first step but further we have to keep  confronting for own weaknesses, be it emotional  or something  professional. We have to keep on  updating ourselves , learning new things  and working harder and harder with each passing day..
Dear readers,while writing this most I feel it from my heart ,I am also not a very professionally  succeesful person..I have just began my journey..and somehow strongly believe  that these things that I write are felt by all ordinary people  and thoughts  that I can in some possible  way relate with you all and  if I am able to motivate you in any slightest  possible way I will more then happy.. This is the real mission  of my writings..😇😇
So Just start believing  in yourself and your dream..continue to improve and work on your flaws..but please donot stop midway...otherwise we will prove all people  aroind us true about their  thinkings about us..This is the only way out to pursue what you really dream for..

Is love the only thing required for life??

Love and its importance in life.

Namaste  everyone,
This question  bothers me often that ,Is love the only thing required for life ??
Relationships that are only based on love..in real life may be able to survive for sometime and present a very good picture of life ahead..but  there are of course  many other aspects of life as well..which if ignored mostly result in failed relationships..
This is absolutely  true and everybody agrees with the fact without love there is no life . Any kind of human relationship can not even exist without love..but forgetting other aspects of a relationship like trust ,respect, care and of course finances  definitely  will lead us to a failed relationship.
Love is a real wierd feeling but nobody can live without it... I find it strange ,yet this is 100% true..We as humans want to be loved ,rather I should say it is not a want but a need like food ,clothing and shelter..
We all want to be loved especially  by people whom we love  a lot..Love makes us feel worthy and important. We feel secure ,we feel protected..we feel cared..this gives immense motivation to live...no matter what life throws  at us ..
Love is important,rather the most important driving force for simple ordinary people..because clearly we never had any personal achievements  or a successful  professional  life..all we have was love..nothing else..There is no doubt that we were loved by our family and loved ones..so that we were able to drag our rather purposeless  life  for all these years...love was the only strength  we had..love was  and is our  driving force...love protects us from a selfish world outside ,it protects us from being left alone in the crowd..it uplifts us when we are weak ,it gives us feeling of being wanted..because  we also love our family and loved ones as they love us...there is no doubt that love is everything..but is it good thing to keep on living  a dependent  and purposeless life only for love..Losing what we really are..or our identity for love is it worth it?
The answer is may be Yes for very rare individuals for initial periods..but as far as the reality check  of life is concerned  I feel  the answer is a No. Love is definitely  the foundation  of any relationship but  because of the absense of your own individuality and purpose  for life ,you won't  be able to survive  the ups and downs of life..because love does makes us  emotionally dependent  on others..to the extent that we start losing ourselves  and our identity  for the sake of love..and from there  Love the biggest gift of life starts to become problem..for which  ordinary people donot even have a solution..In course of time ordinary  people make themselves so so emotionally  weak and vulnerable that  they end up losing their  emotional  and sometimes  financial  independence  as well  only out of love..Then they can not see a way out  of God forbid..things do not go as expected in life.
Please ,dear readers donot lose your individuality  for love..we have to make ourselves rise in love but not fall..love has to be our strength  and not  a weakness..