Walking alone..in the dark but towards light...

Walking alone..in the dark but towards light...

Namaste everyone,
Dear diary,
You know me,How unworthy I was feeling ,How alone I was,How underconfident  and insecure I have been all my life..How afraid I have always been ,How introvert I have always been,How ordinary and average  I have always been...
But one fine day that was not so fine , I started feeling how I was wasting my life on account of my own insecurities...I never had others to blame for my failed life...I always took responsibility for my life..but never valued neither my life nor my aspirations  for myself  from me..I was not that person who expected a lot from others around me..but obviously I had some atleast some expectations... Actually I used to feel annoyed and disappointed when people failed  to meet my little little expectations  from them..like all of us.
I had realised  I always failed myself..I was  never capable of meeting  my  own expectations  from myself and was never even bothered a bit..Waiting for something to click or something  magical to happen or some of the people around  me will realise what I really need..and I will get a breakthrough  in life..because although  I am pretty ordinary  and simple I always had a dream that I  even hid from myself and kept it deep within my heart for years altogether but never did anything about it..These were my stupidest  feelings ever..I never had the courage  to do something for
myself..Following my dream was next to impossible  for such a pessimistic  person like me...
But now that I  have  gathered  some confidence  to follow my dream that really makes me happy and gives me a purpose ..I feel sense of accomplishment ,I have something of my own now..I am far more relaxed  and satisfied  in life..I was never like this before...
But dear diary,I have still not gathered enough confidence  to let people know that I have started a new journey..I am still skeptical  about the outcomes  of my efforts ...I am still afraid..but somehow I have decided  not to stop and walk alone..
Walking alone has it's own pros and cons...
Pros :Walking alone you are not answerable to any body ,You have no fear of judgements..You are your own boss..You are what you really are ,You need not pretend  anything..You have all the freedom to think,feel and express the way you personally  feel ..You are  yourself  your biggest  critic ,You are not  afraid of failing  or committing  any mistakes..
You feel independent, You feel strong..You are no more insecure...because  you have no one else..
Cons:You are sometimes  really afraid,You need somebody to validate  your work..You need suggestions ,You definitely  need emotional and moral support..You need somebody  to lift you up when you fall..You need somebody  to pacify  you when you cry..You always need somebody  to say that
1."I am with you,Everything  will be Ok"..
2."I will be with you no matter what"
3."I love you..my love is not defined by your success  or failure  in life".
I always keep juggling  these thoughts  in my mind but I can no way stop..
Dear readers, If you relate with me in slightest  possible way ,Please decide to restart and follow  your dream..😊😊😊