Trust, the soul of a relationship..

Namaste  everyone,
Relationships are one of the most important part of our lives..like food,water and shelter..We love our relations,we cherish them ,we all live for our relationships..we are emotionally dependent on our relationships..
Love,respect and trust are the pillars of any relationship..be it between  adults or between  a parent and a child or between friends..or between any two individuals  who want to collaborate for any smallest
purpose..
Trust is the soul of any
 relationship...
Love is the thing that binds two individuals but without trust it will be all fake and acompulsive..
Relationship with total trust on each other gives immense positive energy and confidence  that the two individuals can carry on in a relationship  no matter what...
Distrust in a relationship clearly indicates there is something very wrong in the relationship, the base  of the relationship  itself is flawed.. A weak foundation  can not handle a strong relationship.. Without trust the delicate strings of a loving relationship  can be easily disturbed  or even destroyed..
Trusting your partner is not a responsibility  but the basis of a strong lifelong  relationship...
Not trusting your partner  is not only embarrassing  but also totally desrespectful for the other partner..
Trust is not something  that you have it on your partner  one day not on the other...
A trustful partner is definitely  a gift of God that not everybody has...A trustful, loving and caring partner is not in the destiny of everyone....
As a relationship  grows... trust is also developed  in a relationship with true feelings ,honesty and commitment..
It's not  developed in a single day...but once you are committed  to a relationship not trusting  your partner is not acceptable..Here I am not telling to trust  your partner  blindly and keep on ignoring all the red flags in relationships..but mostly what happens is people distrust their partner because they are themselves  insecure..Their insecurities are the main reason of not trusting  their own loving partners..Their insecurities become so much  that when they turn into their own weaknesses , they start acting against their own partners..and finally against  the relationship itself...This results in distrusting the other,insulting them ,abusing them  and finally ending a relationship  without any real reason..

Regretting our whole lives for a failed relationship  only because one of the partner was never emotionally secure to trust the other and destroyed the whole relationship along with the pure emotions of love...is  definitely  a loss for  both the individuals in a relationship..

Because insecure partners neither trust their partners nor their love.
A relationship  flourishes on the contributions of both the partners...It is also the responsibility  of both the partners  to make each other feel secure and confident about each other and responsibility  of the relationship should be on the shoulders of both the partners and not any one of them...Moreover it should  not be the case that  we should keep on proving  ourselves all the time..There  should be no need of that all the times...We should be asking questions to each other,We should be accountable to each other...We  are definitely  answerable to each other in a relationship..
"What others say or perceive about our relationship does not matter,only what we feel about each other is really significant and nothing else..."

Dear readers,Trust your partner ..This definitely  strengthens the relationships..It gives the other partner a great sense of respect  and emotional security..Talk with each other..and overcome your insecurities by talking to each other.. When in doubt  ask your partner  first..Donot jump to conclusions..and do things that can cause permanent  damage to your relationship...
True Relationaships are extremely  rare..It's  not that one goes and another comes...True and pious love  relationships  are definitely  the rarest  ..Please  donot loose them on some silly misunderstandings..Clarify things ,ask questions ,get answers..But donot take hasty decisions  of ending up on a bad note...atleast donot abuse each other and give  chance to the other one to atleast explain his or her stand ..Afterwards the decision is absolutely yours.. 💞💞

I love you...

Namaste  everyone,
I love You....
These three words are the world's  best three words for everybody in this world..
These words contain the power to genrate immense  happiness and content in any individual..This feeling  of being  loved is ecstatic,no words can explain it...
I love you... these pious  words should be said with utmost responsibility ,sincerity ,honesty and commitment...because these words that bring immense  emotional satisfaction in one's  life can also easily devastate that person if said without purity..
Love is something that we feel every moment ,it not only gives us happiness  but motivation  to live ...to achieve our goals and follow our dreams with much more intensity and zeal because  we want to achieve  everything for our partners or loved ones..
Love is something  we ordinary  people live for as we donot  have anything else..
Everybody  knows the importance  of love in our lifes and the feelings  associated  with them..love brings changes to our lives..sometimes positive  sometimes negative...
Love is a purity of feelings..Love is bliss..It is something  to which our soul feels connected...Being loved takes us to cloud nine.. To have someone  who  really loves you is a real God's  grace and can not be  replaced by anything in this world...
Dear readers,falling in love is easy ,but keeping up with Love is a responsibility that needs to be fulfilled  with utmost sincerity  and honesty  each and every moment...
Love motivates us to carry on because we have someone who really loves us no matter what..
Love is definitely  not something to be taken for granted because it  involves people and their intense emotions..
Life without love lacks meaning ,achievements donot make any sense  if we do not have anybody to share our happiness  and sorrows  with..Love is everything  for any emotional person..
Nowdays people  contaminate  this pure feeling  with infidelity , disrespect and distrust...
Finding a loved one who really loves is a real gift of God..but people  sometimes  simply donot care and make other materialistic  things their priority  over love..
I know keeping  on in Love is not at all easy..but it is definitely worth it because you are doing it for someone  who really loves you..
Love should not be under the bondages of any conditions like:

• If you change  for me ,I will love you .
• If you become  successful, I will love you.
• If you change your habits, I will love you.
• If you change your looks , I will love you.
• If you leave your parents and friends ,I will love you.
• If you leave your career ,I will love you..
• If you have money , I will love you..

No conditions  can ever define a relationship.. Changing a person for loving them doesnot make sense..It is forcing someone  into a relationship ..It appears as if
"If you stop being you, I will love you.. "
This is also true that people do change and sacrifice  a lot for love ..but they  do it out of love and not as a condition  to continue  the relationship..
Love is to accept  our partner  with all their negatives  and positive..
Nobody is perfect...Love should complete both the partners..Love is not 100% compatibility , it is  100% commitment  and honesty..
In Love we do not bargain that you give this  and I will give you that..
Love may appear senseless  and stupid to others but for the partners involved  it is definitely everything...  Please donot lose pure love just for small pleasures of cheating or being dishonest or even being disrespectful  to your partner...It will not take you anywhere..In the end you will be left alone with absolutely  nothing...💞💞

Expectations...the real culprit.

Namaste everyone,
Expectations are the real culprit  in any relationship.. As long as our expectations  are met or I should  say we keep on meeting  other person's  expectations  everything goes well in a relationship... Nobody even bothers  or even pays attention  to the fact that many a times people's  expectations  from their partners are unreal or way too much for a normal person..More importantly  people expect things from their partners ,which they are not even willing to reciprocate...
Relationship are so important for every human being in this world that sometimes we are ready to even compromise  our priorities, our interests,our ego,our career and sometimes even our self respect  for the sake of continuing  the relationship...
Giving our best in a  relationship and sacrificing  our own priorities  is common in a healthy  relationship ...After all a relationship is all about love , care ,respect,trust and sacrifice...Most people do it willingly  and happily...
The problem arises when we expect all the wrong things from the wrong person...Mostly ordinary  people are very wrong in judging  people.. Expectations  doesnot make any  sense in the following  cases:

• If we expect true love from a person who doesn't even love you..
• If we expect truth from a person who lies so easily all the time..
• If we expect  loyalty from a person  who has cheated earlier also...
• If you expect a person  to give you the first priority who never ever gave you any priority..
• If we expect  respect  from a person  who has disrespected you publicly..
• If you expect care and attention from a person who is least bothered about you..
• If you expect a person to understand your silence if he or she never even bothered about what you told them directly..
• If you expect a person to stand by your side who was never present in your difficult times...
• If you expect emotional support  from a person who is not even bothered about how are you..or how are you feeling?
• If you expect a phone call from a person who never even bothers to reply to your message or even never calls  back even after seeing your missed call..
• If you expect a person to share  his or her real feelings with you but he himself never shares even little little things with you..
• If you expect a person to not have any secrets between you and him but has himself kept everything password protected..

The list is endless.. Evidently the thing is expecting wrong things from the wrong person....The success of a relationship  is dependent on both the partners..not one..If one is willing to go beyond limits  for the success of a relationship  but  for the other, relationship itself is not of much importance..or rather takes it so lightly or for granted..that relationship can be dragged but not for a longer period...and is definitely  not healthy for the one who is totally involved  or I should  say emotionally dependent  on the realationship..
Dear readers,Relationships are a thing to be cherished and loved.
Relationships are not burdens..I personally  feel they are the gifts of God for us..without them we feel incomplete and definitely  lonely..we should  nurture them with love ,respect and care..but definitely  not at the cost of losing our selfrespect.. The total ignorance  of one of the partner or using people in relationships  is not at all acceptable...

How long we should wait to get success?

Namaste  everyone,
Most of the people of this world are not pretty much as successful  as the other remaining 1% of the population..Although most of them work hard towards their goals or dreams and  wait for real success  in life..For some people the wait is for almost a life time..and people continue to live with their ordinary lives waiting for success.
The definition  of success is also pretty much different for everybody because some people crave for money , some for career and status , some crave for health, some crave for family and loved ones..
Whatever may be the meaning of success for individuals,it is definitely  important...and waiting for it is although normal...It is also a fact that," Wait should  be combined with continuous  hard work and endless efforts.." but thing that bothers me is that  for  how long we ordinary  people should  be waiting for success  or at least something  to click or work in our favours..
Being ordinary this wait is no doubt the most difficult part for us,because we spent all our lives achieving  absolutely  nothing for ourselves..but now that we somehow  gathered courage to make a new start ,despite of  hard work,  this endless wait is really very very confidence  breaking and disappointing..
It may not matter for successful people who have many accomplishments in  their  professional  as well as personal life..but for ordinary people who have nothing much and all their hopes lies on  a single endeavour, waiting for success is really difficult..People donot have any idea , how difficult  it  is  for ordinary people to make a new beginning..It always seems impossible  for ordinary people to make a new start  because all their lives they have over powered themselves with the feelings  of unworthiness ,low self confidence and self esteem..
It is real difficult  to first cross  the mental barrier..On the top of that ordinary  people also had a lot of insecurities  which they somehow overcame to restart..but hurdles appear to be never ending and waiting for success  is really  detrimental  to their confidence  levels..
It is definitely  not easy...
Dear readers ,I  donot know why I am not able to figure out  a timeline for this ..Struggle  appears to be never ending..We all very well know that  achieving success  is not easy and is definitely  not a one day game..It requires constant  and continuous  hard work..but nobody knows for how long the ordinary people have to keep  their spirits high even in absence of any positive  results..
In the absence  of positive  outcomes it will definitely  become very difficult  for anybody to continue  putting efforts..but one point  that I am getting here is we can not stop even in the absence  of results..Let me know your point of views in the comments  section .. Nobody can set a time frame...🤔🤔🤔but this waiting  really gets into our nerves...

God and Us...Is our love for God unconditional?

Namaste  everyone,
The presence of God in our life is inevitable,we all irrespective of our religion follow God...
We pray to God ,We thank God, if things go our way , We get angry,dissapointed and sad if outcome is not as we expect..We mostly blame God for not helping us and very little to ourselves for our failures in life...
God is a matter of faith and usually people approach God for something they need, be it  health,wealth ,prosperity or endless and ever changing wishes that we have with each passing day...
In real life we expect people around us to love us unconditionally but when it comes to God we love God only when God keeps on fulfilling our wishes..
GOD'S love for us is unconditional,God loves us  the way we are ,God excepts us the way we are with all our insecurities,successes and failures..with all our fears,with all our weaknesses..God is the only  person who does not judge us for being us..and most importantly  does  not expect anything in return..God is our only source of light that helps us to get away with the darkness in life..
We usually  fear God and not love him...
But the thing is,  normally people worship God for the  fulfillment  of their desires in life..without even knowing that things we ask from God rather sometimes  beg from God are not even good for us..
We all do believe  in almighty  and his powers..but does not believe  in his decisions  for us in life...we want everything to happen  according  to our judgements depending on our small experience  of life...
As life passes and surely with experience  we recognize  that all God's  decisions  for us were definitely  the best for our lives..People and things are added or removed from our lives according  to God's  will and definitely  for our betterment but we mostly fail to see when we are going through  those phases of ups and downs in  our lives..
We ordinary people believe  in God but Do we really trust  God for everything??🤔🤔.. We trust him for things that we  wish for and getting positive  outcomes of  everything we do in our lives..as long as things happen according  to our plans  everything is good,our belief is strong..but why our faith is so weak that when ever things start going against  our expectations, our faith also start getting  weakened...
The answer is obvious we donot love God truly unconditionally..We simply treat God as one who filfills all our wishes..and not as part of us only..If love is  unconditional nobody can waiver  our faith..but if it is based on ifs and buts ,we  will be definitely  losing faith...when life doesn't  goes as per our plans..
Even worse is the fact that mostly people attribute their success to themselves  and failures to God...
Even some people donot want to do  anything at all , they simply want and expect God to complete their work for them ..They simply  sit idle and keep on waiting for God's  miracles  in their lives😂😂..These  kind of people also do exist..
Dear readers,I have always been a simple person who believed  in God and his decisions  for me in life..and it is also 100% true that I also many a times disagreed  with God's  decisions  in my life..but as years  passed ,I realised how God saved me from absolute  disasters I planned for myself ,if everything would have been the way I wanted...God's  plans are definitely  the only way outs..God is with us ,we have to  seek God's  help and support  in life and not ask for God doing all the work or some kind of miracles...That will be total waste of life and I think disrespect  for God..
It's  not that miracles  donot happen  with people , but they are definitely  not common..but God standing by our sides to support us and give us strength  once we have decided to work hard is definitely  true..and every hard worker person has experienced that in someway or the other in life...God is not a Jinnie,however it many a times does turn for some who are really working hard  and true at heart...
We all have to trust God and his decisions  for us..it not only increases our faith but also makes life much much easier for everybody...😇😇💞

Relationships are our strength or weakness???

Relationships are our strength or weakness??

Namaste everyone,
We are surrounded  by so many different people in the form of various relationships
all our lives..we love and care for them and of course they also love and care for us..
Parents, siblings, grandparents,teachers  friends ,neighbours ,our uncle, aunts and cousins..(there can be many more for some people)These all relations  play a very important role in creating an environment  in which normally people spend all their lives and create  the basic foundation  of  our adult lives..
We feel happy ,we feel loved,we feel protected, we feel secure,we dream big things..In most middle class families people have all these relationships and are quite close to their families..
I am not saying all people have very good big families but just telling usually people feel loved and safe in their big or small families..and in our childhood  times ,we donot know what exactly  relationships  are or even what  is the importance of having healthy relations. But when we become adults from where the hell does all kinds of insecurities related to relationships ,money ,career and our ownselves start dominating us..
We no longer feel comfortable  with many people, we are not confident  about our looks, our career profiles,our marksheets ,our bank balance,our social status ,our jobs , our relationships ..we lack trust ,we feel insecure..
The thing is as grown ups we are expected to be responsible and there is no question about that ,we as adults should act responsibly ..but we feel weak and can not even gather the confidence  of telling people what we exactly feel because we are grown  ups ,we have to face it.."jo relationships  hamari strength  hote hain woh hamari weakness ban jate hain.."
So many new relations get added to our lives like girl friends, boy friends ,husband,wife , kids , in-laws, colleagues,and many more friends..I personally think what exactly happens is
 " we ourselves start a competition  of proving ourselves to all the relationships around us of our worth..and when we fail we  start feeling depressed  and insecure.."
Of all the relationships  that we have nurtured so far very few ones need any certificate  from us for  being the best or very successful, they are there for us no matter how  we are( although  they do wish for us to be happy and successful)
They love us and accept us the way we are, they are our real strengths..We donot need to prove the whole world our importance , we can not be the  good or best for everyone..
But the thing is usually  ordinary people fail to recognize  this due to their own  insecurities and trust issues..Performing better in life should be everybody's aspiration..but as we are doing it for our loved ones and family ,Our family and relationships  act as a support system and the ultimate source of strength for us..as I personally  feel and people can relate with me , if we are doing something  for our family or  for that matter any body we really love,we are filled with a different  kind of energy and zeal..I donot know about the results,but we do try to give our best..and that is what matters  ..its our intentions that really matter for our those relationships  that are the basis of our lives..
Have we ever wondered  that do our looks really matter for our family,jo hamare liye sabse important hoti hai,toh phir hum apne looks ko le kar itna under confident  kyun feel karte hain.. Actually if  we pay attention our insecurities  are actually mindgames that stop us from achieving  our goals by making us weak mentally and hampering  our confidence levels.
We have to perform in our respective  lives by using our strong relationships  as a source of strength..and all other things do not matter...at all..
When we start  doing things like this ,all clutter of unwanted expectations  from people that donot matter is removed from our minds.and when there is less clutter there will be more performance.. one  more thing not everybody will be happy with your success but of course most people  will be happy or not even affected by your failure..then why the hell do we carry the extra luggage of performing for them.. or proving something to people that donot  really even matter..
Dear readers, use your full potential  ,do work hard but with happy and contented  minds ,without any insecurities and pressure and with the mental and moral underlying  support of our loved ones..😊😊😊

Feeling helpless..but not hopeless..

Feeling helpless but not hopeless...

Namaste  everyone,
Life as a whole is quite different from what we feel and go through everyday  every moment..If somebody  asked me ," How are you feeling today??",one day I will  say fine some other day I may not feel that good ,will still say all good..but looking over a longer period of our past life  ,we will say as a whole everything is quite Ok. My family is fine ,all are well and healthy ,we  maintain a  normal middle class life style ,my kids are good  and amazing ..I love them and wish all the happiness of the world for them..but what the hell is wrong with me??
I donot  know what is going on in my mind..
I feel lonely,I donot know  what to do with my life ,I feel purposeless..Although I do have a lot of responsibilities..I can not just go away from them..I am really trying to find ways to get out of this mindset.. I feel sabke pass apna kuch hai karne ke liye,i do not have anything..
Over all these years giving least importance  on self grooming and personal development , I think is the reason of my situation right now..I feel helpless because  I am still finding ways to start all over again..but I donot feel hopeless,I am quite hopeful  about this..I will surely find a way out of this...,I started writing this ..just because mostly in today's lives people will start telling you have  everything , what all am saying are just plain negative thoughts...
I lack something ...I also donot know..right now,trying  to figure  it out...
May be am bored of the monotony of the work that I do,my kids are growing up,I have invested so much time in them over the past 10 years ,that I forgot to live for myself,as they are growing up ,they are becoming  more and more independent..  so may be I have time for these stupid thoughts now..as most people will judge me..
Whatever be the reasons,I feel I have to come out of the shell I have been living ..for soo long..
One more strange thing am observing is," all people around me are quite busy,they donot have a bit of idea what's  all going in my head right now..even if I tell them they will definitely  find it funny ,silly ,stupid or unimportant.." That does not mean they donot love  me but ,yeh jo picture banate hain na  hum perfect hone ki ,actually  fake hoti hai,we  also feel weak ,we also get disappointed, we also get sad..we also feel lonely..we also feel helpless..
The question now is What next??The answer although  easy to say but difficult  to implement  is to start again, take baby steps but do  make a start by making little little life style changes towards your goals ,that will really make you happy and feel complete 😊😊😊

Life of a housewife..

Life of a housewife..

Namaste everyone,
I am writing  this post to share some daily stories in the life of a housewife...I think I am little qualified writing this as I am myself a housewife for the past 14 years..
The word "House wife" is quite   underrated.. because we housewives  do work 24/7 ..no one can deny that..
 To be a Housewife for life, this decision is some times forced by circumstances,  sometimes it's a personal choice or sometimes we are not qualified enough  to do something else..😕😕
In the first case,some women are forced to leave their jobs to become housewives ,due to numerous  personal reasons like their husband or in laws  doesnot  like them working or some family situation becomes such like transfer of husband to some new place..bla bla..bla..itne sare reasons sunte hain apne friends aur family se.. the thing is you have chosen to  become a house wife.
Second case  can be because of your own children ,you choose to become a housewife for their upbringing ,in this case also sometimes women are forced to leave their jobs because they have none to take care of their children ..children as for everybody are our utmost priority..
 Reasons of becoming a housewife are numerous  but the thing is everybody  as a housewife today or some day starts feeling fed up of the monotony  of work all housewives have to go through  each day.. there is definitely  no change..
This feeling becomes worse if unfortunately  the women were forced to leave their jobs and  were quite qualified..
And for women who are  not that qualified  I personally think  situation is even worse as they find no way to go or even start..am not saying it's easy for the qualified ones but they somehow have some confidence  that they can start based on their qualifications.. but simple ordinary ones find themselves  in darkness..
Even if it  was a personal choice..
Reason kuch bhi ho when this feeling  sucks in ,we feel frustrated ,dissatisfied and disappointed..and think yeh kya kar liya hai humne apni life ke sath....kya ban gaye hain hum...
The thing here is jo life ke saal humne waste kar diye(yeh  waste  word use karna shayad galat hoga because  we invested all those years for our  own family and kids), we have to some how restart .. again...
The most important thing here is that it's not being a house wife is a problem  but the the problem surely   is being only a housewife with no other thing , qualifications,hobby,likes or dislikes to associate  with our personalities..
Over all these years we forgot  about ourselves  completely..but now we have to make a new beginning. Lets  start a new journey  together...
The thing is where to start,you can see my confidence building method that worked for me in the following link 👇

https://myheartfultalks.blogspot.com/2020/06/confidence-building-way-that-worked-for.html
One more most important point that we forget over these years is we completely lose our financial  independence.see my post below on my take on financial  dependence
https://myheartfultalks.blogspot.com/2020/05/financial-dependence.html

Alltime Locked down lives of ordinary people

Locked down life  of ordinary people...

Namaste  everyone,
In this coronavirus crisis times we all were living in lockdowns as per government  guidelines  and rules..
But have you all noticed in these times people around us  who used to be quite busy normally enjoyed a little in the initial times of lockdown in their homes ,kids also thought of no school and imagined  there will be no studies and things like that..but after lockdown got extended two three times and now  nobody wants to be in lockdown .. but it is although for our own safety and protection that we  are staying indoors..for most of us activities  related to outside world are very minimal and limited to only essential  ones..
What I want to say or rather convey here  is  most of people got totally fed up with lockdown not only due to financial  reasons but also  psychologically they got irritated ..Two to three months lockdown  had so much severe consequences  on  almost everybody's  financial  and emotional  health..but but but....😕😕😏😏😏
"We ordinary  people have been living in the these  kind of lockdowns in our mind for past so many years.. that we are ordinary we are average ,we donot have any talent  ,what will people think if I do this or that  ,i can not do anything ..mujse nahi ho payega, maine kabhi kiya nahi, even if I will try I know  it will be a failure ..Please stop judging yourself soo ..soo....harshly .give yourself a break..if it is not comforting for most of the people ,how come we ordinary people continue to live like this,how long we will continue to be to live in our selfmade lockdowns  and will not even try to come out of it..For how many more years we will not try  to  do something for our own personal  development..isn't  it strange..Hats off to our patience." 
 Why cannot we try to make a new start ..let's start together with a small  hobby or a small yoga session ..or simply going for a walk for half an hour..lets embrace our own likes ,let's do things that makes us really happy..because then only we can make world a much happier place..😊😊..Government  is also unlocking phase wise..gradually..we should also..taking small small steps..we can make it..