"My dream is important  to me.."

Namaste everyone...

I  have started  focusing  on my own small dream that completely belongs to me... It's  been two months now. Never before in my own life I realised that  a ordinary person like me can dare to have a dream of my own...Still seems surprising  to me..sometimes I  even feel of letting it go,I do feel scared..I also do feel very nervous because  I am  not getting expected results till date...then I  have to fight against  my own negative thoughts  and shout out loud reminding myself  that,"My dream is important  to me , I am all about my dream now .." 

I do not know what people will think or how they will  react when they will realise that a person like me can even have a dream of my own...It will be unbelievable  for many ,even for people very close to me.. mainly  because  over the years they have never seen me focusing  on myself in any possible way...

This change in me is not at all sudden as far as my inner feelings  are concerned..but it may appear sudden for people around me.As I have never been expressive  regarding my own feelings to others..I never say what I feel or want..Over the years I developed  a strong sense of unworthiness ..I was fit for nothing fellow in my own eyes...may be for others also..

I was struggling  in my own head..I had nothing that I really own..Daily I was asking God what is my worth...What is my  real purpose...
I  am having a lot of responsibilities  as  a mother of two kids and a wife ..I am a complete  family person.
But I was never responsible  for my own self..I  am dependent  on my family for everything..be it emotional  or financial... I have always been a weak and vulnerable  person..My  strong feelings of unworthiness  has nothing to do with my family..I donot know why , but my dream is growing roots deep within my mind ....Sometimes  I think it is driven by  the thought of proving myself to others and most importantly  to myself..."There is a lot of positivity  in my dream..I dream of really making my kids proud ,this feeling fills me with enthusiasm and zeal to move forward."

I am feeling hungry  for things that elevate  my self esteem and confidence...

I feel lonely..I may be suffering  from some kind  of depression..I don't know...I  may appear funny to people that know  me..They will be asking..what is wrong  in my mind ..I may appear a fool as they will judge me for following  my dream despite  having a wonderful life...

But they will definitely  not realise that ,Now my dream is important to me...I am going to follow it no matter what...😊😊😊😇😇

I will not allow people to tell me that " my silly dream will not be successful..as  usual.As I am a family person..I  have turned so dumb over the years that I won't  be successful  in whatever I will start ...and moreover there is no need for me to start anything new..It will be a time and effort wastage.."

All these things are not going to effect  me in any possible manner because my determination  is not weak  now as it used to be.."My dream is important as  anybody else's is..I may fail but I will not stop working hard on it..Turning  dreams into reality might be difficult  but not impossible.."😇😇

Why are we  not ready to change or adapt...

Namaste everyone,
Why are we not ready to change or adapt??
In case of people with ordinary average  lives..this is quite a common trait..I personally  agree to this..Change is not easy for ordinary people..because we have  always  been living in a small shell where we continue  to live as underconfident ,introvert ,talentless individuals  who cannot dream  or dare to do  something  new ..
"The reason is obvious we fear to fail and so we never want to expose ourselves to the judgements of the world..."

Fear of failure is so much imbibed  in us that we are not able to adapt to any changes in our life or even small things in our daily routines..
Before starting the thoughts of routine changes in our life style (those are just superficial  changes)..but we are so insecure deep within that we can not even do that..Forget about the real changes we need to do to our pessimistic  mindset..
I personally feel we never ever focussed on self development. We always had  the mindset that nothing should  be changed..so that the dull purposeless life of ours continues seamlessly..
We have always been so much afraid to change  that although  we feel restless and anxious  deep within but are unable to change..To bring any  positive  changes to life or to improve our living standards  both financially and emotionally does  require a lot of effort and inner urge to achieve..
We want to achieve  things, if we get it some how by God's  grace or by other people's  effort..we can not do anything..because we keep on reminding ourselves  that even if we try we are going to fail,so instead of losing and getting self embarrassment, we never even try to start  or at least participate in something that requires changes within us as well as our environment  or daily routines..
We have to just  start  with a new thought..we have to take little time from our own lives for ourselves..we have to work on self growth..we have to learn something..we have to follow the dream that we buried deep within ourselves  just because we never gathered the courage  to pursue it..may be circumstances also did not favour us at that time...but stop bothering  about them now.. we have to be better then the previous  versions of ourselves..The goal is achievable..we have weaknesses..we are not the best ..we  shall from now onwards never stop ..we will become  better with each passing day..I also agree  these changes in our mindsets and external  environment will definitely  not be easy.. but there  is no way out.. We have to take ourselves out of this  feeling of being unworthy  or having a failed life...It may have been ,but is definitely not  going  to be like this..because  hard work and things done truly  from the heart always work😊😊😊.

 Follow Your Dream..

Namaste  everyone, 

This post is a collection of some quote's reels . HOPE u like it and relate..

 Why can't we agree to disagree??

Namaste everyone,

In our day to day lives,we have a lot of disagreements with people around us, be it our closed ones also but that noway means that we hate them as well..This thing or I should say thought is not as simple as it appears..

We usually mix disagreements with hate  and disrespect or sometimes even disregard for each other...but the thing is ,

If I like red and you like blue...It noway indicates that blue is  a  bad color and I should start to hate you ,because you donot like what  I like..This simple thought helped me identify a major reason that acted  as a deterrent in relationships...

As partners or as any two individuals it is a 100% possibility that our point of views can not fully match..We will  agree on somethings and disagree on others..We  actually fail to  respect or even recognize each other's opinions and try to force our's onto them...This forceful behaviour can last for sometime...but its not healthy,it's not legitimate.. It is in fact disrespectful and even sometimes disturbing for one of the partner and he or she starts feeling underconfident and insecure because their opinion doesnot matter and  even if they gather courage to express it ,It results in a rift or a bad fight or quarrel between the two individuals...

It is the  trait of some dominating individuals that they want their opinion only to matter without even giving slightest regard to what their partners feel and want to say..

To agree on each other's disagreements is not that difficult, if we  respect and trust each other completely..It is but obvious that one person's insecurities regarding disagreements on a particular thing results in a quarrel or  I should say some kind of rift between  the two individuals...

Dear readers,I personally feel we should give full freedom  to our partners to express themselves fully.. so that we very well know what is exactly going on in their heads and how exactly they are feelings..What is  our partner's view on a particular thing that affects our lives is definitely important..So how can we ignore it or even disregard it...One important point here is that if we are giving enough space to our partner's point of view and respect it ,the same behaviour is also expected from them as well...Because in relationships everything is mutual...The responsibility of the past ,present and future of a relationship lies on the shoulders of both the individuals and noway on any one of them...

I have seen a different  side of many people in relationships, because usually people fail to acknowledge or understand other person's feelings and fears...

Dear readers,Why can't we act as support system for our partners or for that matter everybody we come in contact with..

Always give enough space for even your naturally introvert or under confident  partner to flourish.. Act  as a positive support,be real and respectful....With unconditional support and love, you can definitely make your some how weak partner do wonders and achieve his or her dream..Be a constant support system...This is what is expected...

The irresponsible behaviour of one of the partner be like 

1.Taking the other for granted..

2. Misunderstanding  the other all the time..

3. Disrespecting  the other partner..

4. Occupying the personal space of the other forcefully..

5. Giving zero or very very little importance to other's point of view..

6. Prioritising yourself on your partner..

7. Giving high importance to your career and goals and giving  negligible importance to your partner's ambitions and regarding them as useless..

8. Not  trusting your partner..

9. Not  asking for your partner's choice or opinion or like or dislike..

10. Taking  decisions that affect both the partners without other's consent and sometimes even knowledge..

11. Forcing your superiority on the other in terms of finances,looks or any other stupid reason..

12. Using   your partner as a ladder for growth instead of a support system and even failing to recognize and acknowledge..

13. Making  fun of the weaknesses of your partner publicly instead of correcting him or her privately..

All the above mentioned acts  of  one of the partner result in resentment and in my personal opinion a kind of emotional abuse  people do to their partners..

Dear readers,Please accept your partners with their weaknesses and strengths..Create enough space for both of the partners to flourish and prosper in a relationship..Disagreements on things can not or I should  say must not be the reason of a failed relationship.. Disagreements are point of views..They are not judgements for parting ways..Opinion of both the partners should be equally valued..then only a  healthy relationship can survive the ups and downs of life..This is actually the only way out for the prosperity and mental well being of both the partners and for the success of the relationship as a whole..Think about it..🤔😊💞

Things Everyone Wants to Hear..Emotional musings..

Emotional  Musings..💞💞🥰🥰

Namaste everyone, 

I want to convey a sense of warmth and comfort through my.. Emotional musings.

I Hope u like it and crave to hear this....🥰

Why We Should Walk Away From a Failed Relationship?

Walking away from  a failed relationship...

Namaste  everyone
We are ordinary  people and never even had enough guts to really express our feelings to the world...or even to our closed family members..We are the typical  introvert types...I  personally  feel this  is nothing to feel sorry or feel underconfident about it..
This was our nature..we were never good at expressing what we really feel  and were never able to ask for what we really wanted....
But one thing we were always sure of, "We always have been pure and totally committed  to our relationships..."
I was never able to find answers to questions of relationships  failures..of people who were once deeply  involved and committed or may be appeared so..or were fooled or were  rather in a relationship for some selfish  reasons.....No body can guarantee  the success  or failure of relationships,if any one of the person in the relationship  has something fishy or any  selfish motive for coming into a relationship... 

Most importantly  the failure of relationships  can be clearly  attributed  to the fact that one of partner has no intentions left to nurture  the relationship and other partner being emotionally  more attached continues to give more than 100% to balance the deficit created by the other  uninterested partner.
The thing is weaker person in a relationship who somehow  wants to continue the relationship  because of being  truly involved and never had enough courage to walk away ....
Walking away is never easy for weak people  because their feelings are absolutely  true..and moreover they feel so underconfident  about themselves that they are not able to handle rejections ...
Walking away and getting  over a relatioship that failed definitely requires courage beyond words...specially  for people who even have failed professional  lives as well..
The main point here is for walking  away from a relationship  that failed due to whatever reasons, you once felt as if that relationship  was your only world and you  never imagined  life beyond  that...
The only way for walking   away is through some kind of distraction ..The distraction is the saviour here...otherwise we will get overwhelmed  with emotions and memories  from the past that were actually fake and meaningless..Actually when our love changes into an addiction, we also do not come to know unless the other person shows his or her true colors..Most importantly we ordinary people keep on giving more and more chances even after multiple  betrayals  and insults...
In addition to that we ordinary ones are so so committed and invested so much of our lives and emotions that walking away or getting  over it seems impossible..
 I know  totally getting over anything to which we are so much emotionally  involved  requires  great deal of motivation  and self belief...Starting  life all over again without someone  whom you disillusioned as your life is of course   very difficult..
Dear readers , Please do not continue any relationship because of any of your own emotional weaknesses..Be true to yourself..stop  compromising your self respect for selfish and fake relationships...They donot deserve  your lifelong true and pure emotions..It's  not worth it..Life is important.. and people that truly love you unconditionally should be part of it and definitely  not those for whom you are fulfilling  some of their vested interests...Those people for whom your emotions never had any vàlue..never respected you  never trusted you..should never be part of your lives..
Start  finding  ways , start investing  in yourself, start giving  yourself love and respect  you truly  deserve..Donot let others define your worth on the basis of a failed relationship...
Losing a person who truly loves  you is a loss  that can not be filled easily..but  you didn't  lose any body,  the relationship  was  definitely  not true..It was fake and never deserved  your true and pious  feelings..It is definitely  the loss of the person who despite  of being in a relationship  doesn't  give his or her 100%...and was never truly committed...

Life is not perfect..for any body but life is precious...

Life is not perfect but life is precious...

Namaste everyone,
Today I am quite  depressed after seeing news of suicide  of actor Sushant singh Rajput.. yeh nahi hona chahiye tha.. I donot know him personally but liked him as an actor and also used to follow him on Instagram.. Nobody knows what he was going through in his mind.. because his superficial  life appeared very attractive to everybody.. but there is no doubt that some thing was terribly wrong..that forced him to take such a drastic step ...
What is our perception of life..everybody wants a happy ,go lucky life ..sabko ek perfect life chahiye..par life is never perfect..it is  our wrong perception  that life is perfect for others and not for us..we donot even know what others are going through .. now days most people donot even know what there closest family members  are going through...pata nahi kis cheez ke peeche bhag rahen hain hum sab,humein  khud nahi pata..Apne mind made perceptions   ko jo mostly real bhi nahi hoti unhen sach manke .. most of us feel depressed  all the time..,kyunki kuch achieve karna hai sabko..ek never ending competition  mein hain..hum sab..yeh competition  unhealthy  hai,kyunki yeh  hum khud se compete nahi kar rahe ,apne aap ko improve karne ki koshish nahi kar rahe..we are just trying to be better than others..that is why we are bound to fail  and  we feel disappointed.. we feel rejected..its a never ending process.. how others look at us ,how they judge us,what irrelevant  comments they pass upon us ..they donot even know what we are going through.. that is unimportant, believe  me that is unimportant..but the problem here is why we  react to or even believe  their judgement ..and sometimes  make it our reality.. from here exact problem  begins..these judgements of other have devastating  effects  on our self confidence and esteem..
I personally feel we ordinary people are not definitely  that strong to remain unaffected ..of course everybody gets disturbed  by any kind of negativity  they feel about themselves..in the eyes of others..but we have to choose not to react.. or be effected..because our life  is our responsibility ,we are not only responsible  for ourselves but also for our family members and loved ones... we just cannot take any drastic step like ending our lives or doing any kind of harm to ourselves.
We can be ordinary but we  can not  be irresponsible ..Ending life is no solution... Even  if we have lost interest in our own lives ,we have to live for our loved ones..we can not be this selfish.."Please please  please I request  everybody who is feeling depressed  or low for any damn reason...please donot harm yourselves...it is definitely  not the solution,just have a thought that ending your life will no way solve the problem you are facing..this too shall pass..Please donot allow a weak moment to overpower you ..."
If you can not do it for yourself  ,do it for your family,for people who love you ,donot be soo.. selfish, stop living for yourselves.. you donot find it worth it  , live for your loved ones think about them before taking any wrong steps...Life is precious..think of people  who donot even  have things atleast you have..
Make a new start..things will start falling in place...sab theek ho jayega..everything  will be alright...that's for sure..I truly believe  in this...😊😊😊

Follow your dreams ,Time is running out..

Follow your dreams, Time is running out..

Namaste everyone,
We are ordinary people , the introvert kind,we are unexpressive and unimpressive..types..All these  traits I totally understand, we all have  felt  and lived with..but the thing is for how long we have to be like this.."Time is running out"..It is definitely the truth of life that, Time stops for none..we have already wasted so many days , months and even years of  our precious life with the feeling of no self worth or importance..I am not sure about what others think about us..but i am definitely  sure that over those low  times of ours  we ourselves  never thought good or appreciative  about  ourselves ..we feel like failures for the whole life,bloddy losers, who can not do anything..
I totally agree that we donot have a pretty  good track record..we have failed..we were miserable..I agree ,i was also the same..but for how long we are going to be like this..???Are we the immortal  ones, waiting for some miracles to happen..that will change our pretty boring lives into the most attractive and sort after ones.. No...definitely not..Stop disillusioning  your ownselves. We have to make a fresh start ,irrespective  of our age, gender ,qualification , looks ,family backgrounds, financial  status and whatever that limits us from doing what we really want to..
Some people may have the privileges of financial status or looks or a sound financial  background..but mostly people lack them..The one common thing that every individual  has is his or her ablity to work hard if they they are determined  to do so..It is definitely  not easy..,you must have read success stories of so many people who really worked hard  they believed  in themselves..even though  they failed many a times but they refused to stop pursuing  their dreams big or small..Hard work is the key, everybody knows this..but very less people make it the Mantra of their  lives..
The only way of motivating ourselves that works is feeling our goals in life to be as important as are air , water , food and shelter..as if there is  some existential crisis ,If we donot feel the hunger of doing something  good for our ownselves , people around us, society  and world as a whole ..We never feel motivated enough.We have to feel as if we are out ot breath  without our goals..then only we will  feel motivated enough.. otherwise people like us will never change their way of thinking ,their lifestyles, their mindset..because continuous  rejections and failures in life have made us so indifferent  towards  our ownselves...The sense and feeling of existential  crisis  can act as a booster shot for us moving forward  with our dreams..We lack purpose of life..even if our thought pattern is not changing instantly, of course  it will take time..because this mindset was built over years..but ,let's  start with doing something good  for others as a special  task for revamping  our own lives ..Small small changes made to pretty  ordinary lives can make huge difference  over a period of time..I am pretty hopeful  about this..I am also in  a transition phase..I am also trying..I am not at all saying it's  goning to be anyway easy..but after making a start and winning the battle with my own mind that always told me that i am worthless and canot achieve anything..One thing i am  damn sure that desired results will be achieved..If the journey  is so exhilarating  ,than of course  destination will also be..I am myself seeing little little improvements  in my own personality  and confidence level is also building up..If making a start can work for me ,i am 100% sure that it work for even the weakest..The need of the hour is to gather all our energies in something constructive , joyful ,blissful or simply that brings a smile tand makes feel  happy..😊😊

 We fail because we are never driven by passion.

Namaste everyone,
Over the years if I look back in the past I didnot achieve anything professionally and rather lost whatever skills I had because of my education..Years passed and I kept forgetting...Actually  I merged my expectations  with  my family's  expectations..and stopped expecting  anything for myself from me ,forget about others.
When we are young..we all have a lot and lot of dreams..but only few are really successful  and remaining  become the part of the crowd..Have you ever wondered why??
Humein khud hi nahi lagata ki hum kuch remarkable  kar sakte hain..humein bus life adjustment  mode mei hi jeeni hai.
Doing compromises and adjustments   are not at all bad traits of a individual..it clearly indicates how strong we are..but the thing is  ,Why we have kept all our strength  and energies for adjustments  related to others for making them happy..??Why can't we save little strength and energy  for our  own selves...??

When I was small I always dreamt of becoming  a doctor..but in the competitive  exams I could not get enough marks to get a MBBS seat , but I  somehow got a seat in a private Engineering college,Although I never liked it..But sonehow adjusted because  my parents  didnot want me to waste a year for MBBS preparation  and also they were satisfied  about it. So I also simply carried  on with it..after that I also did M.tech..just because I thought I can go for a teaching job in future..but the thing was, for both these things I was never very much interested  ,but my parents had a thought that my qualifications will secure my future and I will get a job after my kids grow up..but I could not get anything  from it because I was never interested  in anything  related to it..
Muje bus shayad Engineer  ka tag lagana tha,muje Computer Engineering  mei koi bhi interest nahi tha,but hamare time pe Computer's  engineering  bada trend mei tha..so I opted for it..
And till date I continue to carry the burden of my qualifications( as my father keeps on  saying "you wasted your qualications"), and could not  get  anything from it exactly..
Because for teaching in schools they say I am over qualified..and give justifications  that ,Will I be comfortable  teaching small kids MS-word ,MS-excel and so on..and for colleges I am under qualified  because I am not a PHD. So I was hanging in between..
Now that I realise, fault was  all mine , because I choose to please others before myself..and moreover middle class kids donot have  plenty  of options..but I do realise wasting a single year would  not have harmed my career  that much then choosing something  in which I had absolutely  no interest at all did.I failed to  achieve simply because I was not driven by passion  or my interests..
"Now that I want to do what I feel like doing I do have a lot responsibilities, I can not just jump out of the bed and start doing whatever I feel like doing.."
But now  I atleast make it a point that after completing  my household and family responsibilities   I do find some time to write and express what I feel ...Writing my heart out in my blog ,I feel satisfied and burden free..as if I released  weights from my head....I know I have just started and its  a long journey..I am not that popular  also..😊😊.But this thing I really feel passionate  about..I want to relate to people and want to somehow connect to them and want to prevent them from making life changing decisions that can result in failures..I want to motivate them to start new journeys  with things they love to do ..We should not have  any regrets  about life..that we had a life without any passion or purpose...😊😊