Coming out of a Failed Relationship."I Hate You and I Mean it.."

" I hate you and I mean it.."

Namaste everyone,

Getting  a failed  relationship out of your life and especially mind is not at all easy for people who were actually into the relationship with full commitment and honesty..They find it the hardest to accept that the relationship is over or does not have any significance for the other and therefore needs to be ended..

Giving your 100% in a relationship  is not at all wrong but in addition , expecting honesty and commitment is noway a crime or asking way too much..

"Relationship is a living thing that feeds on love ,care,trust, honesty,commitment and respect..In absence of any one of the above requirements it will sooner or later die..."

Once admitting that the relationship is over physically  it still takes a lot of time to get over it emotionally...

 Reminding ourselves how  badly the other person hurt you ,that too multiple times  and over quite a long period of time..only because we became so ignorant  or I should say we refused to see the reality in the name of our love and importance of the relationship for us..but now that we know that there is nothing left in the relationship we must keep reminding yourself loud and clear that you simply cannot stand your partner who failed to  continue a pure relationship due to whatever reasons and tell him or her ,"I hate  you and I mean it"..

"From now onwards I can not allow you to take over my feelings and  throwing  me in the depression of unworthiness and insecurity.. Whatever excuses you gave and how badly you played with my emotions can never be justified by any dumb explanation..So so..so...I hate you and I mean it.."

Dear readers, coming out of a failed relationship is not a failure of life..It is actually a blessing in disguise that protected us from any further damage both emotionally and sometimes physically as well..Don't be emotional fools..As I say being  emotional is not a problem  but being a emotional fool is definitely a problem..We ordinary people are emotional and tend to act foolish many a times acting emotionally..Coming out of a failed and broken relationship is not easy..But keep reminding yourself  how badly the other person used you, hurt you, insulted you and made you feel insecure,  underconfident and unwanted..

With passing days ,you will surely feel thankful ,Yes ,you read me correct ,thankful to the hurts done to you so that you became stronger and more confident as a person..There are no insecurities now..There is no sense of unworthiness as you were forced to feel as a result of the relationship that lacked integrity ,honesty and of course purity..Give a thought...🤔🤔

Dear Diary, I am Tired of failing...

Namaste  everyone,

This post was written by me in my diary when I was really tired of failing again and again despite trying the hardest and giving my best..hope you relate with it.

Many people like me who have lived and still continue to live ordinary lives..are really sick and tired of failing all the time..We never get expected results...not at par ever with our own expectations...we fail ourselves many a times or rather most of the times....
This pretty good track record of failing makes us deep down so... so underconfident and really sad...continuing becomes real difficult..The feelings of  unworthiness  are really empowering us..
What next...What is way out of this..?? Are we going to be like this all our lives...??All kind of negative thoughts  are hitting us real hard...We donot know whom to approach  for help..We are not at all vocal to others about the thoughts in  our head and feelings  in our hearts..

We never expressed that the little little things that we failed to achieve  were  very very important  to us...They were our little dreams..they were what we always wanted to be..
We wanted to be ,The real independent ones both emotionally  and financially..We proved to be failures all the times.. with no answers  or justifications at all..What are we really doing wrong ? What makes us fit for nothing ?Are we really unworthy?Why are we only destined for all this?
The repercussions  of failures are deep routed..they are definitely  making us very weak deep inside...they make our lives miserable and results in full financial  and emotional dependence  on others..that is not at all a healthy  choice for any individual..We are getting totally off track..Losing all the time is not easy..
Sense of some kind of accomplishment makes a individual  feel worthy of living..It makes  them feel happy and joyful..It definitely  gives them purpose  for life..A deep sense of feeling important and successful in our own eyes and also  for others is very much inspiring  for a individual  to carry on in life.. The sole purpose  of being successful  in achieving  our dreams is to make our ownselves and our loved ones real  proud..But failing all the time is really hitting hard...and most importantly gathering courage over and over again to start afresh is very easy to say but extremely  difficult  to accomplish...😕😕😕😕😕

How to Deal With Our Own Weaknesses..?

Dealing  with our own  weaknesses..

Namaste everyone,

Our life  can easily be summarized as a result of  how we conquered  our own weaknesses...

Ordinary people are usually not able to control their emotions that further turns into their weakness...
Being emotional is not a problem but being a emotional fool is a real problem..Having empathy for others,loving them,caring for them ,doing them favours..is not at all bad ..but things become out of control when we allow people to  use us for their own selfish motives that too at the stake of harming us in some possible way. In the way of using ordinary people some  selfish  ones not only hurt  them emotionally  but can also cause financial  damage..
Usually  we are attached to people  whom we love,be it family or friends..we have emotional connections  with them ..we are of course  emotionally  dependent  on them as well...but always remember  there is a very thin line between being used and helping someone.
We can not be simply blind in love or due to whatever emotional  reason.. and  allow others to use us to the extent they start  hurting us mentally..
"Emotions are for something that we really feel from the heart..they are heartful..there is no space of selfishness  in relationships  that are based on love and trust.."
Being  an emotional human being  is not the trait of a weak person..but when we allow people to use us for their selfish  motives and we continue  to allow them without any regret ,this is not our weakness but  shear foolishness..
Favours  are done amongst people out of love and friendship..
Having a empathy  or rather a soft corner for people is not a weakness but misusing other people's emotions is of  course  an offence..
We have to deal with it with self confidence..we allow people to misuse us or ill treat us or disrespect  us or reject us only because we easily revealed  to them that we are weak deep within and will not be able to do without them..This show off of our weakness allows people to treat us the way they want depending upon their needs or even moods..
   One very very important  point to be noted here is what are  reasons for ordinary  people being so emotionally weak, foolish , underconfident and insecure that some people are easily able to use  them and throw  them as per their  discretion..
The thing is they used us for whatever  selfish  reasons  of their's, still we were useful to them  in some possible way..we never used them,we simply  loved them and did favours out of a relationship that we  shared with them..Now if and only if we  decide to confidently  deal with our weaknesses...the other  selfish  person is and was never of any use to us..So quiting becomes the easiest, think about it..🤔🤔🤔

Why Everybody Is Faking Around?

Everybody is faking around….

Namaste everyone, 

What is happening all around us in terms of emotional turbulences is so detrimental that we all on day to day basis appear dissatisfied , disappointed and sometimes saddened as well..

Nobody appears  happy...Everybody  looks fed up, tired and lost in some sense..Everybody is so... so.. fed up but nobody wants to work on the solution..

"Everybody  is faking around...hiding their fears,  insecurities,disappointments, aspirations,weaknesses and many a times sadness...They pretend to be happy... Everybody is OK...but from  inside all are torn out.."

We all are stuck in the web of expectations ,some from others and some from our ownselves..When these expectations are somehow not met.. life and people around us stop making sense...

Dear readers,to move forward in life we have to stop pretending or faking ...We just have to first accept our own personality as we are, with no manipulations...We have to identify our own weaknesses and strengths.....We can not just fool around our inner own self..Because pretending something that we are actually  not can never take us anywhere we really want to reach....It may help to exist in society for some time..But with time everybody's true self  appears ...So why can't we always be what we really are..and Express what we really feel..So that relationships made and commitments done in every aspect  of life are based on purity and truth...thus are longlasting....

Dear readers,What others think of us should  no way bother us ,if we are  not insecure from within and our intentions are pure...Stop being the victim of your own assumptions about ourself from other's perspective...It does not matter at all...If you are true to yourself..

Try following things..

1.Be vocal about your feelings. 

2.Donot offend or abuse anybody in the name of proving your point..

3.Accept your weaknesses...first. 

4.Donot get affected by other people's comments or point of views about you..Be it positive or negative..

5.Donot seek approvals  for everything you do..

6.Own your actions..

7.Work hard on improving yourself and not on simply proving your point to others..

8.Do things that you yourself like or love to do and not to please others.

9.Donot forget to complete your responsibilities in the name of following your dream..

10.Donot lose hope if you get failures or harsh judgements from others .

11.Donot demean yourselves nor others by your actions or words..

12.Stop 

12.Be committed to yourself and your dream..

13.Donot be led by others point of view but you can take guidance..There is no harm in seeking help..But 100% dependence on others for everything is not acceptable..

14.Stop pretending..

15.Accept life as it is, donot jump to conclusions based on your fears and insecurities..

16.Always move forward,stop living in the past and judging yourself  on the basis of your past..

17.Help others in whatever possible way you can..

18.Distance yourselves  from all negativity be it about yourself or even other people.

19.Keep on improving your skill set..

20.Work  on self grooming and  self improvement..

Nothing is impossible, take the first step..Your pure commitment and hard work will guide you further..😇👍

 

Why I am Still Unchanged ?

Unchanged me...

 Namaste everyone,

Thank God ,time did not change me..The only thing that was left unchanged with time was me.Life's ups and downs never changed me in the sense that ....

1.I never stopped trusting people...

2.I never stopped Giving my best to them...

3.I always kept Choosing other's priorities over mine..

4.I Never betrayed anyone..

5.Always I was ready for help..

6.Doing favours and not asking anything in return was my way....

7.I Never expressed myself. I never let people know how I really felt...

8.Always available attitude of mine..

9.I have  never been  disrespectful to anyone..

10. I was always been  the simple,ordinary me that always wished good for everyone..Always prayed that I donot want to hurt anyone intentionally or even unintentionally...

11.Always adjusting  even if required sacrificing my own interest..

12.Never asked for favours from anybody nor even expressed my desires..

13.Nil expectations from others..The only thing expected was respect and honesty...

14.Never had a dream for myself..

15.Never raised my voice against anybody..

My personality traits donot seem to fit in today's so called successful world..Some people might see this as a flaw in my personality and that I was foolish,naive and underconfident  but for  me these above things mentioned were my strengths but irony is my strengths could never made me successful more importantly I never changed with time..

I personally never agree nor I give  any attention to other's thought process and perception about me ,It is my nature..I donot want to change...but One thing  that I totally lacked and regret is that ,"I never had a dream of my own,I was always OK being average,I never recognized or realized that I was living a purposeless life and was not at all motivated to achieve anything in life...This was indeed the biggest blunder I did to myself..."

Change is difficult but it is definitely inevitable ...

Changing for good , mending your ways ,improving  and learning with each passing day adapting to new environment is not easy for ordinary people but it is the thing we should definitely opt for..This is the need..As lately I also recognized our older ,ordinary and simpler versions donot fit in today's world.. 

The world where people value each other,give 100% to each other only out of love... Honesty ,integrity and commitment were the things people looked for in each other no more exist..It's not that every body is bad but selfishness has definitely taken over selflessness.. Priorities have changed..

After so many personal and professional  failures ,still ordinary people like me find it difficult to change..

Dear readers,I am never in favour of changing your personality  for the sake of fitting into the world but becoming strong and confident enough to face the world is inevitable...In absence of self confidence and atleast the courage to stand on your own be it professionally or personally you will continue to live a miserable and purposeless life..And this is a fact ...

The only way that may work for ordinary  people like me is to 

1.Work harder and harder  without losing hope

2. Focus on Self improvement and grooming in terms of improving our skill set.

3.Maintaining a positive mindset and hanging on, no matter what.. is the only way out..

As I personally feel we can not change inside out..We can improve and learn but we can not change our basic  nature....So ,Dear readers, Please donot change for the sake of others or for fitting in...but do improve and work upon your strengths...😇👍

"My dream is important  to me.."

Namaste everyone...

I  have started  focusing  on my own small dream that completely belongs to me... It's  been two months now. Never before in my own life I realised that  a ordinary person like me can dare to have a dream of my own...Still seems surprising  to me..sometimes I  even feel of letting it go,I do feel scared..I also do feel very nervous because  I am  not getting expected results till date...then I  have to fight against  my own negative thoughts  and shout out loud reminding myself  that,"My dream is important  to me , I am all about my dream now .." 

I do not know what people will think or how they will  react when they will realise that a person like me can even have a dream of my own...It will be unbelievable  for many ,even for people very close to me.. mainly  because  over the years they have never seen me focusing  on myself in any possible way...

This change in me is not at all sudden as far as my inner feelings  are concerned..but it may appear sudden for people around me.As I have never been expressive  regarding my own feelings to others..I never say what I feel or want..Over the years I developed  a strong sense of unworthiness ..I was fit for nothing fellow in my own eyes...may be for others also..

I was struggling  in my own head..I had nothing that I really own..Daily I was asking God what is my worth...What is my  real purpose...
I  am having a lot of responsibilities  as  a mother of two kids and a wife ..I am a complete  family person.
But I was never responsible  for my own self..I  am dependent  on my family for everything..be it emotional  or financial... I have always been a weak and vulnerable  person..My  strong feelings of unworthiness  has nothing to do with my family..I donot know why , but my dream is growing roots deep within my mind ....Sometimes  I think it is driven by  the thought of proving myself to others and most importantly  to myself..."There is a lot of positivity  in my dream..I dream of really making my kids proud ,this feeling fills me with enthusiasm and zeal to move forward."

I am feeling hungry  for things that elevate  my self esteem and confidence...

I feel lonely..I may be suffering  from some kind  of depression..I don't know...I  may appear funny to people that know  me..They will be asking..what is wrong  in my mind ..I may appear a fool as they will judge me for following  my dream despite  having a wonderful life...

But they will definitely  not realise that ,Now my dream is important to me...I am going to follow it no matter what...😊😊😊😇😇

I will not allow people to tell me that " my silly dream will not be successful..as  usual.As I am a family person..I  have turned so dumb over the years that I won't  be successful  in whatever I will start ...and moreover there is no need for me to start anything new..It will be a time and effort wastage.."

All these things are not going to effect  me in any possible manner because my determination  is not weak  now as it used to be.."My dream is important as  anybody else's is..I may fail but I will not stop working hard on it..Turning  dreams into reality might be difficult  but not impossible.."😇😇

Why are we  not ready to change or adapt...

Namaste everyone,
Why are we not ready to change or adapt??
In case of people with ordinary average  lives..this is quite a common trait..I personally  agree to this..Change is not easy for ordinary people..because we have  always  been living in a small shell where we continue  to live as underconfident ,introvert ,talentless individuals  who cannot dream  or dare to do  something  new ..
"The reason is obvious we fear to fail and so we never want to expose ourselves to the judgements of the world..."

Fear of failure is so much imbibed  in us that we are not able to adapt to any changes in our life or even small things in our daily routines..
Before starting the thoughts of routine changes in our life style (those are just superficial  changes)..but we are so insecure deep within that we can not even do that..Forget about the real changes we need to do to our pessimistic  mindset..
I personally feel we never ever focussed on self development. We always had  the mindset that nothing should  be changed..so that the dull purposeless life of ours continues seamlessly..
We have always been so much afraid to change  that although  we feel restless and anxious  deep within but are unable to change..To bring any  positive  changes to life or to improve our living standards  both financially and emotionally does  require a lot of effort and inner urge to achieve..
We want to achieve  things, if we get it some how by God's  grace or by other people's  effort..we can not do anything..because we keep on reminding ourselves  that even if we try we are going to fail,so instead of losing and getting self embarrassment, we never even try to start  or at least participate in something that requires changes within us as well as our environment  or daily routines..
We have to just  start  with a new thought..we have to take little time from our own lives for ourselves..we have to work on self growth..we have to learn something..we have to follow the dream that we buried deep within ourselves  just because we never gathered the courage  to pursue it..may be circumstances also did not favour us at that time...but stop bothering  about them now.. we have to be better then the previous  versions of ourselves..The goal is achievable..we have weaknesses..we are not the best ..we  shall from now onwards never stop ..we will become  better with each passing day..I also agree  these changes in our mindsets and external  environment will definitely  not be easy.. but there  is no way out.. We have to take ourselves out of this  feeling of being unworthy  or having a failed life...It may have been ,but is definitely not  going  to be like this..because  hard work and things done truly  from the heart always work😊😊😊.

 Follow Your Dream..

Namaste  everyone, 

This post is a collection of some quote's reels . HOPE u like it and relate..

 Why can't we agree to disagree??

Namaste everyone,

In our day to day lives,we have a lot of disagreements with people around us, be it our closed ones also but that noway means that we hate them as well..This thing or I should say thought is not as simple as it appears..

We usually mix disagreements with hate  and disrespect or sometimes even disregard for each other...but the thing is ,

If I like red and you like blue...It noway indicates that blue is  a  bad color and I should start to hate you ,because you donot like what  I like..This simple thought helped me identify a major reason that acted  as a deterrent in relationships...

As partners or as any two individuals it is a 100% possibility that our point of views can not fully match..We will  agree on somethings and disagree on others..We  actually fail to  respect or even recognize each other's opinions and try to force our's onto them...This forceful behaviour can last for sometime...but its not healthy,it's not legitimate.. It is in fact disrespectful and even sometimes disturbing for one of the partner and he or she starts feeling underconfident and insecure because their opinion doesnot matter and  even if they gather courage to express it ,It results in a rift or a bad fight or quarrel between the two individuals...

It is the  trait of some dominating individuals that they want their opinion only to matter without even giving slightest regard to what their partners feel and want to say..

To agree on each other's disagreements is not that difficult, if we  respect and trust each other completely..It is but obvious that one person's insecurities regarding disagreements on a particular thing results in a quarrel or  I should say some kind of rift between  the two individuals...

Dear readers,I personally feel we should give full freedom  to our partners to express themselves fully.. so that we very well know what is exactly going on in their heads and how exactly they are feelings..What is  our partner's view on a particular thing that affects our lives is definitely important..So how can we ignore it or even disregard it...One important point here is that if we are giving enough space to our partner's point of view and respect it ,the same behaviour is also expected from them as well...Because in relationships everything is mutual...The responsibility of the past ,present and future of a relationship lies on the shoulders of both the individuals and noway on any one of them...

I have seen a different  side of many people in relationships, because usually people fail to acknowledge or understand other person's feelings and fears...

Dear readers,Why can't we act as support system for our partners or for that matter everybody we come in contact with..

Always give enough space for even your naturally introvert or under confident  partner to flourish.. Act  as a positive support,be real and respectful....With unconditional support and love, you can definitely make your some how weak partner do wonders and achieve his or her dream..Be a constant support system...This is what is expected...

The irresponsible behaviour of one of the partner be like 

1.Taking the other for granted..

2. Misunderstanding  the other all the time..

3. Disrespecting  the other partner..

4. Occupying the personal space of the other forcefully..

5. Giving zero or very very little importance to other's point of view..

6. Prioritising yourself on your partner..

7. Giving high importance to your career and goals and giving  negligible importance to your partner's ambitions and regarding them as useless..

8. Not  trusting your partner..

9. Not  asking for your partner's choice or opinion or like or dislike..

10. Taking  decisions that affect both the partners without other's consent and sometimes even knowledge..

11. Forcing your superiority on the other in terms of finances,looks or any other stupid reason..

12. Using   your partner as a ladder for growth instead of a support system and even failing to recognize and acknowledge..

13. Making  fun of the weaknesses of your partner publicly instead of correcting him or her privately..

All the above mentioned acts  of  one of the partner result in resentment and in my personal opinion a kind of emotional abuse  people do to their partners..

Dear readers,Please accept your partners with their weaknesses and strengths..Create enough space for both of the partners to flourish and prosper in a relationship..Disagreements on things can not or I should  say must not be the reason of a failed relationship.. Disagreements are point of views..They are not judgements for parting ways..Opinion of both the partners should be equally valued..then only a  healthy relationship can survive the ups and downs of life..This is actually the only way out for the prosperity and mental well being of both the partners and for the success of the relationship as a whole..Think about it..🤔😊💞