Follow your dreams ,Time is running out..

Follow your dreams, Time is running out..

Namaste everyone,
We are ordinary people , the introvert kind,we are unexpressive and unimpressive..types..All these  traits I totally understand, we all have  felt  and lived with..but the thing is for how long we have to be like this.."Time is running out"..It is definitely the truth of life that, Time stops for none..we have already wasted so many days , months and even years of  our precious life with the feeling of no self worth or importance..I am not sure about what others think about us..but i am definitely  sure that over those low  times of ours  we ourselves  never thought good or appreciative  about  ourselves ..we feel like failures for the whole life,bloddy losers, who can not do anything..
I totally agree that we donot have a pretty  good track record..we have failed..we were miserable..I agree ,i was also the same..but for how long we are going to be like this..???Are we the immortal  ones, waiting for some miracles to happen..that will change our pretty boring lives into the most attractive and sort after ones.. No...definitely not..Stop disillusioning  your ownselves. We have to make a fresh start ,irrespective  of our age, gender ,qualification , looks ,family backgrounds, financial  status and whatever that limits us from doing what we really want to..
Some people may have the privileges of financial status or looks or a sound financial  background..but mostly people lack them..The one common thing that every individual  has is his or her ablity to work hard if they they are determined  to do so..It is definitely  not easy..,you must have read success stories of so many people who really worked hard  they believed  in themselves..even though  they failed many a times but they refused to stop pursuing  their dreams big or small..Hard work is the key, everybody knows this..but very less people make it the Mantra of their  lives..
The only way of motivating ourselves that works is feeling our goals in life to be as important as are air , water , food and shelter..as if there is  some existential crisis ,If we donot feel the hunger of doing something  good for our ownselves , people around us, society  and world as a whole ..We never feel motivated enough.We have to feel as if we are out ot breath  without our goals..then only we will  feel motivated enough.. otherwise people like us will never change their way of thinking ,their lifestyles, their mindset..because continuous  rejections and failures in life have made us so indifferent  towards  our ownselves...The sense and feeling of existential  crisis  can act as a booster shot for us moving forward  with our dreams..We lack purpose of life..even if our thought pattern is not changing instantly, of course  it will take time..because this mindset was built over years..but ,let's  start with doing something good  for others as a special  task for revamping  our own lives ..Small small changes made to pretty  ordinary lives can make huge difference  over a period of time..I am pretty hopeful  about this..I am also in  a transition phase..I am also trying..I am not at all saying it's  goning to be anyway easy..but after making a start and winning the battle with my own mind that always told me that i am worthless and canot achieve anything..One thing i am  damn sure that desired results will be achieved..If the journey  is so exhilarating  ,than of course  destination will also be..I am myself seeing little little improvements  in my own personality  and confidence level is also building up..If making a start can work for me ,i am 100% sure that it work for even the weakest..The need of the hour is to gather all our energies in something constructive , joyful ,blissful or simply that brings a smile tand makes feel  happy..😊😊

 We fail because we are never driven by passion.

Namaste everyone,
Over the years if I look back in the past I didnot achieve anything professionally and rather lost whatever skills I had because of my education..Years passed and I kept forgetting...Actually  I merged my expectations  with  my family's  expectations..and stopped expecting  anything for myself from me ,forget about others.
When we are young..we all have a lot and lot of dreams..but only few are really successful  and remaining  become the part of the crowd..Have you ever wondered why??
Humein khud hi nahi lagata ki hum kuch remarkable  kar sakte hain..humein bus life adjustment  mode mei hi jeeni hai.
Doing compromises and adjustments   are not at all bad traits of a individual..it clearly indicates how strong we are..but the thing is  ,Why we have kept all our strength  and energies for adjustments  related to others for making them happy..??Why can't we save little strength and energy  for our  own selves...??

When I was small I always dreamt of becoming  a doctor..but in the competitive  exams I could not get enough marks to get a MBBS seat , but I  somehow got a seat in a private Engineering college,Although I never liked it..But sonehow adjusted because  my parents  didnot want me to waste a year for MBBS preparation  and also they were satisfied  about it. So I also simply carried  on with it..after that I also did M.tech..just because I thought I can go for a teaching job in future..but the thing was, for both these things I was never very much interested  ,but my parents had a thought that my qualifications will secure my future and I will get a job after my kids grow up..but I could not get anything  from it because I was never interested  in anything  related to it..
Muje bus shayad Engineer  ka tag lagana tha,muje Computer Engineering  mei koi bhi interest nahi tha,but hamare time pe Computer's  engineering  bada trend mei tha..so I opted for it..
And till date I continue to carry the burden of my qualifications( as my father keeps on  saying "you wasted your qualications"), and could not  get  anything from it exactly..
Because for teaching in schools they say I am over qualified..and give justifications  that ,Will I be comfortable  teaching small kids MS-word ,MS-excel and so on..and for colleges I am under qualified  because I am not a PHD. So I was hanging in between..
Now that I realise, fault was  all mine , because I choose to please others before myself..and moreover middle class kids donot have  plenty  of options..but I do realise wasting a single year would  not have harmed my career  that much then choosing something  in which I had absolutely  no interest at all did.I failed to  achieve simply because I was not driven by passion  or my interests..
"Now that I want to do what I feel like doing I do have a lot responsibilities, I can not just jump out of the bed and start doing whatever I feel like doing.."
But now  I atleast make it a point that after completing  my household and family responsibilities   I do find some time to write and express what I feel ...Writing my heart out in my blog ,I feel satisfied and burden free..as if I released  weights from my head....I know I have just started and its  a long journey..I am not that popular  also..😊😊.But this thing I really feel passionate  about..I want to relate to people and want to somehow connect to them and want to prevent them from making life changing decisions that can result in failures..I want to motivate them to start new journeys  with things they love to do ..We should not have  any regrets  about life..that we had a life without any passion or purpose...😊😊

FOMO..

FOMO,Fear of Missing Out

Namaste Everyone,

I have been trying  to somehow motivate,help and move along with  my readers who are on a new journey of following their dream and let them know that how important  it is to have a dream and to follow it with all heart and 100% commitment.. along with me...because I have been through  this and am still part of it..I was myself  always filled with Fear of missing out,FOMO...

It is because  for ordinary  people like me the journey  is more difficult as we are very weak mentally and lack purpose  and confidence ..We never experienced any kind of success to feel worthy or important...we were the average types...the loser types..

We all have that stupid feeling of FOMO,fear of missing out..Yes, I totally agree ..We fear failures...but let me remind  you it was this FOMO only that kept stopping us for years altogether  to follow what we really  wanted to do,what we really loved to do,kept us away from what was our real calling...It damaged our future, our aspirations and more importantly our confidence, This FOMO kept us insecure in our minds and stopped us living life to the fullest..

After years  of wasting  our lives without purpose  we will definitely have the realisation that we always felt or preassumed that we will fail...What will people think of us?What is wrong with us?These thoughts kept our minds occupied  with negativity...

Negativity drags us deep down into more of insecurities and confusion about our own abilities  to achieve  some thing ..

We had all kinds of fears... FOMO already degraded our lives  and a lot of things were missed for years ,that we would have achieved or  I should say we would have been reached atleast much much closer to our dream... FOMO never allowed us to express our feelings truly because we feared of losing people..It never allowed to follow our passion because  we felt it will take us to no where and eventually we will fail..We feared public opinion ,we feared of even trying ,we feared of judgements of others about us and our dream...

When you are in extreme darkness of failures ,If they are professional they can be somehow managed but when it comes to personal, gaining just a slightest motivation to carry on  seems to be impossible...Personal failures  are much more damaging...... Without love ,support and care of our loved ones nothing makes sense...No accomplishment looks worth it if you donot have our loved ones...For some emotional  people this fear of missing out their own loved ones is even more challenging then  losing their dreams and they keep on compromising their aspirations, their dreams for the sake of relationships...

I personally  feel  there is nothing wrong in it...but to the extent that it does not completely  damage your individuality...Because in that case you will be left with  so much emptiness that can not be filled and we will be left with depression  and insecurities...

Dear readers, FOMO, is nothing but just another hindrance in our way to our dreams..Donot  give attention to it,It just exists in a enhanced way in weak and insecure minds..This is only inversely  proportional to mental strength and commitment towards our dream ...More confident and committed we become more weak this FOMO gets...Please donot give any attention to any negative thoughts that  deviates us from achieving our dream and living life to our full potential...This is your precious life please donot waste it for things that donot  have any existence or importance...Donot let any fears to stop you...Make a commitment to yourself...❤❤❤

What is confidence?

What is confidence?

Namaste Everyone,

What is confidence?

 Confidence for  me is accepting yourself as you are and not  pretending to be someone else according to the  circumstances in life.Our focus should  be on things we are able to do without  worrying about what we can’t do!

I just want to share a short story of mine here ..when I was in Ist standard,  I was selected  for a poem recitation competition in school ..I prepared well and I was confident..but when I went on stage,before reciting the poem as we have to introduce ourselves and greet  Principal Sir , teachers and fellow friends..but as I was very small at that time and could not see where Principal  sir was sitting(sounds funny now😂) and so could not  greet him before starting.. because of this I stood numb there, did not start ..I could not utter a single word and finally my teacher came  to take me  off the stage..but as a little kid I felt very insulted, this little incident had such a huge impact on my childhood days that I never ever dared to participate  in any individual  competitions .Stage fear was soo..much in me that I never even tried once..I remember my teachers asking me again and again as I was good in studies to participate but I never did..I was afraid  of failing again..and thought not participating will protect me  from this fear of failure..Not participating  will protect me from judgement of others..At that time I used to make thousands of excuses  for not participating..but now I strongly feel that One incident deprived me from enormous  opportunities  that were offered to me in my school days to prove myself but I failed to grab even one of them..

This one thought that I  will fail gets into our heads soo much...The thing is we may fail and not that we will definitely  fail..but fear of failure  stops us from living life to our full potential..I now completely  agree with the fact that self confidence  is the game changer..We have to believe  in ourselves...It is the thing that can change our ordinary lives to extraordinary..  Confidence does not guarantee  100% success  rate,but atleast  it will be higher than 0% in case we donot try at all..

I am also quite a ordinary  individual  but with no notable achievements  in life,but now that when I analyse my past life,I wasted precious  childhood years that could have been filled with many  little achievements, I myself deprived me from them..I feel this lack of confidence held me back always, stopped me from doing what I really wanted and was really good at..It stopped me from living life fully..It stopped me  and made a strong impression in my mind that I am average,can not achieve anything ,so I must go and stand in the last of the queue..

I request everyone reading this please donot undermine  yourself  by small small failures ,donot label yourself as average..We all are special in some sense ..We all are precious and are capable of achieving  anything we want to ..but for that  the minimum  requirement  is we should not stop trying..and PLEASE  PLEASE..never ever stop believing  in yourselves... 😊😊,keep trying..

Disagreements in relationships..

Namaste everyone,
In our day to day lives..we have many confrontations with people around us, be it  our family members, friends, kids or colleagues or anybody that we come in contact with..It is not necessary  that we will be agreeing  with other people's perspective and opinions about things happening around us all the time..
Disagreements are bound to happen because we all are  totally different  individuals..And This is absolutely fine...but things get out of control when people force their point of view on others and want others to agree forcefully and when they don't, they end up abusing each other or insulting each other and finally hurting  each other badly..
Mostly dominating people can't handle disagreements.. They even want  everybody  around to agree  with them all the time..
In relationships  this dominant  behaviour will definitely  create unrest in the mental peace of the other partner..
Usually ordinary, simple people in relationships continue even with the dominant  behaviour of their partners out of love or sometimes  due to their own insecurities  and underconfident behaviour.. but things  get out of control  and one of the partner starts hurting other partners self respect and self esteem..
Even after they say sorry,that sorry is unable to pacify the other  because the person actually never meant it but just said it for the sake of saying..Mostly people donot even bother  to say sorry for their insulting behaviour to the other..They donot bother what the other person felt and how badly it affected their self respect..
There are even certain shameless traits of people who say sorry..but on the other hand continue  with their abusive and insulting  behaviour  as well...
Ordinary people fail to see a way out of such a relationship...Only because they donot want to loose their partner or sometimes because of their own emotional and financial  insecurities..
Saying Sorry  without actually  feeling it  will definitely  be never enough..because when one  of the partner says sorry for a thing done either intentionally  or unintentionally, it soothes the other partner  who is hurt..and creates a trust that this hurtful behaviour will not be repeated..but not everybody is lucky enough to get partners  who  never intentionally want to hurt their other better half ,but due to any reason if they do so..their heartfelt "Sorry" is  definitely  enough..if  and only if it is really said from the heart and in future the mistake done or that particular abusive or disrespectful behaviour is not repeated..

Agreeing to each other's  disagreements  and accepting  each other as  we are...is what is all that is expected from a true relationship..
But the reality is people disagree with each other and want the other to always agree but they themselves  are not ready to accept  the other partner with his or her disagreements..
Dear readers, in true and healthy  relationships  both the partners are equal..Point of view of both the partners  matters equally.. Disagreements will happen,rather I should  say if there  are absolutely no disagreements something  is definitely  wrong...🤔🤔
If we respect  each other we will definitely   respect  each other's  perspective and thought process ..In a relationship we have to give each other enough space ..We can not simply overpower each other's  thought process  or force them to agree with us all the time..Nobody is perfect..not all relationships  are similar..No individuals nor their situations are similar....but if  the relationship  is pure and true,we only need to give our partner respect, care, trust and love..
I always give more priority to respect ,care and trust even over love...Some readers will find it strange because  they will give the justification  that love itself should be given the first priority..But I personally  feel relationships that lack respect,care and trust can never ever survive  for long..These relationships  are fake and with time love between the two also diminishes..Love might be there in the relationship but the foundation of the relationship is weak and little ups and downs of disagreements can easily disturb it to the core..I personally feel  their love was not more than a mere attraction...
Love can never ever survive  without respect and trust...Please nurture your relationships  with respect, trust ,care and lots and lots of love..This is the only essence  of life...because without our loved ones life appears to be empty and purposeless..💞💞

How to differentiate between  right and wrong decisions in life?

Namaste  everyone,
How to differentiate between right and wrong decisions in life?This question kept bothering  me all the time and  I think everyone  faces this question  back in their minds quite often..during various moments or even stages of life..
I am a ordinary person and had a pretty much  unsuccessful  professional  life.Now that I look back in the past.. My life today is clearly the consequence of decisions  I took early in my life..Everyone relates with this fact..The point here is that the decisions we took  were good for us or not..As far as my failed track record is concerned  I have been a average person,with lot of failures ..Actually  I donot have much to tell or say about success because  I never felt it..How disspointing is that..Ya it is very very dissapointing  or I should say its heart breaking...as far as I am concerned...but over the years I realised at different  phases  of life we have to take decisions that affect our personal  and professional life..This is true ..but this is also true that we have to make although  small decisions  or rather choices on daily basis as well..They also affect us... The consequences  of our decisions are sometimes  positive and sometimes negative..
"With positive outcomes we donot become any changed person ,we are still the same deep within if the outcome comes negative...but we start defining our ownselves  with the outcomes of decisions  we took..."
People judge  us by the outcomes of our decisions  all our lives..We start believing  their judgements..
Everything goes pretty well if somehow our decisions  come out to be successful ,we are labeled as successful , intelligent and extraordinary ,till any of our decisions results in a huge failure...and people start calling us failure for life..and we as the dumbest creatures of the world.. make it our reality and even stop trying and doing something to improve our situation..
Pretty ordinary people like me whose  most of life decisions  resulted in failure become so underconfident  and insecure that we lose even the simplest decision making powers..We even feel underconfident to choose a perfect dress that suits us ..we need to seek approvals   for every thing we do..

"The main reason behind our failed life was not that we took the bad or wrong decisions  all the time all our life...but it was lack of self belief and  most importantly we  always quit in between ,we stopped  trying again..we made other people's judgments our reality..we were weak, we were introvert and we were underconfident too..but the thing that stopped us from moving forward was we ourselves..we only proved all our decisions were wrong because once facing failure  at any particular point we simply stopped ,we did not thought  of any alternate ways to restart..we did not look for other plans to make things work..It was all our own weaknesses  that were totally responsible  for our failed life ..our wrong decisions  can delay our success but we decided to quit  and that is why we failed...We ourselves  gave up on ourselves that was the reason of our failed  and a pretty average  life today and not our decisions.."
Nobody can 100% be sure about the outcome  of any decision ,so in the fear of a negative outcome or even after getting  a failure we  just can not stop..moving ahead...These  are really big blunders  we do to ourselves if we simply stop..and then as time passes we are only left with regrets..that why we didn't  give ourselves  another chance...
So ,Please  I want to request you all reading that please donot stop in between, donot stop chasing your dreams..you will not be successful  all the time, all your decisions  might not be fruitful..but please donot give up...once life passes like this we will not be able to rewind anything..Whatever you want to do ,start now,own your mistakes and decisions  ...keep improving..Success  is assured..😊😊😊😊 
You can also go through the below post  to  that describes reasons of failure in life👇🏻👇🏻

https://myheartfultalks.blogspot.com/2020/07/failures-and-success-in-life.htmlhttps://myheartfultalks.blogspot.com/2020/07/failures-and-success-in-life.html
https://myheartfultalks.blogspot.com/2020/07/we-fail-because-we-are-never-driven-by.html
https://myheartfultalks.blogspot.com/2020/07/we-fail-because-we-are-never-driven-by.html

Mental barriers in carrying on in a relationship..

Namaste everyone,

We are simple ordinary people but we do have a clear understanding  of relationships...Everything for us  in a relationship is clear and pure from our side... and all we expect from our partner is pure love and commitment, nothing else..

There is a pure connection or a hidden chemistry or in simple words I should say a  understanding in two individuals that can not be explained  to others...Even little fakeness can not exist in relationships that are pure from the heart.. 

Relationships can be flawed at various levels for the society..The  two individuals involved appear to lack compatibilty,may belong to totally different backgrounds, may not match in looks, can have different  personalities. But one thing is sure if their love  and commitment is pure.. Relationship will be able to overcome all odds no matter what and survive successfully. 

One thing that bothers me a lot is since ordinary people who are 100% committed towards any relationship they are involved in..little  infidelity, little discrimination, little disrespect... disappoints us to the core..

It is our expectation that how we  feel , others should also have the same feelings  and even the intensity of commitment should also be the same..With time however, we have very well understood that this is  next to impossible...

This  some times creates mental barriers for ordinary  people to be part of a relationship..Because sometimes our expectations from the other person are way too high then the normal..In the initial days of a relationship  it is too early to judge a person and declare a 100% match or not.. There will never be a 100% match and 100% compatibility but with time if we see 100% commitment and 100% honesty then only its a possible match worth it..

Some people especially  the introvert ones fear getting into relationships despite of the fact that they are badly in need of a person to be on their side to support them,to take care of them,to love them and to make feel important  and worth it..They create so many mental barriers  in the form of high end expectations that too in very initial stages of a relationship..And sometimes they start doing the opposite by undermining themselves so much that they donot feel themselves as fit for any relationship due to their own insecurities and fears ...

These barriers does not make any sense once we find the right people and when they become  part of our lives.. all insecurities, all fears and all negativity simply vanishes..Life  starts appearing beautiful and worth it only when we ourselves start believing that we also deserve happiness,we are also worthy ,we also have a dream, we  can also achieve  what we dream for..and added to this love, support , care and trust of our loved ones on us works magic...🥰🥰😊

Dear readers, Please get over all your mental  barriers  they are definitely not real..They are simply our insecurities haunting us to deviate us from  living a life we always dreamt of ,we definitely can achieve what we want with continuous hardwork and self confidence...As far as relationships are concerned, donot jump into relationships, take your time..Expect things in a relationship that you are also willing to give wholeheartedly and with immense purity...After that if things go wrong due to whatever reasons, Please simply walk away...

Are we afraid ? Are we on the right track???

 Why are we afraid of failure ??

Namaste everyone,
After  deciding to give a new start  to our lives ,On the way the first question that keeps on coming to our mind  is that "Are we on the right track??pata nahi ... I also donot know... 

But this stupid thought keeps on coming to our minds but we can not allow this thought to be a deterrent, we can not stop here..we can not do it now, "aisa toh hum hamesha se karte aaye,pahle toh kuch start hi nahi kiya and agar kuch kiya bhi toh usko halfway  mei hi leave kar diya..humein apni iss habit ko chodna hi padega ,we donot even have a choice". 
We can not stop now ..Its high time..  how many years of our lives we are going to waste like this.. whenever hum  kuch bhi naya start karte hain, kisi ko bhi ek dum se outstanding results aana start nahi ho jate.. time lagta hai..overnight success toh bahut hi kam logon ko milti hai..hum apni  although  slow  but satisfying  si start ko midway leave nahi kar sakte hain.. kyunki ordinary logon ke liy phir se start karna, phir aur bhi mushkil ho jayega..himmat nahi harni hai.. apni  comfort zone se bahar nikalna hi padega..kuch uneasy bhi lagega..but at the end of every day, atleast lagega kuch acha kiya... ek bade se well mei ..ek chota sa coin hi sahi par dala.. and one  day we will get the water..
So please  I request you  not to stop trying  and please donot feel disappointed  or  disheartened...even if the results are not coming.. keep trying.. I am also trying.. muje bhi darr lagta hai failure se..but this time I am not going to stop and you all out there like me.. please donot stop.. together we all will make it .😊😊😊👍👍

Everything will be fine...just make a start..

Everything will be fine..

Namaste everyone..

Once we start... I donot  know from where ,a new energy comes in... although abhi kuch substantial  hua nai hai.. kuch bada achieve  bhi nai kiya hai... par start toh kiya.. woh kya hamare jaise ordinary logon ke liy kam hai kya...kuch bhi achieve karna ,life mei hugely successful  hona  bahut sare factors par depend karta hai.. overnight toh kuch nahi hota.. bahut  hardwork karna padta hai.. one thing  I am damn sure... once we start ..the journey  is wonderful... kuch naya karne ki feeling hi alag hoti hai.. sense of achievement aane lagta hai,apni kuch worth feel hoti hai... ajeeb sa confidence feel hota hai...can not say why but happiness  bhi feel hoti hai...

Negative  thoughts jaise gayab si jo jati hain..because hum apne new venture mei itne busy ho jate hain..ki humein  jo bhi free time milta hai apni routine life se badi mushkil se..woh  hum kuch productive karne mei use karte hain.. jo shayad immediately  nahi par kabhi na kabhi results jaroor dega.. am sure about that... agar kisi raste  par chalne bhar se hi humein acha ,pleasant and calm feel hota hai.. toh why not follow  it..destination will also be reached soon..😊😊

Everything will be fine that's for sure...but how long this is going to take..and more importantly how many of us have the courage to hang on is the real deal....

Future, nobody  has seen but the thing that is in our hands is continuous effort towards our dream..The journey is no doubt going to be tough , stressful and many times we will be disappointed..but there will be satisfaction  that atleast we are moving ahead..For ordinary  people even little  achievements matter a lot...These are the only motivators we have..I must add here  ,sometimes  we even continue without any possible help or motivation from anybody...but with faith that everything will be fine we continue....😊😊