Sometimes giving our best is not good enough..

Why giving our best is not enough??

Winston Churchill, one of the greatest statesmen of the twentieth century, once said, “Sometimes doing your best is not good enough.Sometimes you must do what is required.”

Namaste everyone,

Why our best is not good enough????...one of the most common trait of we ordinary people is that ki hum hamesha apna 100% dete hain, har choti se choti cheez main.. but for  most of the people  around us  it's just not enough...
Shayad  hamari unimpressive life ke efforts unko worth it hi  nahi lagte.. actually ab yeh sab soch kar muje yeh sab funny bhi lagta hai.. kyunki jitni energy  and effort  hum doosron  ke liy lagate hain uska kuch percentage  khud par laga dete and apne liy kuch karte,apne liye kuch time invest karte.. but nahi.. humein toh sabki fikar hai , bus khud  ki nahi.. 
Aisaa karte karte hum yeh bhool jate hain ki jab hum khud hi complete nahi.. how can we help and support  others..Hum kuch intellectuals, achievers or some kind  of business people nahi hote na.. and na hi kabhi kuch extraordinary  achieve kiya hota hai...and actually  jin  life ke contributions se money generate nahi hoti , duniya unhein importance  nahi deti and starts taking  them for granted.. and woh little tiny si tit bits  jo hum ordinary category wale log roz apni family and loved ones ke liye karte hain... nobody gives any importance...but kyunki hum ordinary  hain koi specific talent bhi nani hain..  but hamare apne log ,hamari family yeh bhool jati hai ki yeh life ki choti choti si cheezen hi humein karni aati hain.. aur kuch nahi..apni whole life yehi toh kiya hai..living for others .. aur kuch aata hi nahi.. par everyday hum apna best dete hain despite of being in bad mood or even being  ill..most of  the times nobody  even notices  and our best is not enough  for them...😒😒but now that we realise   all this ,we have to make a new beginning..😊😊
Look through  the following  post  to realise even our best is not good enough  but in that case also we can never  giveup on our responsibilities  and we will continue  to do what is correct and most importantly  what is required...
https://myheartfultalks.blogspot.com/2020/05/being-positive-or-being-responsible.html

 Regressive thought process of Indian housewives?

Namaste everyone,

In India About 86% women who experienced violence never sought help, and 77% of the victims did not even mention the incident(s) to anyone..

During the first four phases of the COVID-19-related lockdown, Indian women filed more domestic violence complaints than recorded in a similar period in the last 10 years.(source, The hindu)

 Don't know what is wrongwith with  our own society and people around us...People usually  take for granted others  without whom they can not even survive... They usually  undermine the importance of people who are actually  the backbone of their lives...Although these people work for us in the back end  but we fail to recognize their importance because they are willingly available 24/7..These are our greatest Indian housewives..(I am using the word Indian here  because am not aware of any other cultures or people other than my own  country)..

I am myself a housewife  for about 14 years....I agree to this very fact that housewives tend to tolerate things  that in normal cases nobody will tolerate.. and continue the relationship  tolerating verbal and in some cases even physical abuse.The following list might summarize it:

1.First and most important reason of tolerating abuse is their  kids..They donot  want to  give their children  a disturbed childhood..

2.The  fear of society is so much in them , they continue to tolerate  abuse in the closed doors of their homes. 

3.The fear of hurting their parents and further future of their siblings stops them from taking a progressive step.

4.They are not financially independent, so they find it difficult or rather impossible to leave their abusive husband or family.

5.They are  not confident and qualified enough to make a living for themselves and their kids..

6.In some cases housewives  even are willing to forgive infidelity done by their male partners ,just for the sake of  continuing and obviously for the fear and shame of society..Most importantly it is done for their children..

The above thought process exists there is no doubt in it..It is definitely regressive...I always thought of running a help center for such women  so that I can somehow help them to come out of this very situation..But unfortunately  neither I am in some Goverment position nor have enough money to run such an organization...That is a different  matter..but my point here is when we housewives will gather enough courage to stop any kind of abuse against  us..For how long women will keep on giving excuses  of being incompetent, weak,insecure and not being financially independent  as the reasons to tolerate any kind of abuse be it verbal or physical🤔🤔

Dear readers, especially housewives  ,Please donot have a regressive mindset..Today you might feel insecure , incapable and incompetent to face the world but that noway gives others the right to abuse you  in any possible way..Raise your voice..You will get the solutions once you start looking for it..Donot compromise your pride and self respect for ruthless abusers..Start living for yourselves..Give yourself  a chance..Things will work out..First free yourself if you find the situation is no way tolerable..Your kids and family will also eventually  understand . It is noway justified to tolerate  inhumane things..Sought help..Raise your voice..😇😇🙏🙏

Stop living in the past..

Stop living in the Past

Namaste everyone,

We all have a past may be good or  bad...but we all do have a lot of emotional attachment  with it.

Some times it gives us strength and sometimes weakens us to the core ,leaving us helpless and sad..I know it is not easy for a ordinary  person to just leave the past and start afresh....

We keep on searching for those things and people in our present who were important  part of our lives in the past..(This is definitely the worst thing we do to ourselves..)

Practically it is impossible but our weak minds keep on dragging us there over and over again...

The most significant reason behind this is  that "we are never satisfied in our present and have no expectations from the future as well..so we keep on running back  to our past..."

This running back to the past is always painful and of no use because  even if the memories related to it  are of happiness  there absence today hurts us....

This is the common trait of emotionally weak people..They declared to themselves  that they can not do anything  about the current situation so they keep reminding their past to  themselves ...

We continue to live in the past as if the past pacifies us but in reality  it is fooling us and stopping us to live and enjoy our present fully.... it is like keeping a wound alive.. because we are noway doing justice to the people that are part of our present and more importantly to ourselves..

Living in the past we forget to give appropriate importance to people and things we have today...we feel more attached to people and things that were part of lives in the past..but we forget that they have no relevance in our present and dragging them forcefully  may result in the loss of even those we have today..because we are not fully committed  to people and things that we have today...

Past is gone years back it may be cherished  by some because they were extremely  happy and successful  back then and it may be life lessons for many who have failed relationships, failures and rejections..

Actually  I personally  feel usually people learn lessons from failures and rejections of the past but when it comes to failed relationships,it gets very difficult for ordinary people to come out of it and they  keep on reminding themselves endlessly and continue to feel sorry for a failed relationship.. The reason of a failed relationship can be anything like infidelity,abuse,disrespect

,distrust or disagreements ..but the fact of life is that  a particular relationship failed..Years passed but still our weak minds  deny to accept that and continue to live in the past..as a result mostly ordinary people become so weak, underconfident and insecure that they fear in making new and fresh relationships...The reality is deep in their minds they blame themselves for the failure of the relationship but forget the red flags in the past relationship that resulted in the failure of it..Actually  I believe  it was God's way of protecting us from people who were responsible only for hurting us emotionally  and that too real bad...and would have continued if God didn't throw them out from our lives due to whatever reasons...

Dear readers,don't  get me wrong ,I am not saying all people who were part of lives in the past were bad...but the thing is they are no more part of our present...And if we continue  to prioritize them more over our present relationships,it will be  injustice  to people who are part of our lives today..and more importantly  who chose to be with us even after accepting  our past...

We have to gather courage to get rid of our past in our minds,because if we do not stop living  in the past ,it will definitely  affect our today's relationships..We have to cherish what we have today and not things and people who left us on a wrong note in the past by giving unruly ,stupid , selfish and baseless excuses..🤔🤔Think about it ,start to live fully with open minds...and Please  Stop living in the past... cherish and value whatever you have today...

How to say what we really feel?

 Namaste everyone,
I personally find it very difficult to say what I really feel..It must be the case with many other introvert, simple and ordinary people like me..
Reasons  for this are manifold..
Firstly we were not confident and vocal enough to express what we really feel and want in life to anybody..

Secondly ,we being ordinary choose not to say what we felt because we never ever want to hurt anybody even unintentionally...It took me years to realize  not hurting others was definitely  my strength and that was of course  related to my habit of not speaking and expressing too much...What others will feel was always in my mind..
But somehow you always have experiences in life that tell you mostly people around us never even bothered about how others are feeling and intentionally or unintentionally speak  things that can hurt other people to the core..

If being an extrovert somehow means to hurt people without being hesitant and even giving a second thought of realising the consequences of the words spoken I don’t want to be an extrovert..My simplest ordinary life will outweigh this audacity of some people who easily hurt people..sometimes  even their own loved ones..
How people become insensitive to other person's feelings is still a mystery  for ordinary people like me..Although we were not that successful  all our lives but somehow we were gifted enough to be filled with lots of humility, care,respect and empathy for others..These were the only things that I can be proud of ..but the truth of life is that they donot earn you a single penny..
Although we never have had enough courage to express our feelings to others..We actually never even accepted what are we exactly feelings..We also kept on ignoring our own feelings that too for years altogether...We never acknowledged or even responded properly to our own desires and dreams ....because obviously  we felt like we are unsuccessful, unworthy  and incompetent to achieve  what we really dream or want to achieve...And mostly we always  had the fear of failure  far before even trying or giving it a shot..We always were the underconfident and insecure ones ..that was definitely the reason of our pretty unsuccessful and purposeless lives..It is truth..we have to accept  it and move forward..

Dear readers, Please first acknowledge your dreams ,thoughts and feelings to your own conscience.. then only you will be able to say what you feel and want to the world and people  around...There is no way out..Accept your weaknesses and work on your strength..Sharpen your skills..Keep yourself  busy in things you love to do..Please don't judge yourself, be little biased towards your own dreams..I am definitely  not telling to be selfish  in anyway but working on your dreams ,taking time for yourself  is not at  all acting selfish..Start to dream...what you really wanted to be and stop being the person you became with time with no personal choices or voice...☺

The World is bothered about the results and not our struggles...

 The World is bothered about the results and not our struggles...

Namaste  everyone,

The day I  had this realisation that how I wasted  years of my life with the  stupid assumption that  my family's dream is my dream,  their aspirations are the only aspirations I can have,living an average life is Ok..not having any purpose in life is fine..Not taking  out time for our ownselves and not investing time in self improvement and some new learnings or hobby is not a crime that we do to ourselves..

Years wasted...nothing achieved ,nothing learned ,no self improvement.. no bank balance ..This what we become living a ordinary purposeless life.

Nobody is and was ever bothered how I was wasting my life facilitating other's lives..Don't get me wrong ,I was not doing any favours, I was definitely doing it out of love and commitment for my family..But the strange thing was I had no commitment towards my own dreams and life..  If we ourselves are least bothered why would others around us be??🤔😕🤔

This  small thinking for ourselves  is so detrimental, I also have no idea about..

The World around us is bothered about the results always...Nobody is bothered about how a ordinary person is feeling ,how that person perceives life , how that person is unable to follow a dream he or she has ..but is unable to  achieve or even tell..They are least interested  in day to day financial and  emotional struggles  of ordinary people who never achieved anything in life..

This is a fact of life..Nobody is interested in failed lives of ordinary  people...until  they are successful..Nobody bothers if  ordinary people aspire success but need motivation and help..Nobody gives them attention or  I should say even notices their little little achievements or even failures..Nobody sees the dullness on  ordinary  people's faces and depression in their minds..Nobody cares...Nobody even asks for the reasons of disappointments and distresses..

Everybody  wants to be the part of lives of people who are successful and not those who have been struggling or have not achieved anything for years altogether...

Times of struggle actually  require immense mental strength and support of real people and relationships..Fake people easily  get shunted from our life  in tough times and struggles....

Dear readers,Everybody in this world has its own share of struggles, disappointments and failures... but Please have a dream ,work on it and improve yourself on daily basis..Other wise sooner or later  life will appear meaningless  to you..Life needs motivation and love to carry on ..This can only happen if we have a purpose in life....If we have a dream and purpose we can easily sail through the ups and downs of life...😇😇

I am there for you always,Are you there??

 I am there for you always , Are you there??

Namaste everyone, 

In relationships that are inevitable and integral part of our lives...when things don't appear to work out or something appears fishy.. We start feeling left out and alone...It is  a common feeling..

We  sometimes feel like asking our resspective partners that,"I am there for you always ,Are you there?" but but but ....we ordinary and silly ones are ignorant enough to not see the red flags..We are not able to see the absence of interest ,love and care in  our partner's actions ...Neither we express ourselves completely nor we totally understand what are other person's feeling..

We do have a lot of unanswered questions and lot many many things that require explanation and answers but in fake or forced relationships we get nothing,Absolutely nothing..

 Sometimes I used to wonder how come people who give 100% to their relationships get betrayed...🤔🤔but people who do this it is quite easy for them..This forces  to  make ordinary people like us to feel unworthy ,insecure and underconfident...but actually  our own emotions start  working against us.....Although we feel alone ,betrayed and lost..But this phase is definitely temporary..This tough emotional turbulence shall also pass...I know its easy preach than implement..

 "Betrayals done by others to us has nothing to do with us because quitting a relationship can be done in other better ways than cheating and infidelity.."

We do things out of pure love and commitment that we ourselves  donot find right and justified ....as a result we are left empty when things donot work well...Following  the right path be it in relationships or real life is the only way,any short cuts or wrong doings or selfishness will take us nowhere... To somehow continue in a relationship we keep on making compromises that no way make sense ,we sacrifice our self respect ,devote our time and energy but fail to see the absence of commitment, honesty and love in our estranged partners eyes..We are ourselves  blinded by our own emotional weaknesses...and continue to be guided by the emotion that we  cannot survive without the relationship...but when reality strikes hard and I  asked," Are you there for me?"

Answer came screaming  to me ,"No,No,No"...The strange thing is answers to such questions  are never direct for fake people in a relationship.. but they are obviously indicated more by their actions,gestures and comments..They are  making us realise in so many ways ,but I should  say It is our own weakness and blind faith that we fail to recognize....

We may not be best with how other people especially in a relationship with us treat us or judge us,but we are definitely  the best in how we are committed, how we respect them,how we treat them and how we love and care for them💞.

Dear readers,we have been taught  that if we do things with full commitment , integrity and purity ..the results will always be positive..But they failed to tell us that this hypothesis doesn't hold for fake relationships.. Because  there is another person involved..and lack of purity from his or her side  also matters..and defines the fate of the relationship.So please stop blaming yourselves for a failed relationship..Move on..Life has so much to offer if you start looking for it with open heart...😊😊😊

 Waiting under the darkness of failures.. 

Namaste  everyone,

Have you ever  experienced or even asked someone , how it feels  while waiting for success in the darkness of failures..??

How disappointing it is?? ,I am quite qualified  to tell you how bad and helpless it feels..Ya, because I lived this life, felt it and took  a pretty lot of time to get over it...I must say it is not at all easy..

Dear readers, now also It's not like am super successful, it's just that I am moving forward ,I like what I do..I  feel the enthusiasm of getting up and pursuing my goal..I feel the positive energy...That's  it...nothing much to brag about..but I love what I do..That's enough..(A late realisation)

Although  it  takes immense  will power to accept that  we have been living a purposeless life...and coming out of it  is definitely a next level struggle for ordinary  people...but one more important thing here is once we decide to move forward ,during our journey  towards our goal  we many a times feel disappointed,  disheartened and helpless because the destination is obviously far and we ordinary people fall short of resources..(as we started late and we are underconfident  and sometimes under qualified as well).This is indeed the truth of life...Life is like that...

Achieving something special  as our dream needs preservance ,hardwork, integrity and commitment... This is noway a easy thing to achieve....I personally feel as  I went through  that phase like all ordinary people like me or rather I should say am still in that phase of waiting in the darkness of failures...It makes us desperate and restless..I know being there, holding on and continue to move forward is real difficult...No words can express  what is going on in our heads..as nobody can get it..unless until somebody has really went through this transition from a failed  purposeless and faded life to a life that is  worth, purposeful, happy,visible and confident...

The thing that somhow gives  us courage to move forward is the simplest possible ray of hope and that hidden feeling that our dream is also important and we are also worthy of success,I believe that might be enough for ordinary people like us who have rather dull and purposeless lives without this.. All through the past years of our lives we didn't value ourselves nor our dream..

This is no less than a rocket science  to motivate ordinary people like us who never ever did anything for themselves and believed for years altogether that they are unworthy and incompetent to achieve anything or follow a dream....After starting and after gathering immense courage,if they get repeated failures hanging on and continuing is real hardest...because we only know how hard it was to be ordinary, average and  adjusting ..Compromising our dreams ,our needs and our aspirations was not easy..We ourselves  donot want to be past version of ourselves..We do fear failure, we do fear judgements... Our dream is definitely giving us  huge inspiration to live, to perform and prove ourselves  to the world and more importantly to our ownselves...This darkness is overwhelming as although we are not sure about the outcomes, nobody is..but we can not  by any means quit...

Dear readers,without any visible results, I  very well know hanging on is damn difficult because we fall short of motivation,money and resources as well if do not get any expected results..but please do not get off balance, donot leave trust on yourself and please donot undermine the importance  of your dream for you... Your dream is directly related to your self confidence, commitment,more importantly to your purpose of life and a promise that you made to yourselves that you will not quit no matter what..😇😇😇

Not setting yourself free.

Not setting yourself free..

Namaste  everyone, 

 I believed  for the past so many  years that I am unworthy,unfit,unwanted and underconfident...

So any kind of success  is not meant for me...As a consequence of that  I started to pacify myself with this stupid thought that I will continue to live a purposeless, ordinary and average life only because I donot deserve anything that I really dream and want to achieve..and I am a misfit for a successful and confident life..Instead of trying even harder ,I chose the way of simply giving up as I personally felt that I will anyway fail even if I try...This thought process is  the biggest blunder we do to ourselves..

My own mindset was working against me..Being underconfident and insecure  is a different thing  from totally closing our minds to  the fact that we can declared ourselves  failure without even taking the first step...

We donot set ourselves free to follow our own dreams ...For us  personal achievements and accomplishments donot matter or I should say appear insignificant..We mark our own dreams insignificant and unimportant... 

Dear readers ,just ask yourselves the following questions and I hope their answers help you in  getting a confident mindset to follow your dream..

1.Why cannot we feel free to feel happy doing what we want to do and not what appears right  and justified to others..?

2.Why is taking small small steps towards our  own goal unimportant to us?

3.How can we convince others when we ourselves are not convinced about the importance of our own goal in our life?

4.Why are we  always comfortable in compromising what we really want?

5.Why are we unable to express our own feelings  to others?

6.Why can not we work on ourselves to improve and learn?

7.Why can not we just be ourselves and stop pretending?

8.Why we can't we take little time from  our own life for ourselves?

9.How come  living a purposeless life does not matter to us?

10.Why can not  we confess to ourselves that our own dream is as important as anybody other's?

11.Why can not we gather courage to face the world?

12.Why can not we gather courage to overcome our own weaknesses?

13.Why can not we stop agreeing to others point of view even if we disagree?

14.Why can not we raise our opinion if it doesnot matches the crowd?

15.How long we will continue to live a ordinary and purposeless life?

16.When will we remove this tag of loser and unworthy from ourselves?

17.When will we start?

18.Why can't we forget the past and  past failures and move forward?

19.Why can not we be financially and emotionally independent?

20.Why we have to be available for others 24/7?

21.Why are we our last priority?

The list is definitely endless..

Getting  answers to these questions  clearly indicates that our own mind is acting against us..We have to overcome these negative complexes that are  acting as hurdles in the  path towards our  own dream..There is no other way out..Think about it and Please work on it, Don't  waste your lives living a insignificant life..🤔🤔🙏🙏

Trust, the soul of a relationship..

Namaste  everyone,
Relationships are one of the most important part of our lives..like food,water and shelter..We love our relations,we cherish them ,we all live for our relationships..we are emotionally dependent on our relationships..
Love,respect and trust are the pillars of any relationship..be it between  adults or between  a parent and a child or between friends..or between any two individuals  who want to collaborate for any smallest
purpose..
Trust is the soul of any
 relationship...
Love is the thing that binds two individuals but without trust it will be all fake and acompulsive..
Relationship with total trust on each other gives immense positive energy and confidence  that the two individuals can carry on in a relationship  no matter what...
Distrust in a relationship clearly indicates there is something very wrong in the relationship, the base  of the relationship  itself is flawed.. A weak foundation  can not handle a strong relationship.. Without trust the delicate strings of a loving relationship  can be easily disturbed  or even destroyed..
Trusting your partner is not a responsibility  but the basis of a strong lifelong  relationship...
Not trusting your partner  is not only embarrassing  but also totally desrespectful for the other partner..
Trust is not something  that you have it on your partner  one day not on the other...
A trustful partner is definitely  a gift of God that not everybody has...A trustful, loving and caring partner is not in the destiny of everyone....
As a relationship  grows... trust is also developed  in a relationship with true feelings ,honesty and commitment..
It's not  developed in a single day...but once you are committed  to a relationship not trusting  your partner is not acceptable..Here I am not telling to trust  your partner  blindly and keep on ignoring all the red flags in relationships..but mostly what happens is people distrust their partner because they are themselves  insecure..Their insecurities are the main reason of not trusting  their own loving partners..Their insecurities become so much  that when they turn into their own weaknesses , they start acting against their own partners..and finally against  the relationship itself...This results in distrusting the other,insulting them ,abusing them  and finally ending a relationship  without any real reason..

Regretting our whole lives for a failed relationship  only because one of the partner was never emotionally secure to trust the other and destroyed the whole relationship along with the pure emotions of love...is  definitely  a loss for  both the individuals in a relationship..

Because insecure partners neither trust their partners nor their love.
A relationship  flourishes on the contributions of both the partners...It is also the responsibility  of both the partners  to make each other feel secure and confident about each other and responsibility  of the relationship should be on the shoulders of both the partners and not any one of them...Moreover it should  not be the case that  we should keep on proving  ourselves all the time..There  should be no need of that all the times...We should be asking questions to each other,We should be accountable to each other...We  are definitely  answerable to each other in a relationship..
"What others say or perceive about our relationship does not matter,only what we feel about each other is really significant and nothing else..."

Dear readers,Trust your partner ..This definitely  strengthens the relationships..It gives the other partner a great sense of respect  and emotional security..Talk with each other..and overcome your insecurities by talking to each other.. When in doubt  ask your partner  first..Donot jump to conclusions..and do things that can cause permanent  damage to your relationship...
True Relationaships are extremely  rare..It's  not that one goes and another comes...True and pious love  relationships  are definitely  the rarest  ..Please  donot loose them on some silly misunderstandings..Clarify things ,ask questions ,get answers..But donot take hasty decisions  of ending up on a bad note...atleast donot abuse each other and give  chance to the other one to atleast explain his or her stand ..Afterwards the decision is absolutely yours.. 💞💞