Mental barriers in carrying on in a relationship..

Namaste everyone,

We are simple ordinary people but we do have a clear understanding  of relationships...Everything for us  in a relationship is clear and pure from our side... and all we expect from our partner is pure love and commitment, nothing else..

There is a pure connection or a hidden chemistry or in simple words I should say a  understanding in two individuals that can not be explained  to others...Even little fakeness can not exist in relationships that are pure from the heart.. 

Relationships can be flawed at various levels for the society..The  two individuals involved appear to lack compatibilty,may belong to totally different backgrounds, may not match in looks, can have different  personalities. But one thing is sure if their love  and commitment is pure.. Relationship will be able to overcome all odds no matter what and survive successfully. 

One thing that bothers me a lot is since ordinary people who are 100% committed towards any relationship they are involved in..little  infidelity, little discrimination, little disrespect... disappoints us to the core..

It is our expectation that how we  feel , others should also have the same feelings  and even the intensity of commitment should also be the same..With time however, we have very well understood that this is  next to impossible...

This  some times creates mental barriers for ordinary  people to be part of a relationship..Because sometimes our expectations from the other person are way too high then the normal..In the initial days of a relationship  it is too early to judge a person and declare a 100% match or not.. There will never be a 100% match and 100% compatibility but with time if we see 100% commitment and 100% honesty then only its a possible match worth it..

Some people especially  the introvert ones fear getting into relationships despite of the fact that they are badly in need of a person to be on their side to support them,to take care of them,to love them and to make feel important  and worth it..They create so many mental barriers  in the form of high end expectations that too in very initial stages of a relationship..And sometimes they start doing the opposite by undermining themselves so much that they donot feel themselves as fit for any relationship due to their own insecurities and fears ...

These barriers does not make any sense once we find the right people and when they become  part of our lives.. all insecurities, all fears and all negativity simply vanishes..Life  starts appearing beautiful and worth it only when we ourselves start believing that we also deserve happiness,we are also worthy ,we also have a dream, we  can also achieve  what we dream for..and added to this love, support , care and trust of our loved ones on us works magic...🥰🥰😊

Dear readers, Please get over all your mental  barriers  they are definitely not real..They are simply our insecurities haunting us to deviate us from  living a life we always dreamt of ,we definitely can achieve what we want with continuous hardwork and self confidence...As far as relationships are concerned, donot jump into relationships, take your time..Expect things in a relationship that you are also willing to give wholeheartedly and with immense purity...After that if things go wrong due to whatever reasons, Please simply walk away...

Are we afraid ? Are we on the right track???

 Why are we afraid of failure ??

Namaste everyone,
After  deciding to give a new start  to our lives ,On the way the first question that keeps on coming to our mind  is that "Are we on the right track??pata nahi ... I also donot know... 

But this stupid thought keeps on coming to our minds but we can not allow this thought to be a deterrent, we can not stop here..we can not do it now, "aisa toh hum hamesha se karte aaye,pahle toh kuch start hi nahi kiya and agar kuch kiya bhi toh usko halfway  mei hi leave kar diya..humein apni iss habit ko chodna hi padega ,we donot even have a choice". 
We can not stop now ..Its high time..  how many years of our lives we are going to waste like this.. whenever hum  kuch bhi naya start karte hain, kisi ko bhi ek dum se outstanding results aana start nahi ho jate.. time lagta hai..overnight success toh bahut hi kam logon ko milti hai..hum apni  although  slow  but satisfying  si start ko midway leave nahi kar sakte hain.. kyunki ordinary logon ke liy phir se start karna, phir aur bhi mushkil ho jayega..himmat nahi harni hai.. apni  comfort zone se bahar nikalna hi padega..kuch uneasy bhi lagega..but at the end of every day, atleast lagega kuch acha kiya... ek bade se well mei ..ek chota sa coin hi sahi par dala.. and one  day we will get the water..
So please  I request you  not to stop trying  and please donot feel disappointed  or  disheartened...even if the results are not coming.. keep trying.. I am also trying.. muje bhi darr lagta hai failure se..but this time I am not going to stop and you all out there like me.. please donot stop.. together we all will make it .😊😊😊👍👍

Everything will be fine...just make a start..

Everything will be fine..

Namaste everyone..

Once we start... I donot  know from where ,a new energy comes in... although abhi kuch substantial  hua nai hai.. kuch bada achieve  bhi nai kiya hai... par start toh kiya.. woh kya hamare jaise ordinary logon ke liy kam hai kya...kuch bhi achieve karna ,life mei hugely successful  hona  bahut sare factors par depend karta hai.. overnight toh kuch nahi hota.. bahut  hardwork karna padta hai.. one thing  I am damn sure... once we start ..the journey  is wonderful... kuch naya karne ki feeling hi alag hoti hai.. sense of achievement aane lagta hai,apni kuch worth feel hoti hai... ajeeb sa confidence feel hota hai...can not say why but happiness  bhi feel hoti hai...

Negative  thoughts jaise gayab si jo jati hain..because hum apne new venture mei itne busy ho jate hain..ki humein  jo bhi free time milta hai apni routine life se badi mushkil se..woh  hum kuch productive karne mei use karte hain.. jo shayad immediately  nahi par kabhi na kabhi results jaroor dega.. am sure about that... agar kisi raste  par chalne bhar se hi humein acha ,pleasant and calm feel hota hai.. toh why not follow  it..destination will also be reached soon..😊😊

Everything will be fine that's for sure...but how long this is going to take..and more importantly how many of us have the courage to hang on is the real deal....

Future, nobody  has seen but the thing that is in our hands is continuous effort towards our dream..The journey is no doubt going to be tough , stressful and many times we will be disappointed..but there will be satisfaction  that atleast we are moving ahead..For ordinary  people even little  achievements matter a lot...These are the only motivators we have..I must add here  ,sometimes  we even continue without any possible help or motivation from anybody...but with faith that everything will be fine we continue....😊😊

Ordinary me...

Namaste everyone, 

I failed several times that too pretty miserably,I felt helpless ,I lost hope,I cried as well...But I realised even after this my dream is still the most important thing  for me..It is my identity, infact my dream is the only thing I proudly call as my own..I can not do without it..So I continued.. because this is the only way out...

"I waited for me , I did not come...After years, I came..Torn,Underconfident ,Insecure,purposeless.."

This was me ,years ago when I  knew something was really not right ,I was losing me ,My identity, My confidence..and still kept ignoring those very strong signals  of ever diminishing self worth and on the way I  kept compromising my self respect ,financial independence and confidence..for things..and people..and feelings that were obviously not long lasting..What was wrong with me...

Nothing  is forever.. Nothing is permanent, not even feelings or people very very close to us..Priorities change there is nothing wrong in it ,Problems  in relationships arise when it makes people to compromise their personal space ,value and financial independence. but still many people are somehow blinded by whatever  stupid reasons they give and finally end up broke both emotionally and financially..

Ordinary people find it extremely difficult to again even have a conversation with people whose true self has been shamelessly revealed.. This world ( our family ,our friends or any relationships we are involved in )  altogether suddenly become a totally different place if we fail to agree and adjust all the time...🤔🤔🤔🤔

Walking alone is not that bad,at least you need not seek approvals with each  forward step..There is no fear of judgements..You are 100% responsible for yourself and your actions...You are not dependent..You have your own pace and you need not be answerable to anyone..This is good..Really good...

Dear readers ,we ordinary ones were never that super talented, confident, outspoken or extrovert or even the lucky ones .We were the simple ,silly ordinary ones..I donot find it bad unless at some point of time we realise we  have to carve our way out in much much harder way then some others..( I am here noway demeaning the successful ones as I very well know everyone has their own share of struggles).

I am saying it's more difficult for ordinary ones is only because we ourselves spend years altogether only for the simple  realisation that our dream is also important and more importantly achievable...🤨🤔

 

Happiness is different from peace..

Namaste everyone,
My favourite lines
"Sukh hai alag aur chain alag hai,par jo yeh dekhnen woh nain alag hain"
(these are lyrics  from a movie named Luck  by chance)
Today this song got stuck in my head ,as it sometimes  happens with all of us ..but I was not getting  the song completely..but these lyrics were in my mind..
Like literally  if we look at  the essence  of life we will definitely  come to know that how different is happiness from peace....
We spent our whole lives in search of happiness..we look for happiness in love,money, career..or any other kind of our little little day to day wishes that very  rarely come true..but we somehow continue to look for happiness  in them all our lives...Even if we somehow achieve things we wish for in life happiness generated by them is very short lived..When one wish or desire is fulfilled  another pops up in our heads.. Actually  we all keep falling into this viscous trap of desires that  never get fulfilled completely and these are so endless that they keep on coming and going....The question here is , Do they really give us peace of mind..?? The answer as per my experience  is a No...because these desires are our wants not needs...

This never ending craving for fulfilling  our wishes or I should say wants keeps on bothering us.. Keeping us restless all our lives...
I am from a small town  and belonged to an average middle class family.. When  I got married we had nothing..everything we had was  on loan..at that time my thoughts were like ,me and my husband will together work hard and create a far far improved life financially but in reality it was never my personal priority..but a improved financial  condition  is a thing that everybody like me needs especially  for their children..It was  always my thought process that without love and family the happiness given by materialistic  things won't  be long lasting..After two and a half years of our marriage , my husband got a new job and we moved to Bangalore, we are now in a far better financial  condition..but it never gave any kind of happiness to me...
In due course  of time people  like us only prioritize money matters and forget our family far behind ...We donot have time for each other, although this is also true that we work hard only  for our family..but we are so mesmerized and blinded by this blind run for money and status that we ourselves  forget that how far behind we have left our family and loved ones..We really never felt peaceful and content even after getting so many things we once aspired  for... Everything appears fake...
The main reason behind this is we start looking for happiness in things and  not with our loved ones..Without our loved ones  no materialistic thing can ever generate happiness that is everlasting...

We actually  waste years of our lives in search of things that give shortlived happiness  and never peace..
Materialistic things money,luxury and career are important part of our lives but they are not our lives...
In this life we have  started giving so much importance  to materialistic  things but totally forget that without our family these things will give fake happiness and no content and peace of mind..

In today's  world we have a lot of things but no one to share with ..rather I should say nobody to share our feelings and emotions nor our so called luxuries...
Life is itself a luxury but without our family it makes no sense at all.. I also very well know that without a strong financial  status family also starts falling apart..but we have to create a balance...
Dear readers,even very experienced and succesful people fail to create a balance in life ..this must be because happiness and peace of mind should go hand in hand..but it happens very rarely that people are actually happy and at peace  because we continously expect happiness from  fulfilling our desires that are themselves not permanent and keep on changing with time,age or other day to day circumstances..How can a thing that itself is not longlasting  generate permanent happiness and further peace of mind?🤔🤔