Why Do We Feel Alone At The End Of The Day?

Feeling lonely at the end of the day...

Namaste everyone,
An average person  meets around 10,000 people in their life times...but fail to find a right person, a real friend, a faithful loving partner or a single person who loves them unconditionally...🤔🤔

Mostly people feel alone...they have no one to talk to,no one to share their feelings with..no one to tell what they are going through..or sometimes  even if we express what we are going through nobody bothers to pay any attention.... It is definitely  strange...but this has become  the harsh reality of today's  world where people have been replaced by gadgets and smartphones..

We feel as if we are strangers and we donot know much about each other because we are unable to open our heart in front of them..and same might be the case with them as well..despite of having so many people around us,even in the presence  of our known loved ones and family.. everybody on sometime or the other does feel lonely..

We are unable to express our feelings because deep inside us we always fear that others will judge us for being weak,stupid, silly , underconfident and therefore  a loser for life...
We feel lonely because we fear to make others part of our lives..we donot want them to know about our weaknesses or even strengths, we donot trust people around us ...
The reasons of not trusting people  are usually  the bad experiences of the past and mostly our own insecurities  about ourselves...
The thing is life can not be conducted  in this manner..feeling lonely  and depressed..Life is given to  us by God  as a gift ,we just can not waste it like this feeling sad,lonely  and depressed all the time..
This is true that many times at the end of the day,due to whatever good or bad happenings during a day  we feel lonely..but we can not adopt loneliness  as our habit and slowly  slip into the hands of depression..with each passing  day..
Nowdays  people have stopped giving importance  to feelings,even the family members donot have time for each other...Real friends   have also become  rare and friends  with benefits  are common..
In the absence  of  a strong relationship  actually  people start feeling  weak within themselves..although  they donot tell what they are going through..but the reason is obvious..Without friends,  family and our partners life seems to be nothing..
Materialistic things can never replace human relationships...
These materialistic desires can keep us busy a whole day..and leave us alone at the end of the day with nobody whom we really love and care for..When we start feeling lonely materialistic things start losing their importance...Although  I am myself  a strong  believer  that without money and materialistic things even strong relationships get into troubles.. and sometimes  even donot last longer..but without our loved ones and family  financial success loses all meaning..It appears worthless...
Dear readers,We feel lonely because many a times we are extremely dissatisfied  and disappointed with the world and people around us..but when we look at our strong relationships ,our real support..all the problems of the world appear to vanish and we get a new energy to deal with all circumstances  with much more courage and confidence..We have to create  a delicate balance between the emotional and financial  needs of life..This is the only solution to avoid loneliness in our life 💞.

Expectations from relationships....

Our Expectations from Relationships

Namaste everyone, 

In today's world people expect a lot of things from other people(the ordinary foolish ones )  whose expectations they never  bothered  or even tried to fulfil  but expected full commitment from others as their  right..

This thought keeps disturbing me ,"I am never good at meeting my own expectations from me but quite exceptional at meeting expectations of others from me.Strange but true..😂😂.."

Life has been quite strange as far as distribution of equal responsibilities on  expectations  of people from each other ..Everybody will agree on the fact that people usually expect more but put least efforts in fulfilling  other people's expectations.....

A relationship  is responsibility of both the individuals involved..but over burdening any one is not at all justified..but we forget that this overburden will eventually result in frustrations ,anxiety and disspointments..These are no healthy or positive signs for a longlasting  relationship..I wonder why people donot  value their relationships and continue to devalue them.. never prioritise them..and more importantly continue to take them for granted...as if the other partner is their some kind of emotional slave or something similar..

In this illusion that all relationships will somehow continue as the  other person is ordinary, weak and a  emotional fool ... despite of you being selfish ,indifferent , disrespectful and ungrateful.. even  very very important and strong relationships end or lose their charm and eternity...

Dear readers,Pardon me if I sound rude..but I personally donot want anybody to misuse their relationships in any sense...Because we donot have any idea about how severely we are damaging the self esteem and confidence of our weaker counterpart...How come people that love us the most, care for us the most and prioritize us before their ownselves..??We end up hurting them badly...just because ,We  donot care...and take them for granted...🤔🤔😕

I need Wings to fly...

Namaste everyone,
"I need wings to fly ,I need them,I may not say  it directly to anyone but I do need them..."

This is what I was feeling deep down ,every day and night ...every moment ...I am sure ordinary people like me do share this state of mind ...at atleast at some moment in their  lives...
We were deep down desperately waiting for something to click..but the thing was everything was really imaginative...neither we ever had the confidence  nor the courage  to make a new start...
We were in need for something of our own....the thing we really owned,the thing that we earned..the thing that was totally our own brain child, some thing worth for us to be proud for  first and then wanted to make others  proud too..this was and has always  been our intention...
We  have the feeling of a failed life (as it was appearing to be so..)...We lack purpose ,the eternal  feeling of  accomplishment of our own  is major miss in our lives...
We want to dream ,we want to fly but never had wings...wings of self confidence,wings of positivity...wings of hardwork...wings of  realization  of self worth..wings of thoughts that we can do it..wings of being fearless of failure...wings of freedom from judgements from others ...
Growing all the above wings are not at all easy for ordinary people but  one thing is sure that they can be developed...these wings require continous hard work and a belief  that we can achieve  what we aspire for in life...it will not happen in a single day but continous nurturing of our wings with knowledge, positivity and diligence, conversion of dreams into reality is definitely  assured..soo donot stop trying..donot stop dreaming...
"Wings to fly are not given by others ,we have to grow them..with  never ending efforts and preservance.."
One most important thing that still bothers me is..stop depending on others  to give you wings to fly..they will never or I should say they can never give the full strength  for our development..stop  expecting this from others...they can help us in some possible ways..but can not walk the whole way for us...this is our journey..a journey for self fulfillment..self development..in search of a real purpose, so it should we owned by us completely, we should be totally responsible  for it..so start dreaming , start flying....😇😇😊😊

Where am I heading???

Dear diary,

What has happened  to me...??

Kya ho gaya hai muje,kya ban gai hun main...

Everything  irritates me..Laughing, shouting, talking irritates me..I have actually  become too rude to myself...Failures  and  waiting for things to click are the only two things going on in my head...I am bored of myself.. Can not say these things to others ....Can not say  what I feel ,what is bothering me??Obviously I am disappointed.. of myself..I am walking alone but can not see any way out..

Only because  I am not getting what I am expecting from life..

Waiting for success is really difficult... I definitely  agree that I am waiting for success  to achieve what I dreamt for..

I started following  my dream after gathering so much courage that can not be explained  in words..so failing or even the fear of it is disturbing  me...It's  making me restless..

Dear diary,What is next ??You know me..I usually  don't  loose hope easily, I donot give up..Rather I never give up at all..What should I  do with these negative feelings cropping in my head..while I am waiting for things to fall in place.....I need some direction..I am currently not finding a way... 

 Dear Diary, don't you think, I am talking weird..I am  behaving weirdly..Kya karun??

But can't  leave my dream in halfway...Have to somehow again gather all the broken pieces and start putting efforts..and keep on nourishing  a plant that is not giving me any fruits whatsoever...I am sad..but will not leave my dream...I can't..because in that case I  will do total injustice to my own dream...Whenever it was something to do with my dreams,my aspirations..I myself was  least interested.. I was negatively biased and indifferent towards my own  aspirations..They were never important..but now that atleast I am moving towards my dream,I have something to call my own. Although I am  not successful  as yet but hope definitely  still exists and  I will achieve  success as well...I know I keep on losing hope,then again I counsel myself to carry on..but one thing is sure,I absolutely  agree that journey  is going to be damn difficult..nobody said  that  following a dream and achieving it will be a cake walk..but  I must confess handling emotional  turbulences  in our own heads is really difficult  and heartbreaking..but I will continue and never ever stop to pursue my own silly little dream...😇😇😇😊😊💞

 Am I selfish????

Namaste everyone,

 I am definitely getting underwhelmed about life... Simple simple Life's expectations  can not be met for ordinary people like me in a relationship..Am I acting selfish by having these expectations?Why me?? Don't  know the answer....There are so many Questions bothering me today..I am figuring out life by looking for answers of following questions:

1.Is it wrong to expect love from people we love?

2.Is it wrong to expect respect and trust in a relationship?

3.Is it wrong to expect commitment in a relationship?

4.Is it wrong to have a special space of only the two individuals involved in the relationship?

5.Is it wrong to have your own space in life?

6.Is it wrong to not agree all the time?

7.Is it wrong not to compromise all the time?

8.Is it wrong not to say sorry  without your fault?

9.Is it wrong to have friendship with other people ?

10.Is it fair to leave everybody else in the world for the relationship?

11.Is it not wrong to be conditional in a relationship?

12.Is it not wrong to take only financial benefits from each other in the name of a relationship?

13.Is it not wrong to abuse your fellow partner?

14.Is it not wrong to use your partner as a ladder  towards success?

15.Is it not wrong to keep reminding your partner about his or her weaknesses?

16.Is it not wrong to demotivate or stop your partner from pursuing his or her career or dreams?

17.Is it not wrong to do all the things you never want or expect your partner to do?

18.Is it not wrong to be never bothered about how your partner feels or is going through?

19.Is it wrong to force your opinion on your partner all the time?

20.Is it raising your own opinion,likes or dislikes wrong in a relationship?

21.Is it wrong for a partner to expect the highest priority in other partner's life and vice versa ?

22.Is it feeling emotionally  dependent on your partner  wrong?

23.Is it asking for equality wrong in a relationship?

Am I acting Selfish if I raise these questions in a relationship..?

Dear readers,you can easily figure out these are obvious questions that come into our minds when something  is really wrong in a relationship..Answers to these questions can simply guide us,when in doubt.. As ordinary people,  these relationships are  very  important to us..They are our everything..And walking out won't be easy for us..but reciprocation of feelings is a must in a relationship..This is not definitely too much to expect from a relationship. When we are not able to feel the vibes  and everything appears selfish and conditional,for how long a person can single  handedly drag the relationship that has turned into a burden way before  we even realized or sensed..Keep asking yourselves  these questions when in doubt..Asking for atleast same feelings,respect trust and care is not acting selfish.. These are the foundations of a healthy relationship...Please don't undermine yourself and donot force yourself or your uninterested partner into  relationships..Love and trust binds two people together..Honesty and commitment  helps to continue..If there is love but no commitment,respect and honesty in a relationship,that relationship is destined to mentally, emotionally and sometimes physically hurt people and is destined to fail..So whenever you are in doubt keep looking for answers for the above questions and donot drag yourself  into depression from a failed relationship..

Look for the red flags and make yourself  strong enough so that you can handle whatever comes your way..All relationships are not good and worth it..But this is also true that all relationships are not  destined to fail..Pure people still exist..True love still exists..and fully committed, honest and trustworthy people also exist ,they may be  very rare but they exist 🥰🥰... Please,Please...Don't rush into a relationship only for the sake of being  in a relationship..

Gratitude,Gave me a sigh of Relief. 

Namaste Everyone, 

Every body nowdays talks about Gratitude.I used to think I am not successful in any possible sense..I am pretty average or may be below average..in everything I have..I am not  professionally successful..I belong to a normal family..I am not super talented or even talented in some sense.. I don't own a legacy or family fortune..What should I be thank

ful for??What is this Gratitude?It is the sense of being thankful or having a sense of appreciation for things we already have or given to us somehow..

GRATITUDE... If we start feeling it, Feeling it from the Heart ..Our own rage against our own life starts to calm down.

When Nothing Else seems to work..and We  are surrounded by darkness of Failures...We feel Lost..We feel failed.It really gives a sigh of relief...Like Feeling Freah air...Like feeling Rain..Like feeling waves  at a  Quite beach ..This can go to the extent that  the only thing thankful for can be ,"Being still Alive"..It gives us hope to somehow continue. 

I may sound little sarcastic ,sad or depressed which I am...but this tiny feeling of Gratitude is helping me to  continue and It is a fact ...at least for me.. 

Dear Readers ,try being thankful for tiniest things in your life that you really feel thankful for..and then just for a minute think of people that Even don't  have that..Suddenly things will start falling into place..You will start feeling hopeful that whatever mess is there in your life  that can be cleared..things will work out..It  is just a matter of time..

It  definitely makes us compassionate and fills us with empathy..It calms us and our disturbed mind because we start having the feeling that we also have  atleast something..

Some times we all are going to some phases in life where nothing much is in our hands..What else is our way out ..I myself used to get irritated, annoyed,sad and disappointed when nothing works out..Things get ugly..Be it in Relationships or in professional lives...But when We start looking  at a the thin yet bright silver lining around the dark cloud..

Dear Readers  ,I am not saying it is easy to see..But one thing that am sure is that It is there..But our disillusioned mind could not see it..or feel it..

It is definitely because of repeated failures at personal or professional fronts..but we  forget that Life Goes on..It doesn't not stop for us feeling sad about it..So why not look for things that make us feel alive and significant in some possible way..makes us feel happy..in what we really want to do and not we are forced to do... Such things exist in everyone's life .Some see it ,some don't..People who are able to identify the little little yet the most significant things in  life ,live life to the fullest and others just  kept complaining and simply  waited for life to just pass by..and expected miracles to happen..which never happen  and they  continue to live in their mindmade shells forever ..I have myself spent years in this mindmade shell of mine..And many of us still continue to do so..

Dear Readers, Please Don't waste your lives ,There is no age  or perfect timing for  making a fresh start...Just make a start ...

Why other people's opinion matter so much..?

Why other people's Opinions  matter so much..?

Namaste everyone,
We live with so many people around us,some like us  may be some donot..Similarly  we also like some and dislike others..or mostly for many people around us they are least bothered about our aspirations  but we are very much bothered  about their opinion about us..🤔🤔
But this thing is for sure..What they think about us, we exactly donot know but form so many assumptions  about it ,and sometimes  feel amazed with their positive responses  and when we get a negative response we get depressed or even a slightest  hint that they have something bad for  us irritates us  and disturbs  our mental peace..
We all are social people  and opinions  of others around us do affect us..
Controlling our emotions and reactions towards what others do to us and think of us is not a easy thing to master...but we have to master it  there  is no other way...

If we are really serious  about what we really want to achieve  or become in life..others opinions should  never have bothered us...
Specifically for ordinary  people with very low selfconfidence and a lot of insecurities ,it's really not easy...the only way out is to be not bothered ....but most of us including  myself do the opposite..We feel unimportant,we feel unworthy ,we feel unfit ,we feel annoyed ,we feel disappointed, we feel restless...we actually  feel all the negative thoughts disturbing  over mental peace totally...
The way out of this mess is the belief that other people's  opinion  doesnot  define us...
It was nothing related to them...They never know what we went through  or still going through..It is our journey...Their negativity  has nothing to do with our goals..but we ourselves  give them so much importance  that things that should be ignored completely take so much importance  in our minds that they start impacting our mental state and even our goals...
Other people never knew: What we exactly go through?? What are our feelings..??What are our aspirations...??What are our real dreams..??But they judged us on our failures but  they fail to see our efforts...
I personally  feel we should  not be much affected by their appreciations as well..they are as temporary  as their judgements that keep on moving up and down depending  upon our achievements in life..
Other people's  opinion feeds on our importance  given to them..more we give them attention  more big they become...and start affecting us badly..making us weak and fragile..
Dear readers ,we have to make choices here..Are we ready to compromise  our dreams only because  some people around us donot appreciate us ,donot  give any or even little importance to our dreams or even donot believe  that we can achieve  anything in life... their negative or positive comments  should decide the direction of our life???Are they the drivers of our lives..??Are we so much dependent  upon their  approvals  that we can not even take a step forward without it..????
The thing is  we ordinary  people usually make a lot of sacrifices, be it our dreams ,aspirations  or feelings..We do it out of love and sometimes as a responsibility but changing our life's path by only fearing judgements  from others or their opinions about us is not at all good for  the emotional health of a ordinary person..These fears  may not show any side effects  immediately  but with due course  of time...It will definitely  lower our moral ,It will deviate  us from what we truly  want to do, It will clearly indicate  a weak personality  filled with insecurities...and of course  a under confident  individual... But also these people who judged us badly way back on our endeavors,will be the ones who will label us failures for life...
The thing is, there  is never much strength  in anybody's  opinion  about us to stop us from following  what we really aspire for...it is all about our own weaknesses...for sure..Stop blaming others  for your failures...
We should  rather use their judgements  as loop holes in us and try to improve  further but no way stop...We should  work even much more  harder because  it is about  our dream...😇😇and our dream is important  to us...you can also go through  the following  post that describes  how important  our dream is for us👇👇
https://myheartfultalks.blogspot.com/2020/07/my-dream-is-important-to-me.html

Can we forgive  and forget?

Namaste everyone,

We all have experienced things done by people around us intentionally or unintentionally  that hurt us in some way or the other..

As a  simple and ordinary person and not having a successful  and busy professional life  we are mostly dependent on our relationships..and are very pure towards our feelings towards them.. We expect a lot from our relationships as we are totally committed  towards our relationships...

We have heard that forgiving people gives us immense peace and satisfaction..It may be true for some very big hearted people but not for ordinary people like us..This is my personal  opinion..Some may agree and some others will definitely disagree... Forgiving and forgetting comes into picture when we have to some how continue with the same person or people even after they committed things to us that were noway acceptable that too multiple times..... 

In our day to day lives we usually forgive each other for doing things that are usually done unknowingly or unintentionally...I accept that and am also in favour of forgiving when someone does something  wrong unintentionally or unknowingly...

My major concern is about people very close to us and when they hurt us that too multiple  times I don't see any justification in forgiving them...Actually  it was very difficult  for ordinary people like us to let others even  know that we will never forgive and forget the wrong doings  they did to us..Reasons being :

1.They were very close  to us ...

2.We ourselves never had the courage to express what we actually  felt about their behaviour towards us.

3.They were very important to us..

4.We kept ourselves in a illusion that we are also important  to them..

5.We thought we won't  be able to survive without them..

6.We will feel emotionally weak and alone without them..

7.We fear losing them , if we will tell them what we are exactly feeling about them..

8.Our relationship  will end..

9.We don't want to hurt them even when they are continuously hurting us.

10.We blame our ownselves  for other people's rudeness or indifferent behaviour.

11.We feel helpless and underconfident without them..

12.We loved them truly..

The list is endless..But one important  inference that we get from all above reasons is that I personally feel it is our own emotional weaknesses and insecurities that were responsible for making us tolerate behaviour that was not even forgivable or tolerable or even slightly acceptable .. I very well know we fall into relationships and want to continue out of love only ..There is no other reason but sometimes (am not saying all the time or all the people) people use their relationships  for their selfish motives and fake their emotions for the same..But one day or the other the other person  will definitely  realise the fact that there is only selfishness and no love..Infact love was never there..In that case ,I see no way out  in forgiving such people or forgetting their wrong doings to us..Atleast it is impossible  for totally committed ordinary people for whom relationships  are the only things they have..Relationships are our strength ,our motivation and purpose of life..

Deep down I also know it is very difficult to implement but we have to get out of it first emotionally and mentally.. Then only we will be able atleast protect ourselves  from this never ending emotional abuse..More importantly we are not the revenge seeker types..so atleast getting out of a failed relationship is our only saviour. 

The whole thing revolved around the fact that even after knowing something was definitely going wrong but many a times we ignored and somehow tried to drag the relationship...We were fair towards the relationship but not towards our ownselves...

Dear readers ,in my opinion instead of forgiving and forgetting what bad others did to us, for their whatever own selfish motives , we should gather courage and mental strength  to not only throw such people out of our lives but also out of our minds... Otherwise we won't be able to come out of this emotional mess and we will be  dragging ourselves again into it..and will not be able to start  a new life ...We have to  be strong enough  to accept that  although something wrong people did to us..but we can not allow its repercussions to haunt us all our lives...We have  to make a fresh start...with lessons learnt..👍👍.

 Finding myself in this chaos of life...

Namaste everyone, 

What kind of mindset I have??

I mostly  felt sad, failed, uncomfortable, surprised,confused , insecure, underconfident, restless, purposeless and ordinary..but there was no way out of this..Chaos of life is overpowering me , now even important life events  underwhelm me..I feel lonely...Don't  want to share any feelings  with anybody..

 Dear readers,I have felt the above feelings and many ordinary people may have felt the same or still feeling the same way.. Reasons  for these feelings are both external and internal...but the thing that I also realised  very lately was that  our external envionment and things done to us by other people is not in our control ,they anytime unexpectedly  hurt us but how we felt from inside was the only thing important . It was our reactions to the external stimuli  that made our situations worst ,We failed to realise this basic fact and continued to live a depressed life...

I was myself never important to myself neither my aspirations..I felt no purpose and more importantly I  felt unworthy for any damn little thing...

Dear readers ,This above mindset is not at all good,You shouldn't fall into this trap of negative feelings and complexes ,they will not take us anywhere but simply drag us deep down into feelings of more and more worthless.. And surely we become worthless and purposeless with passing  time because we are not at all doing anything except for cursing ourselves and our negative situation... We have to get out of this negativity because it is not real but life is real and precious ...We just can not waste it ,sitting idle and thinking thoughts of unworthines and loneliness...

Work on yourself ,try to keep yourself  busy in things you really want to do,It doesnot matter how insignificant and silly it appears to others... While you are in transition state of coming out of dark zone and just beginning or I should say thinking of starting something new donot judge yourself so early and donot rush looking for results..Give yourself time and you can easily see imporovement with each passing day..Most importantly keep a check on yourselves donot let any negative feelings overpower you..

This sense of a failed life that we always had will definitely  begin to vanish with each passing day as you start focussing on yourself and your dream...Of course this will take time..but atleast you will be moving ahead and will not be  anymore stuck in your mindmade pool of negativity and sense of unworthiness..

Dear Readers , It's extremely  difficult to find a tiniest possible  peaceful space that only  belongs to you in this world unless you continue to live without any focus on yourself and your dreams..Think about It..Donot waste your lives....You are not Late, Just start..